Impasse
by Ancora Imparo 83
Summary: What if Bella never jumped off that cliff and Edward never came back? 5 years later Isabella returns to Forks to bury her father. A broken Bella eager to cut the ties that town held but will a visit from her past change her mind?
1. Chapter One: Hwy 101

**This is my first fan fic so please be gentle, I beg you. **

**You will notice chapter songs at the beginning and thats just to let you know what I was listening to at the time, for a little inspiration. :) **

Chapter song: Flume by Bon Iver

Chapter One: Hwy 101

Bella POV:

I hadn't been back here in 5 years. Driving down the rain slicked _101 _highway stuck behind a big rig truck hauling giant tree trunks..."home sweet home" I muttered sarcastically to myself clenching the steering wheel remembering why I was here in the first place.

_Charlie... _sighs.

I have never thought my father a weak man; never in my life did I ever think I'd be making this trip. The prickly burn coming from my eyes was a reminder of the all night crying stint I had done on the plane coming from Boston. "Is this really happening?" I asked myself. My cell phone rang snapping me out of my daze, turning down the music I answer my phone wincing as I look at who the caller is.

"Jake, I'm fine. I will call you when I get into town; I'm stuck behind a rig".

"uh, Bella, I'm sorry I'm calling you so much" his husky voice cracked " I'm just worried about y…um, I mean, it's raining pretty bad just be careful…Slick roads and all".

There was silence an uncomfortable silence and then I heard sniffing, without thinking I hastily replied

"Jake, I am fine for the thousandth time...I'll uh, call you when I'm settled ok?" snapping the phone shut without hearing his reply I begin to concentrate on the road again turning up the radio to let the music distract me.

_Where are you when I need you? I can't do this alone... Damn you. _

I shake out those silly thoughts as soon as they appear in my mind. I blamed this place for these feelings and thoughts I haven't experienced since I was 18…the feeling of emptiness, ugh. It's been a little over 5 years since I have seen or heard from…him and about 2 seconds since I've thought about him. I was being silly with all this; a normal person would have moved on and lived their life. I did, I'm living a good life in Boston and dating a great guy. So I can't help but wonder why I still think about him? Upset at myself for this childish banter I step on the gas and swerve to my left and speed up passing the truck as he honks his horn.

I pull onto the side of the road just before I enter the town I banished myself from all those years ago and fumble around my purse for my cigarettes that I only smoke during moments like this…but then again, it's not every day your father dies from a heart attack so what was my excuse for the other times.

I sit on the hood of my rental and lift my head to feel the light cool drizzle on my face hoping the cool raindrops would wake me from this nightmare. I can feel the tears building as I inhale to take in the scent of this place, a wet grass and woodsy smell that could only be Forks. A rustling sound comes within earshot of me and I can see movement in the forest…" You know, when I told you I was fine I meant it" I muttered as I roll my eyes "I mean really Jake, I am 10 minutes away" the rustling continues and a large black wolf suddenly appears. "S...Sam? What are you doing here? I told Jake I was…" what was I thinking asking questions? like I could hear his response, I laugh to myself and I'm suddenly cut off by huffing and a low growl and my attention is at the cigarette in my hands, I turn to look at the giant wolf and he's pawing his nose. I laugh "Sorry Sam, bad habit" I throw it to the ground and stomp it out "gone now...happy?" he huffs and stares whimpering "Sam, I am ok. Really I am fine so please" I gesture to my car "I need to get to Charlie's now". I return to my car starting the engine smiling at the creature and take off towards…towards...home? Is that what it was?

Jeez this was going to be a long week.

**Please review to let me know what you think...again, this is my first fan fic so be gentle :) Its a short first chapter but I have the whole story written out and trust me, the chapters get longer.**


	2. Chapter Two: Treading Lightly

******Twilight character names belong to Stephanie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**Thanks for the reviews, I really appreciate them. Please keep in mind that when I wrote this story out I didnt realize how long I had been writing for ( heehee) , I tend to get carried away with the story line so I have been editing the chapters as I go.**

**Hope you like it!**

Chapter song: Laughing with by Regina Spektor

Chapter Two: Treading Lightly

I promised myself I was only going to be here for a week. Bury my father, pack up his belongings and get that house on the market. To be done with this place was the mentality I had when it came to my business here...this was no longer my home.

Shockingly cavalier, I know, but this was the only way I could deal with my father's passing...comfortably numb. _Dammit! I fucking miss him._ I could feel the tears building up at the corners of my eyes as I drive through the main street of this po' dunk town. I went for another cigarette "Last one dude" I mutter to myself" I'm serious this time". I laugh when I realize how crazy I must sound talking to myself in his car. Not much has changed since I left here. With the exception of a McDonald's restaurant next door to the bank and a pay-less across the street from Newton's Outfitters, it's as if time stood still in this dreary town.

I continue to drive down memory lane looking around at all the houses and shops that filled this town; I pass the police station slowly taking in the depression of it all. The flag flown at half staff and remembrance ribbons tied to the doors. I feel a ball in my throat and my foot pounds the gas to race on ahead..._there has to be a better way to deal with this shit._ Wiping the tears from my eyes and after what seems like hours but really its only minutes I come to a screeching halt in front of that school. The school that housed so many of my bittersweet memories of being young and hopeful. It's amazing how small it feels when you've been away. My mind wanders and I begin to think about that last morning we were together and happy...well, I was at least. That black event known as my 18th birthday was a memory forever burned in my mind but tucked away. I can still remember the way he tasted, the way he smelled and his laugh. "Ugh!! Get a grip Swan!" I hit my forehead with the palm of my hand and shake off these stupid thoughts._ He didn't want you remember?_ Shaking my head I flip open my phone and begin dialing.

"It's about time B!" boy, he sounds angry.

"I know baby, I'm just reeling right now. It's a bit overwhelming being here again." rolling my eyes as I try to find my pack of cigarettes again. _I thought I said no more!_ I kick my subconscious to the curb and light another...take that! "I understand Izzy" god I hate when he calls me that "I still think I should have gone with you. It's not too late; I can switch shifts with..."

"No Joseph, don't be silly." I cut him off before he could finish "I need to do this alone, but thank you."

"Fine, have it your way Izzy. Are you ever going to let me in?"

"Please don't do this today Joseph...can we discuss this when I get home?" I pinch the bridge of my nose expecting a fight.

"Ok Izzy, when you come home...oh and hey?" he adds quickly "yes" I wince knowing what's coming

He inhales deeply

"I love you Izzy" I look straight ahead as turn the key and begin to drive " I miss you Joe, I'll call you later ok?" there was a long silence on the line. "Talk to you later B". I've dated Joseph for almost two years now and I couldn't bring myself to tell him I loved him. I don't really know what I feel for him. I know that I like him but it's not enough to say I love this man.

_I met Joseph at a sports bar& grill near Harvard. I was in my third year at the University and he was there visiting his brother who was graduating that year. I was there with some friends I had made and we were all watching the Red Socks vs. Yankees game. I have never been one for watching or playing sports but with the intensity of the crowd around me, it was easy to get carried away. "Are you a Red Sock or Yankee fan?" he asked while taking the empty seat next to me " um, neither. I really don't follow any particular team" He smiles warmly and I can't help but return the smile. "I'm Joseph Connelly; it's nice to meet you." He's a handsome man, tall and muscular (not like steroid big that's gross) with dark brown hair and these gorgeous blue eyes. I couldn't get over his Boston accent, a true native of bean town. He was a nice guy but he wasn't him and I didn't expect him to be. But my subconscious unfortunately has a mind of her own when it came down to the comparing and contrasting of the two and for some reason she was still rooting for Edward...Judas! Joseph is a fireman in Boston and until last week our relationship was laid back and stress free, I liked that. Dropping the L bomb on me made things a little uneasy and I found myself treading lightly. He has been patient with me in more ways than one; I am the only 23 year old virgin I know. It's not for lack of trying, believe me, but I can't bring myself to be intimate with him. I am just a wreck through and through..._

My phone goes off, a text from Joseph

**I need to hear you love me.**

Is he seriously starting this now?

**Joseph, I can't tell you something I don't know I feel. I will not lie to you. Please give me time.**

This isn't going to end well tonight.

**You've had time, plenty of time**

That does it.

**I refuse to do this today. Of all days Joe! I'm turning off my phone and I will call you later.**

I throw my phone to the back seat of my car and begin my drive to Charlie's. I turn onto the street feeling myself shake within my skin, I grasp the steering wheel again and try to control this fit I felt building in my chest. I've been doing fine until now, what the hell is going on with me? That's when I see him...

Jake.

He is sitting on the steps of the house with his head in his hands. I pull up to the drive way and his head snaps up staring intently at the car. "BELLA!" he jumps up from his spot and he scoops me up with one hand holding me in a bone crushing hug. "I've missed you Bells" I bury my head in his hair, breathing him in feeling my will crumble. I start to sob uncontrollably and his hold only gets tighter." Just let it out sweetie, I won't tell anyone your being a marshmallow" I giggle and kiss his cheek lightly. "Thank you Jake, I appreciate you handling the funeral arrangements...you really didn't –"

"Stop right there Bells. Charlie was like a second dad to me, I loved him just as much as you did and it is only right I help wherever I can" he took my head in his hands and gently kissed my forehead. "You still have family here Bella, no matter what" he wiped my tears and went to help me unload my bags.

I stop at the door and take in the sight of this house I used to call home...I'm frozen where I stand, unable to move forward...literally.

_I can't do this! I need you here..._

**OK please let me know what you think...be gentle please :)** **It's a bit slow in the beginning I know, but introductions must be made...**


	3. Chapter Three: Numb

**Thanks to everyone who put my story on their story alerts...that really makes me happy :) **

**So check this out, this chapter is kinda near and dear to me. I wrote out my experience when I found out my Aunt died so reliving it was kinda hard. Eh, oh well life goes on. Now I know Bella is coming off as a kinda douche bag but she just lost her dad...give her time to get a handle on it :) **

**thanks again people you guys rock!**

Chapter song: Bridge over troubled waters by Johnny Cash

Chapter Three: Numb

Bella POV:

_Just Breath. Inhale…exhale…good girl_

Jacob takes my trembling hand and gives me and encouraging nod pushing me forward, "I'm here Bells". I turn the key and it's as if by opening this door I open an air tight container. The scent envelopes me in a sudden gust of wind, like a slap in the face. The scent of leather and old spice…this was my father. I stifle a whimper as I make my way past the doorway. The faint sunlight shoots rays through the living room windows and tiny dust particles dance around his chair catching my attention to his jacket. I get this sudden urge to call out for my dad as I survey the area. I notice the gun holster by the entrance and his shoes by the chair. I take small steps towards the kitchen and notice the dirty dishes in the sink. The fishing rod leaning by the fridge and the dirty hamper full of clothes by the washer. _It's just as he left it that morning…_

"B...Bella?"

I forgot that he was here for a moment, Jake places his hand on my shoulder and I can hear him take in a deep breath before he speaks again. "I've picked out his suit and took it down to funeral home. I hope you don't mind that". I feel the nausea hit me as shook my head "s'kay" I manage to spit out, feeling the ache in my chest I turn towards Jake and notice the tears streaming down his face. I quickly avert my eyes and smile the tiniest smile hoping that would convince Jake I was ok.

"Jake, do you mind if I was left alone right now?"I ask while peeking up at him through my eyelashes "I need to just be here…with my thoughts"

"Of course honey, Billy and I will pick you up and take you to the funeral home around 12 tomorrow"

"Thanks Jake, thank you for everything. I mean that, you are like a brother to me and I'll love you forever" I quickly wipe the tears that escape my eyes and begin to walk him towards the door, before he has a chance to speak again I throw myself at him hugging him like the giant teddy bear that he is, "Goodnight Jake". His kisses the top of my head, "Just a phone call away Bells...don't hesitate 'kay?" I nod as I watch him disappear into the woods suddenly regretting the loneliness I was wishing for a minute ago. The house has not changed since I left it, I turned on the television to E.S.P.N and slowly make my way up the stairs running my fingers lightly against the wall touching the pictures of us wishing to hear my dad yell at the game on TV like he used to…_its funny what you miss when they're gone. _I always hated that saying…

I stop in front of the door that lead to the room I once called my own, but I can't bring myself to open it. Not yet. Charlie's room was sparsely decorated, the plaid blankets lay messy across the bed and his pillow still had his indention in it. I started picking up the clothes littered across the floor attempting to bring some kind of order to his room, I breathe him in feeling my knees buckle as I crash onto his bed. Silent tears trickle down my face when I smell his pillow and arrange his clothes into a makeshift blanket, "I miss you daddy", and there it went...my guard was down and I began to sob inconsolably.

The quick raps on the door woke me in a startled frenzy and for a moment I forgot where I was. When the realization of it all hit me the knocking continued in quick successions. "I'll be right there!" I run down the stairs quickly fixing my ponytail while trying to adjust my sight, I look at the time and it's two in the morning..."what the heck?" I grab the nearest thing I can get my hands on as I stomp towards the door. "What the heck man it's two in the fucking morning!" I swing the door open and lift whatever I had in my hands above my head as if I were up to bat. No one's there, "ok that's just weird" I flip on the porch light to look around and I find a large vase filled with pink and yellow roses placed on the floor right in front of me, how strange_._"An umbrella Bella? Really? What damage where you hoping to inflict with this?"I laugh to 's a little too early for this isn't it? I inspect the bouquet of flowers and its beautiful ceramic vase smelling each flower, gently caressing the petals. There is no card attached

_Hmmm…Jake, you're relentless. _

I take one more look around before I close the door, retreating to the kitchen I place the flowers on the table and dig through my father's cabinets. "Jack my old friend, miss me?" I take a glass from the dishwasher and poor myself some whiskey. My dad only drank the nasty stuff during special occasions so the bottle had been collecting dust since I was here last. I made it a habit back then to pay a visit every now and then. I despised the stuff but it provided me a numbing effect I couldn't deny was soothing. I sat at the kitchen table taking it all in. The T.V in the background showing some ridiculous infomercial for Time Life's greatest sports blunders and I smile to myself imagining my father sprawled across the sofa gently snoring. "Dad, what am I supposed to do without you here?" I play with the glass of nastiness debating to down it in its entirety "I met a guy, you'd like him." I choked out. "Work is fine, stressful but I work well under pressure…I'd like to think I get that from you" I pick the cigarettes out of my purse and fumble with the lighter "I know dad" I light the cigarette rolling my eyes "It's a bad habit and I promise this is the last one, ok that's a lie…but I promise to stop after I'm out of here". I sit there in a trance for what seems like forever until the cigarette burned my finger." Shit!" I flinch.

I start on the dishes dumping the glass of whiskey down the drain "You know dad, you shouldn't leave your dirty dishes piled here for a long time, you'll attract ants"_. What am I thinking! Stop talking to yourself dumbass, he isn't here!_ I finish the dishes and go for my phone; I turn it on and see that I have three unread text messages and a voicemail._ Here we go…ten says they are all from Joe. _

**Message #1 10:09 a.m. Joseph: I'm sorry B. You just make it so hard to talk to you. **

**Message #2 11:15 a.m. Joseph: Are we ever going to talk about this? Did you really turn your phone off? Come the fuck on B.**

_What does he expect me to say right now!_

**Message #3 8 p.m. Joseph: Alright Isabella. Fine I give up, it's on you now. You make the move…I feel like I'm talking to a wall here.**

_Whatever._

**New voicemail, January 4****th**** 4 p.m.: "Hey Bella, its Olivia. I'm just calling to see if you made it in ok. There is a sub coming in for you the rest of the week so your classes are all taken care of until Monday. Call me when you get this ok? Love you girl"**

I text her back in return letting her know I'm fine and shut off my phone again. Charlie's answering machine is full but that can wait until later. I need to lie down. Today is going to hard enough.

I lie in Charlie's bed staring at the ceiling for the rest of the morning; I need to cry this out now before Jake comes. At 9 a.m. I get up and drag my suitcase up the stairs to Charlie's room. I begin to unpack the outfit I bought for the occasion. A fitted pencil skirt and dress blouse all black, I hated wearing black. I jump in the shower washing off the cigarette and tears from the night before. I look in the mirror and begin to feel my restless night. Trying my best to conceal the puffiness in my eyes but give up choosing just the lip-gloss and mascara combo. _There is no hope for you dude, you look like shit. _I throw on my clothes and pin my hair up in a French twist, I hate this outfit and swear to burn it after today. Before I know it 12 rolls around and Jake catches me pacing around the kitchen,

"Wow Bells, you look…"

"Like a train wreck?"

"No dork, I was gonna say you look pretty" he says as he shakes his head.

"Jake, pretty is not the look I'm shooting for right now, are we ready?"

"Geez Bella, take a compliment" he playfully punches my shoulder as I smile up at him.

"Hey Jake, you didn't have to send the flowers last night…but thanks just the same"

"Um Bells, I didn't send any flowers, what are you talking about?"

I was about to argue with him when I was cut off by the sounds of a squeaky wheelchair.

Outside we are met by Jacob's fiancée Hillary and Billy. "Bella, how are you holding up?" Billy asks as I reach down for a hug, "I'm well Billy thank you". He shook his head and looked as if I was full of shit...he knew me well. I feel my body being turned swiftly around and am met by the strong grasps of Hillary. "Oh Bella!" she sobs "I'm so sorry! Charlie was a good man" I wince at her embrace.

_Jacob started imprinted on Hillary the summer I graduated from high school; she went to Forks high but was a year younger than me. She worked also worked at Newton's with me at the time and we became friends quickly. She was the new girl in town then and when Jake met her he was stuck to her like glue. I was glad that he clicked with her and I was happy I had girlfriend I could confide in during the whole Victoria debacle. When __**he**__ left after my birthday I was zombie for the better part of the year, Jake pulled me out of my depression long enough to see that he was showing interest in me, I never returned the sentiment and felt horrible for keeping him around as my crutch. So I was grateful when he started dating Hillary knowing that when I left, Jake wouldn't be alone_.

"Hey Hillary, I've missed you" I tighten the embrace and it was good to see her again, I forgot how much I missed my friends here. "Bella why did you stay in this big empty house by yourself? You should have come to our house…you wouldn't have been alone!" She said as she took me into another embrace "My god it's been years Bella!"

_Let's get this over with shall we?_

We arrive at the funeral home and we are greeted by literally the whole town. Hundreds of people swarm around the building and I can feel myself starting to choke up again. _Contain yourself dude, no water works today. _I feel my hand being taken and Jake winks at me assuring that it will be ok. Thank goodness for Jake. In the parlor the main hallway look as if it was taking out of a scene from that movie 'The Shining'. No matter how long I felt I was walking I couldn't reach the viewing room. I was met by uniformed police officers and people I forgot I knew. I made my way to the casket and dropped down on my knees gasping for air. "Shh Bella sweetheart it's ok"_ fuck this is really happening isn't it? _"I can't do this Jake, I can't be here". He sits me down on the chair and whispers "for Charlie Bella" and kisses the top of my head gently. I am flanked by Hillary whose hand is intertwined with mine and I keep it there for the remainder of the service. In the graveyard the sun is shining for once and this makes me smile. _Charlie would have loved the sun, perfect day for fishing. _I skim the crowd around me and notice old friends Jessica and Mike, who was holding a baby...wow that's sweet. Angela and Ben with Eric and Lauren. I smile half heartily toward them as Angela blows me a kiss. _She was always so sweet to me. _

When the service is over the crowd disburses into tinier crowds that eventually disappear. I am left there alone sitting in front of the open grave that houses my father's casket. I look down toward the coffin and feel the hole in my heart being stretched like a rubber band. Just then my thoughts were being interrupted by a familiar voice…

"Now Bella, did you honestly think I was going to let you go through this alone?"

"Alice?"

_Holy fuck, I must be dreaming. _

**Please review :) **


	4. Chapter Four: Friendship

***Please take a moment or two to listen to these songs. They got me in the bubbly mood I needed to be in to write Alice's POV.**

*** This rated mature for a reason, and we will get to the lemony goodness in later chapters... :) ***

**All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, I am just bending them to my will for a bit :) **

Chapter song(s): Love save the empty by Erin McCarley and Lover by Devendra Banhart

Chapter four: Friendship

Alice POV

"I'll take the two scarves please. One in yellow and the other in blue, oh and can you please add the shoes as well. Um, I better take that belt as well." _Am I missing anything? Hmmm what to do next__..._" eww! Not those shoes those are positively ghastly! I want the patent leather Mary Jane's next to those." This sales associate must be new, not a girl I recognize.

"That will be five hundred twenty seven dollars and sixty two cents, would that be check or charge Miss?"

"Cash." I give her a smile and reach into my bag and count the cash in increments of fifties.

"Uh...uh ok" she smiles back at me hesitantly holding up the bills to the light as if she was looking for a discrepancy. She looks so nervous, poor new girl.

_You act like its monopoly money my goodness. "_Thank you for shopping at Barney's, Have a wonderful day". _I really must start using my card, poor girl looks as if she was an accomplice to some crime. _

It's a really windy day today; rain should be here in about 5 minutes. I open my umbrella and begin to make my way to the car down the street; people stare at me and then up at the sky with confused expressions on their faces..._just wait and see._ The rain started just as soon as a woman snickers at my apparent fashion faux paux. The buzzing in my pocket distracts me from my smug reverie, _who's the dry one now__..._

"Hello my love" I answer and hear his laugh on the other end.

"Hey short stuff, where are you?" I love when he calls me that, I feel so giddy when I hear his voice. "You weren't home when we got back from our hunting trip, I expected you here...naked" awe he sounds so disappointed but I can almost hear is smile. "I've missed you baby"

"Jazz!" I giggle, "We agreed to wait until we were married again..." We planned to remarry for the 2nd time next month and I got it into my head that sustaining from sex until we were married would make it more traditional, though tradition was not something our family followed. It's been fun watching him try everything from pouting to spoiling me rotten.

"You and your role playing Alice, it is driving me crazy my love. But...I know how much this means to you so" he sighs" I will play along."

"I love you Jasper, I will see you in a few. I have one more place I need to go an-"

"Ali, come home. Don't you think you've spent enough money on shoes you will never wear?" he laughs "I've missed you my love...please?" he knows me too well I laugh to myself and agree turning the car around to head home. We just settled into our home near Brooklyn, which Rosalie absolutely despises, she thinks it's too small and plain. I think she's spoiled but love her just the same. I open the door to our home and the faint echo of Clair de Lune fills the air. _Edward is in his mood again...great. _I know he can hear me, it's been over 5 years since we've seen her and I do miss her so. Everyone does...even Rosalie (though she would never admit it out loud). I make my way up the stairs to Edward's door; placing my hand on the knob I close my eyes remembering our home in Forks. I miss my brother, physically I know he is here with us but I miss the old him, I miss....Bella's Edward.

_Why don't you come out of that room and go hunting with me Edward? It's been too long since we've gone together and I know you haven't been for a while. _The music is turned up louder and I grimace at his childish behavior.

_Real mature brother, I can keep on and on and on and on thinking my non sense all day every day and talk and talk and talk about shoes, clothes__...__the weather and did I say shoes?! _The music stops and the door swings open. There stands my brother glaring at me with a look promising violence and I laugh "try it Edward" He runs his hands through that tousled head of hair and leans against the door frame staring at my forehead._ Your eyes are pitch black Edward, How long has it been since you've fed?_ He rolls his eyes and begins to close the door again; my foot stops his attempt as I push open the door. "This has got to stop Edward. Please come hunting with me" I look around his room and the bare walls are just depressing. The stereo system is the only thing decorating this space and that alone would make anyone in a foul mood. _Edward you must really let me do a once over on this room! I'm sure some color in here would brighten your outlook. _I walk to the window to open the blinds and his hand is there before I can reach for the cord. "Enough Alice. Leave me be" he takes my hand and releases it sharply" I want to be alone do you understand? I don't want to hunt; I don't want a brighter room I just want to be left alone." _Edward, I am only trying to help you brother. _I think to him while taking in his heartbreaking expression. _It's been so long Edward, you've suffered enough please...please look for her. That will be the only thin- "_ENOUGH!" he snapped at me, but Edward never snaps at me...no one snaps at me! _THAT WOULD BE THE ONLY THING THAT WOULD MAKE IT BETTER YOU COWARD!_ I feel like I want to cry, if it were possible to shed tears I'm sure I would be streaming. I start toward the door when he grabs my hand and sighs deeply.

"Alice, I apologize for yelling at you. I had no right no talk to you in that manner" I pull him in a hug, he is hesitant but embraces me back" I can't do it. It's been too long and I'm sure she's forgotten me by now, my will is done and I have to live with that. I made the proper choice" _No, Edward. You never forget your first, true love. Plus, I would have seen it if she... _Oh drat, busted.

"Alice, I thought I told you to leave her alone. Not looking into her future was part of that promise you made."

"I can't help it Edward, I was very close to her in Forks so naturally I get visions of the choices she makes every now and then. Nothing very clear and sometimes it's just too blurry. But I would know if she made a big choice like marrying someone." I look up at him smiling innocently. I know that look on his face, _light bulb moment Edward? Have I said something that interests you? _

"Either way Alice, what's done is done." he says as he pushes me toward the opened door.

_Coward. _

_"_Shoo fly" he smirks at me.

I open the door to my room to see Jasper unpacking his suitcase, I wrap my arms around his waist breathing him in. "I've missed you lovey, how was Canada?" I giggle as I feel the mood shift in the room between us. "Jazz, stop" He reaches down to kiss my neck as I grab his curly blonde hair pulling him up to kiss his mouth. "Behave yourself Jasper; you are making this harder than it's supposed to be". He tightens his embrace and deepens the kiss, before I could protest he moved us quickly to the bed in one fluid movement. I was almost going to give in to my basic instincts when the flickers of a scene appeared in my head, was that?...oh no!

_Oh my god! Charlie! "Charlie_! No!" I scream out loud and Jasper stops fiddling with the buttons of my blouse. "Ali? What's going on? Who is Charlie?" He looks down at me with his eyebrow raised.

"Charlie, Jasper! Bella's father! Oh my god!" I scream throwing my head into my hands at the same moment the entire family appears into our room. "." Edward stood there shaking; I can see the tension across this face as he looks at me in horror.

"Did she say Bella?" Rose asked as she continued flipping through her magazine.

"Charlie? Alice! Out with it!" Edward snapped at me. There was a sudden wave of calm that came over everyone like a blanket erasing all the tension from the room. "Cut the shit Jasper!" Edward napped.

"I saw Ch-Ch Charlie on the ground outside his house grabbing his chest. I don't think he's gonna make it. Just as fast as the vision came into my head it vanished" I continued. "I can't see what happened after, It's all black" I looked up at Edward whose eyes were narrowed looking out the window suddenly exhales sharply "People die every day Alice. This is why I told you I didn't want you looking into her future or Charlie's for that matter, now you've upset yourself. It...It's, not our concern anymore. I do feel sorry for Bel...her but life goes on. Its, not my place to care anymore. " I couldn't believe what was coming out of his mouth. _Asshole_. He turned and walked out of the room without meeting my glare, I had a good mind to throw something at him...what good that would do. _How could you say something like that, are you hearing yourself you selfish ass? _He stops in his tracks turning his head over his shoulder, "Alice, that is what humans do, they die."

_Edward, you disgust me._

Never, in the fifty odd years I've known my brother have I ever seen him so detached from everything. Did I ever really know him? The thought of doubting him terrified me. He knew what I was thinking and I could feel his body stiffen before he began to walk away._ She was too good for you anyway Edward. I see that now, she is a beautiful person and this person you've become...well, you are right; it would have destroyed her spirit. I hate you right now, and that breaks my heart..._figuratively speaking, of course.

"She is not my equal and I am not hers." he muttered from his room.

How could he mean that?

"Jasper, I need to be there for Bella." I plead with him as his embrace on me tightens in comfort.

"Alice, it's not your place to intervene. As cold as Edward may sound he has a good point my love." He hesitated for a second and continued, "Plus, I fear that you would only be hurting her more by showing up out of the blue after five years of silence." He cradles me in his arms and whispered sweet nothings in my ear trying to soothe me. I have to be there! I can't just sit back and let my friend go through this alone. I know it's been a long time but what kind of friend would I be if I weren't there in during this desperate time. That's when I made the choice; I would go to her to see if she needed a friend. Of course she would! We were great friends then, I'm sure she needs me! I can't think about this around Edward. I must make my get-a-way quick to avoid Edward and the families attempts to stop me. Jasper notices my mood change from despair to excitement and stares at me with one eyebrow raised. "What is going on in that mind of yours my love?"He asks as his finger draws lines across my forehead. "I just remembered how excited I am that my wedding dress is finally ready" I lied, I hate lying to Jasper but the situation calls for it. He smiles and takes my head in between my hands to place a gentle kiss on my nose. "Alice, tell Bella I said hello" he smiles down to me and kisses my nose._ I love this man_

Esme finally convinced Edward to hunt with Jasper that weekend, he insisted on going alone and Esme just happy that he was going at all to argue with him. He left the night before I decided to leave for Forks. "You will call me as soon as you're in town right" Jasper held my face between his hands grazing his nose against mine. "I will my love and you have to remember to keep your thoughts to yourself when he comes home right?" I countered as I jumped up to kiss him quickly. "I will do everything in my power to be a mental mute for the next few days".

The plane ride was a long one, I kept trying to see what Bella would do but I kept getting a fuzzy picture. So annoying. I tried calling Charlie's but to no avail, I was at a dead end. I arrived in Port Angeles around twelve and made a mad dash to our old home outside of Forks. _Ugh! It reeks of wet dog! What is this?_ I open the massive garage knowing there was only one car left. Edward didn't want to take his Volvo with him when we moved all those years ago. He didn't want any reminders of her which I thought was a bit melodramatic but no one ever asks for the short ones opinions. The keys were still in the ignition; it's as if he wanted someone to just come and steal it..._thanks brother. _The piles of newspaper,_ way to cancel the paper Emmett,_ littered across the front porch of our home are exactly what I need to find any information on Charlie. The most recent dated this morning said his funeral was at twelve this afternoon, _shit! I am so late! _I jump into the Volvo and make my way to the graveyard to pay my respects to Charlie. My goodness this is such a sad time. I find the gravesite and see Bella sitting waving off a tall, dark boy_. My goodness he's tall! _As he drives away I step out of the car and begin to walk towards her. There she sat, alone with a cigarette in her hand. "Bella smokes now?" I whisper to myself as I begin to make my way over to her. The years have been good to her, she has certainly grown into herself and I must say her fashion sense has since then improved.

I had no idea what to say to her, I knew whatever I said would startle her. I regretted being here for a millisecond until I realized that she was, at one point, like family to me...she still was. _Screw that Alice, grow a pair!_

"Now Bella, did you honestly think I was going to let you go through this alone?"

Bella's head snapped around giving her grief away. She stared at me for a few minutes in disbelief and I instantly felt horrible for scaring her. "Alice? What are you doing here? What is it you want?" she finally spoke through her teeth as if to stifle a whimper. Those were the words I didn't want to here.

"Isabella, I saw a vision of...and well, I uh...oh screw it Bella! I had to be here!" I managed to stutter out as I went in to hug her. "I couldn't stay away anymore, not at a time like this!" I hugged her tight and with hesitation she returned the hug. In my tight embrace she began to sob, I knew I made the right choice in coming back for my friend. No one should go through this alone...especially Bella. I don't care whose ex she is, she will always be a cherished being in my existence.

"Oh Alice! You have no idea how much I have missed you!" she sobbed "it's like a dream! Are you really here?"

"Yes silly girl, I am here and I will stay here to help you through this" I told Jasper I would stay for a day or two tops but by the look of this girl I might have to extend my stay. We walked to the diner a few blocks away catching up on things. I was surprised how quickly she accepted me back in her life. We talked for what seemed like hours about nothing and everything. "His name is Joseph" she continued speaking of the man in her life "We have been dating for about three years, he's a great guy" I wasn't convinced; she kept looking down at her fingers twisting and untwisting them. "That is great Bella, as long as you're happy then I am happy" I lied. I knew deep down who she was meant for, and I really think she did as well. _How could he be so blind?_ I thought to myself as she went on telling me about her life in Boston. Bella became an English teacher in a high school at Boston, I always knew she'd teach. "You seem so...I don't know, grown up Bella!" I laugh, "I am happy to see you are well but I have to ask...You smoke? I never pegged you as a smoker, it's shocking! But very French of you" I giggled promising myself to help her end that ugly habit.

"I am a stress smoker" she smiled, "I know it's a horrible habit and I'm quitting when I go back home to Boston". She looked up from her coffee and bit her lip trying to find a way to ask me something, _oh lord here it comes. It was only a matter of time Alice. _"How is your brother?" she asked looking up through her lashes, "I hope he's well". Her tone sounded cold and a bit condescending. "Um, he is fine. He's at Columbia University studying psychology right now" I said. I hear her snicker and she rolls her eyes, "oh the irony in that". We giggled together and it felt like old times. "Let's get you home shall we?" we walk back toward the car and she suddenly stopped dead in her tracks taking it in, _oh shit. _"Interesting..."she mused as she stepped into the car touching the dash and breathing in the scent of the car. _I should have rented a car instead, dang it. _I drive her home trying to make light conversation with her but she seems distracted now. "Will you stay with me Alice?" she asks as she twists her arm into mine. "Of course Bella! I am here for you". We begin our walk up to the house and suddenly I find myself frozen in place unable to move. That scent. Less than a day old but I know that scent from anywhere....

_Oh shit, I'm gonna be in so much trouble. _

**It's alot longer than the others, I couldn't find a stopping point for some reason. I apologize it sounds too rushed, I am coming off a graveyard shift and can barely keep my eyes open. Hope you enjoy and please rememeber to review! Toodle Loo**


	5. Chapter Five: Return

***A big thanks to the wonderful people who reviewed and put my story on alert. You guys rock!**

***I am not Stephenie Meyer, I am Stephanie L. and I do not own the Twilight Saga.**

***I was listening to the chapter songs on repeat and went and got myself all depressed :( **

**I hope you enjoy the story.**

Chapter song(s):

Warning sign by Coldplay

Skinny Love by Bon Iver

Chapter Five: Return

_Oftentimes we say goodbye to the person we love without wanting to. Though that doesn't mean that we've stopped loving them or we've stopped to care. Sometimes goodbye is a painful way to say_

_I love you._

_-Kezia_

Edward POV:

Put yourself in my shoes for a moment, I am over one hundred years old now and I've lived this existence believing I was a monster. A soulless, heartless killing machine convinced that I deserved nothing good in my life, I'd just destroy it.

Then came Isabella.

It was like nothing I've ever experienced in all my years of walking this earth. She gave me hope, showed me the meaning of unyielding love and for a moment, I forgot the monster I was. I knew...I just knew this creature would be my reason for living. After all, what's that saying...when you can live forever, what do you live for?

Well, it was her. Is her. Will always be...her.

_Is he ever going to snap out of this? My goodness can you be anymore emo? Ohh! There's my brush!_

Humph

_Come on bro lets hunt! We can fly to Africa or Brazil!_

No

_Son, leave your room for a while. Get out and breathe new air._

Just go away.

I've lived in the confines of my room for the better part of five years; I hunt but not as often as I should. I just don't really care anymore. I came home from South America to make my family happy, to complete our coven but all I really want is to have her back in my arms again, feel her warmth and breathe her in. But made the decision to leave to save her life. It nearly killed me to do it but it was what was right for her. It wasn't safe to have her so close to my kind, Jasper nearly killed her and that was the breaking point for me. The thoughts of losing her because of what we are make me sick to my stomach. I've had days, months, years to mull this over and each minute it becomes harder and harder to be without my love.

_It's your own fault dumbass. You made your bed, now you lie in it. _

Enough Rose!

When Alice told us about the passing of Charlie, my instincts were to race to my loves side. I know it's been too long and the damage has been done. But the tugging inside me would not give. I have to see her. It was nearly seven in the morning when I decided to travel back to the only place I ever really knew as home. I was going to Forks. I needed to be there, even if it was at a distance. She couldn't do this alone, she needed me. "Esme, I have decided to hunt. I am leaving now and won't return until next week, will you please make Carlisle aware of this when he returns from the hospital?" _Sure, you have no idea how happy this makes me Edward. _"Why don't you take Jasper with you? For the company." Esme was never one to sit still; she spoke as she sketched out ideas for a new home not really looking at me, "No mom, I'd rather be..."_ Alone, yes I know Edward. _She looked up and gave a wary smile, _do be careful son. _

"I always am."

Alice was sitting there watching television and reciting the alphabet in Italian in her mind. What is she hiding? I was expecting some kind of well wishing or I told you so, I was almost sure she saw what I was up to. "I am going to hunt Alice, when I get back I promise you can redecorate my room." She said nothing to me, she was very upset and I didn't blame her. The words I spoke that day were the blackest of lies. I haven't told lies that revolting since that day in the woods. I was branded a selfish coward by my sister and in some ways she was right. I was a coward, never selfish. Was it selfish to leave for Bella's safety? I think not. But I was a coward, after all these years I couldn't even bring myself to check in on her. Afraid that the damage was too great to repair, yes...in that sense I was. I eventually allowed myself to regret the decision to leave her side. For the longest time I truly believed that I was protecting her from what I was. I was going to make my wrongs right and even if she never forgives me at least I'll know I had finally given her the truth she deserved. I would tell her that she was good enough; I would tell her I loved her more than she could ever know. I would tell her I have been miserable without her and she was my only distraction. There was no life without my love.

I arrived in Seattle late afternoon, flight delays were expected. If there was a god he wasn't going to make this easy for me. I ran from Seattle to the outskirts of Forks in record time. The use of a car was not needed, I felt as though it wouldn't get me there fast enough. Our home was still the same; the grass and brush grew over the porch and almost covered the door. It was a secret door that hid the painful memories of my heartache here. My room, left untouched when we moved five years ago still had her pictures on the wall. I had her soiled clothes in a plastic bag in my dresser and her hair band on the floor. This room was my time capsule. My Volvo was parked in the garage waiting patiently for my arrival. I threw off the cover and opened the door to my car. The faint scent that was Bella hit me like a battering ram. She was everywhere in my car, another hair band wrapped around the stick shift. I couldn't bring myself to drive it again.

I walked at human speed through the woods to hunt what game I could get. I found myself wondering around enough to end up our meadow. Time stood still here, the wild flowers and soft grass stayed as I remembered. I needed to see her, even if it was at a distance. I wondered for what seemed like hours finally at Charlie's doorstep. _That scent, its familiar...like wet dog. Could it be? No! I couldn't..._I was cut off of my train of thought when I heard the faint sobs inside the house, the TV low in the background but I still couldn't muster up the courage to just knock. I scaled the house peering through the window I remember climbing in many times before. It was empty. I let myself in and looked around her room again. This room too was untouched but her scent was everywhere. _What am I thinking; I cannot be here like this. This is not proper._ I paced around the house for a few hours eventually hearing her sobs die down to gentle snoring. How I wished I could be there with her, staring at her wishing I could kiss her lips or smell her hair.

I needed to show her I cared. But how? I went back to the house to think, I couldn't be rational around her. In Carlisle's office there was a vase that I always liked simple yet elegant. Pink and yellow roses that Esme kept in the back still grew wild around the gates of the mini garden. I snipped a dozen and arranged them perfectly in the vase. When I returned to the house she was still sleeping.

"Edward? Please don't leave me. I need you here."

I froze, had I been caught?

_What_?

"Edward, where are you? I need you!"

I had always known that spoke in her sleep, but was it possible that she still thought of me? It took all I had to not storm in the house and take her in my arms. I placed the vase on the ground and knocked quickly, she stirred and I knocked again. I hid in the tree across the street from her home and watched her. The first time in over five years I laid my eyes on my Bella again.

Bella had always been beautiful to me. Five years later she grew into her body, filling out with soft curves, a truly beautiful physique. Her face was beautiful, mature and elegant. The long beautiful brown hair piled up into a messy ponytail with tendrils of her dark locks falling gently across her face. Her wide milk chocolate eyes searching the porch discovered my present. My memory did not do her justice. _What was I thinking? How could I leave her? I must make this right._

I could smell the faint scent of tobacco and liquor. _Was she smoking? Drinking? What have I driven her to?_ She had a conversation with her dad and I wanted so badly to hold her and comfort her. It was not possible...yet.

I left to my home and planned to stay there until the evening. I would show myself to her, make it right. I went back to her home later that evening readying myself for the moment I had been waiting for all these years. I stopped dead in my tracks as I took in the scent I knew from anywhere, Jasmine and hyacinth. _ALICE!!!!! _I flipped my phone open began to text her, this time she has gone too far!

I was cut off abruptly by her train of thought...

_Edward, I can smell you here brother. Let me explain._

"Go on Alice." I muttered to myself.

_I couldn't leave her alone like this! I had to be here and she wants me here. _

"This doesn't excuse your defiance Alice"

_Edward she is doing fine. She's the years have been good to her. She's beautiful!_

"She had always been beautiful Alice"

_You know what I mean Edward. She's really come into her own. There's something else..._

"Well...OUT WITH IT!" I snapped under my breathe

_Well....she's _

A cell phone rang cutting off Alice' train of thought and Bella excused herself from the living room and stepped outside. Not knowing it, she was a few feet away from me...so close. "Hello Joseph", she sounded annoyed. I could hear the husky voice on the other line muttering something as she rolled her eyes and smiled frustrated. "Joe, this is not an appropriate time for this. I just lost my dad baby please let me get through this and-"She looked so disturbed by this conversation. "No, I don't want you to come. I will discuss this with you when I'm home" She snapped the phone shut and placed her head in her hands and began to whimper."Why is it so hard to tell him I love him? Do I love him?" she paced back and forth on the porch.

_Edward, I was trying to tell you she's seeing someone_

I got that Alice, thanks.

"Why am I still thinking about you? Why can't I move one?" she asked herself. "I just want to hate you Edward, why can't I just hate you?" in frustration she threw her phone into the darkness landing at the edge of my heel. "Drat." She muttered as felt around on the ground for her phone. I don't know what came over me; maybe it was her scent or just the mere fact that I missed her. Before I could stop myself my hand was over hers, I felt the electricity pass between us and I shuddered with pleasure, _I was home. _

Bella's head snapped up and we stared into each other's eyes for what seemed like hours. She jumped up and began to walk backwards with tears in her eyes.

"No!" she shouted as she turned to run inside her home. "You are not real!"

"Bella, I'm here." She stopped in her tracks and I felt her hand across my face.

"Damn you Edward! Why now!"She rubbed her hand as she retreated towards the door.

"Bella wait!"

"NO!"

Fuck! This isn't going to be easy. Did I expect it to be?

*** Please remember to review, they make me pump out the chapter faster* **

**toodle loo! **


	6. Chapter Six: Discovery

***Ok first off, THANK YOU SO MUCH! to all the people who reviewed and put my story on alert. Another big THANK YOU for the lovely people who put me on author alert. You rock!**

*** Another story has been brewing in my head lately, its getting a bit annoying lol. I will start on that soon.**

**Ok, I hope you enjoy **

Chapter Song(S): A Stranger by A Perfect Circle

Chapter Six: Discovery

I woke with a terrible headache, the kind you get when you cry yourself to sleep. Not fun. My hand was sore and a dark purple bruise formed at the heel of my palm, great. The smell of eggs and bacon were looming in the air and I could hear Alice singing to herself downstairs. I hadn't been in my room since I left for college so finding myself wrapped tight in a quilted cocoon was a little confusing, I could have sworn I ran to my dad's room last night. I struggled to free myself from the sea of blankets and lost my balance on the tiny bed. I met the ground with a yelp and a loud thud, Alice suddenly appeared at the door wearing a Cheshire grin. "Bella, you goofy girl! I guess some things never change" she laughed as she helped me up and with one swift tug the blankets were off. "I've made breakfast for you its waiting downstairs. Why don't you get yourself cleaned up and I'll set the table." She skipped out the door and disappeared downstairs. I gathered the blankets up off the floor and noticed a small sheet of paper folded in two.

_**Bella,**_

_**I am truly sorry for frightening you last night. We need to talk, soon. **_

_**E**_

I crumpled the paper and lobbed it towards the trash can missing it entirely. I gathered my clothes from Charlie's room to take a long shower. I let the scalding water soothe my tense muscles as my mind wondered about seeing him again. _Why the hell did you slap him you idiot? What good did that do?_ I shook my head in embarrassment and wondered if he had a laugh at my expense. But what was he doing here? After all these years of silence, why did he choose now to find me again? I know that I caught myself thinking of him but was it only because I was back here? No. Truth is, I've thought about him every day since the day he left. Yes, I've moved on and went on to live my life but in the back of my mind I always kinda sorta longed for him. With that thought, I was instantly upset with myself. I realized how pathetic I've been, _I bet he didn't even think of you all those years__...__distractions, remember? _I felt the stinging in my eyes again and shook them off promising myself that I would let his presence here bother me. I decided I would be the bigger person here; I was an adult now it's high time I started carrying myself as such. I would talk to him, I would be kind and I will finally have closure.

"Wow Alice, you didn't have to do all this." The tiny kitchen table was stacked with plates of eggs, bacon, pancakes, waffles and oatmeal and I remembered how hungry I was. "I'm waiting on the cinnamon rolls they should be done in a few minutes...." she was shuffling around Charlie's tiny kitchen looking nervous avoiding eye contact, "Whoa Alice, calm down" I giggle taking in the sight of a nervous Alice. "Who are we expecting for breakfast? I can't possibly eat all this in one sitting." She stopped and looked at me with wide eyes, "Bella, I can't see what's going to happen today." I was puzzled with her choice of words as she came to sit at my side, "You are going to get a phone call in about 2 minutes and after that, you disappear from my vision. I don't know what to make of that."We stared at each other in silence for a couple of minutes but I jumped as my phone started vibrating on the table. "Its Jake" I hold up the phone show her and her eyes narrow in suspicion. "Hey Jake what's going on?" I answer still looking at Alice who is pacing around my kitchen with her fingers circling her temples. "Bells, Sam was out of patrol last night and came across a familiar scent by the Cullen's crypt. I think we may have a visitor and we want you to stay in La Push until we figure out what-" I interrupted Jake looking up at Alice and she stood in front of me with her arms crossed shaking her head disgusted."Jake, I'm fine. It's only Alice; she came to pay her respects. She is here now and we are having breakfast." I could hear Jakes breathing pick up and he muttered something too fast for me to pick up, "Bella, what is that blood sucker doing there!? I need to come and get you out of there before she tries..."

"Jacob Black! You will do no such thing! Alice Cullen in my friend and she will not hurt me" I cut him off again before he finished that sentence and I get really upset with him. Alice would never do that to me, she knew it too. She went outside to let me have some privacy, this conversation was upsetting her, I could tell.

"Bella, I don't like this. What makes you think she won't if her mate did?" I flinched at that remark trying to keep those memories out of my head. "Now you listen to me Jacob, she is here until she wants to leave. You are my friend Jake but she is too." I hated fighting with Jake, but sometimes his temper was just too much to bear. His breathing slowed and his voice was calm again, "Bells, I'm sorry. I just...it's just...well fuck dude, SHE'S A VAMPIRE!!!"He snapped out all of a sudden. "AND YOU'RE A WEREWOLF!" I yelled back not nearly as threatening but the point was made. "I am not the one trying to drink your blood though Bells." That does it, "Jake, listen up. I love you like a brother and you have been there for me and have protected me when I needed it the most. But you have to understand that she was my best friend and she is here to help me deal with this just like you are. She is not after my blood you idiot, her family is not like that. So please, give me a couple of days with her and I will go to La Push when she is gone." There was silence for a few minutes and his exhale broke the tension, "Fine Bella, but know that I can't watch over you there while a Cullen is in town. There are certain places I am not allowed to go and the other way around, please be sure to remind the filthy...err, it of those treaty guidelines" with that, he hung up the phone without a goodbye. _That was going to be fun to deal with when she left. Thank goodness I didn't tell him about Edward._

"I would never try and bite you" Alice appeared out of nowhere putting her arm around me. "I know, it's just well, Jake is a werewolf and he is a bit protective of me. Ever since Victoria came he-.."

"Wait! Back up! Did you say Victoria?" she looked horrified, oh no what did I say?

"Y yes Alice. She came after me when your family left, she tried to kill me but Jake and his pack killed her and Laurent. It wasn't a very fun time for me" I added trying to lighten the situation.

"Laurent too? They tried...oh my goodness! Bella, I am so...ugh! I told him! I told him it wasn't safe to leave" She stood up and started pacing around again with her fingers on her temples. "Ignorant pompous ass, ugh!"

"Whoa Alice, calm down. I'm still alive...see?" I pointed towards myself smiling half heartily

"Bella, my brother should have known, I should have seen..."she sat across from me with her head in her hands. "Alice, I. Am. Fine! Can we please stop this?" she peeked up at me through her lashes and gave me a quick smile. "Eat Bella, we have a lot of packing to do...I can _see"_ she said the word with a hint of bitterness, "us doing that today. If we work fast we can be packed by the end of the day"

"Alice, you don't have to help me" she shot her hand up in front of me shaking her head. "Bella, I am going to help you. I have boxes in the living room; I picked them up this morning so while you eat I am going to start on the living room." I was grateful for the help; deep down I don't think I could have done it without her. "I called the storage and moving company also, they will be coming for the furniture tomorrow morning so..."

"Alice, you could rule the world if you wanted too." I giggled at her martyred expression. She playfully narrowed her eyes at me and walked to the living room. I finished my breakfast, grabbed some boxes and made my way up to my room. The day stretched on and I found myself sitting around books and clothes. I boxed the books, pictures and various knick knacks. I wondered if my apartment would have room for all of it. The clothes were going in the trash along with almost everything on the walls. Five o'clock rolled around and Alice came into the room offering me some pizza she took the liberty of ordering. "You are taking such good care of me Alice...thank you" she smiled at me and gave me a long hug, "Bella, it's the least I could do. Go and eat!" she said as she playfully smacked my butt. I looked around downstairs and it was completely bare. The furniture was together in the middle of the living room and the boxes her neatly stacked by threes against the wall. Same for the kitchen, "Alice, wow! You work fast!" she giggled, "All that's left is your dad's room. Did you want to do that?" I shook my head, "Can you help me? I don't think..."

"Of course!" she chimed. "Bella, about last night...I am sorry my brother showed up. Judging by your reaction, it wasn't his greatest idea. But not his worst" She muttered to herself. "Alice, it's ok. I overreacted. But you are right, it wasn't a good idea startling me like that." She shrugged her shoulders and tried to look innocent, which was working, "So...you're not mad that he's here?" Remembering the promise I made to myself I squared my shoulders and gave her a smile. "No. He is sweet for paying his respects. I hope he is well. Tell him I said thank you." This answer didn't satisfy her. "He came to see how you were doing." My mind raced to quickly change the subject, "Hey Alice, how about we shopping tomorrow? After the movers I mean. I was planning on making this a week long thing but since we are practically done, I can leave earlier. I'm sure we can squeeze in some shopping time before though." I hated shopping but anything to stop talking about him. "Um, ok shopping? Wow Bella I'm shocked." She looked at me suspiciously but shook it off agreeing with me before I could change my mind. I got up and went to my room to finish up. "I'll be in Charlie's room sorting his clothes, I won't touch the pictures and paperwork, I will leave that to you." Alice walked into Charlie's room and closed the door. I walked into my room flipping on the light; there was another note on my bed. _Geez._

_**Bella,**_

_**May I call on you tomorrow?**_

_**E.**_

I folded the paper and placed it in the trash can. _No_, I thought to myself. I wasn't going to let this happen. I opened the door to my closet and pulled out a black trash bag, heavy but poked with tiny holes where the sharp edges tore through. The radio from my old truck, great. I tossed it into a pile of trash by the door; I lost my step and stumbled over a loose floorboard. "Fucking fabulous!" I examined my palms again and now there would be two bruises. The floorboard shifted from its place, shiny paper was hidden beneath the board. I moved the board and fell on my bottom gasping at my find.

There, covered in dust, were my birthday presents from that day. I picked up the two presents and examined a particular one. "If I had been more careful with you, this wouldn't have happened" I laughed to myself, _talking to inanimate objects...nice!_ On the bottom of the presents was a thick envelope. I gathered my finding and made my way to the bed. I popped the c-d into the player beside the bed and the music began, tears were suddenly streaming down my face as I recognized the envelope. Inside were pictures of us. There was a letter paper clipped to the last picture in his beautiful script.

_**I will love you for as long as I exist**__**.**_

I felt this surge of anger flow through me and I turned off the music in middle of the lullaby. I stalked to the window hesitant to look out. It was dark out making it impossible to see the forest. I opened the window and knelt over the ledge. "I know you're there, I can feel you here."

"Does this mean you are finally agreeing to talk to me?" He stood by the closed door with his hands in his pocket wearing his crooked smile I used to love so much.

"We need to talk?" I said sounding more like a question than a statement.

"I agree Bella, but I have one question before we begin..."He ran his hand through is hair not taking his burning eyes off me, making me nervous, "Will you slap me again?"

_Here we go..._

***I hope you enjoyed this. Next update will be on saturday. Please review! :) toodle loo**


	7. Chapter Seven: Explain Yourself

***This is probably the longest chapter in this story (now that I'm looking at all of its chapters). I intended it to be long because I couldn't bear to cut anything out. I think the entire conversation between E&B is very important to the story, so do me a favor and listen to the chapter songs. Doesn't even have to be while you're reading it but at some point check them out. They depressed me enough to write this (lol) **

***Seriously, A BIG THANK YOU! To all the awesome people who reviewed and put my story on alert. Ya'll rock!! ( I was going to post this on Friday but FanFiction was being impossible)**

***I hope you enjoy this…here goes nothing!**

***Lemon Tease in this chapter…be patient. Rated M for a reason yo. **

Chapter Song: Everything Changes by Staind and Swans by Unkle Bob

Chapter seven: Explain Yourself

_All conservatism is based upon the idea that if you leave things alone you leave them as they are. But you do not. If you leave a thing alone you leave it to a torrent of change._

_G. K. Chesterton_

Edward POV:

"Did she really slap me?" I saw her face for in that instant when she took in mine. Fear, confusion and for some reason…relief. She darted into the house and I started to follow. Alice stood blocking the doorway with narrowed eyes, "Let her be for now Edward." _You went about that all wrong brother! _I knew this but I couldn't help myself. Seeing her there, I lost my self for a moment. Her face brought me back to that familiar feeling of home. _Let her gather her thoughts or she will say or do something rash._ "Alice, I need to see her." She shook her head and crossed her arms flexing her tiny muscles with a look that was meant to intimidate, it probably would have if I were any other person. "You have done enough _seeing_ for tonight Edward, go back home and I will follow when she is sleeping." Bella sleeping, what I wouldn't give to have her in my arms again. "Fine Alice." I patted the top of her head; she huffed and turned swiftly into the house.

I paced around the house hearing the desperate cries coming from inside. Alice was with her comforting her and I was jealous. Jealous at the fact that I couldn't be there holding my only love, jealous she was dating a man that wasn't me. I meant for her to live her life and be happy but why was this killing me inside? Why now? I guess whenever I thought of Bella; I pictured the beautiful, naïve teenager I once knew. The selfish child in me never thought of her as an older woman, never thought about her touching another man, loving him like she did me. Two hours later Alice comes outside staring intently at me, "You need to make things right with her, she is broken right now Edward. She misses her father and is conflicted with her feelings about this Joseph character and you."She grabbed the lapels of my coat and shoved me closer to her, "MAKE IT RIGHT! Even if that means you have to say goodbye, I hate seeing her this way."

"Have you seen her future Alice? Peeked?" I asked desperate at the fact that letting go once again would have be an option I might have to take again. "Only flickers, nothing that stands out. I see me helping her tomorrow and maybe a shopping trip but I really don't know." She wrapped her arm around mine and led the way to the house. "Alice, you go on without me. I need to hunt" She looked at me with suspicion but shrugged it off. "Fine. Go hunt, your eyes are black."Alice began walking again, "Do not wake her Edward. Let her rest, she is going to need it" _You can't fool me brother._ Sometimes, Alice' gift was a bit irritating. After picking off a couple of deer I scaled the side of Bella's home, she wasn't in her room and I panicked for a moment thinking she might be awake. The sound of her gentle breathing soothed me; she had fallen asleep in Charlie's room. I sat in the metal chair against the door staring at my reason for existence. Her hair was swept across her face gentle waves cascading across the pillow, I was jealous of the pillow. _Are you hearing yourself man! Get it together fool!_ I walked slowly towards the bed and her breathing picked up slightly. It was like she sensed me in this room. I knelt down beside her and breathed in her scent. _Familiar, home._ She looked restless even in her sleep, her arms extending outward as she mumbled incoherently into the pillow. I made the decision to take her to her own room; I thought maybe it was the room, his scent that was disturbing her slumber.

I picked her up and her arms quickly wrapped around my neck. For an instant, I thought she had awoken but her breathing remained steady. She settled her head onto my shoulder and hummed a sigh as she inhaled my skin. She was calm, I loved this. I walked slowly into her room savoring each moment I had with her in my arms again. Her arms gripped around me tighter and she mumbled into my neck, "You were never that far away" as she lightly kissed my neck and settled into a light snore. I set her down gently on her bed, grabbing the quilt folded on the foot of her bed and wrapping the blanket tightly around her. Her bed was cold but familiar but she seemed happier in her sleep. I watched her throughout the night, studying her face again noticing the subtle changes the years had made. Her perfect plump lips slightly parted, I imagined them on mine. Her face was elegant, graceful almost. A natural beauty that was rare, even for a human. My pinky grazed her forehead and trailed down to the tip of her tiny nose, the cool touch of my skin made her stir. The hours past and she was in a deep sleep. I lay on the floor of her room staring up at the ceiling trying to remember why I left in the first place. I mentally kicked myself remembering the words I spoke to her that day. I was truly a monster.

Morning came and Alice broke me from the trance I was in, "She will be awake in about 15 minutes, maybe you should leave." She darted from the room giving me a cold look. _I will not see her hurt again Edward. It hurts too much to see you both suffering. _I grabbed a piece of paper from her desk and penned a short apology to my beloved. I didn't have the guts to stay, I'm not sure she would accept me being here like that, again. _Edward, don't linger for too long. If she sees you she will go into hysterics again. Give her some time._ I went downstairs to meet Alice in the kitchen and she was standing over the stove talking to Jasper on the cell. "I am going to help you today. Do not argue with me Alice." She nodded sternly at me and held up one finger to silence me further. "Jasper, I see myself here until at least Thursday. If you want, you could come down here if you miss me that much." She giggled into the phone at something he said, something I chose to ignore. She said her goodbyes and turned towards me pulling me into a tight hug. "Thank you for coming, I can see your conversation happening…"I looked down at her eager for her to continue. "Oh shit!"She squealed, "What just happened? I can't see anything! My entire day is wiped." Alice looked up at me stunned. At that moment, we heard the bed creak and a loud thud coming from Bella's room. "That would be our girl." I chuckled as Alice walked up the stairs. _Make yourself scarce! _

I came back about 30 minutes later to Alice pacing outside frustrated, when she sensed I was near she began her frantic thoughts. "Edward, thank goodness you are here. Bella has befriended a werewolf and I think that is why I can't see her." She grabbed her spiky hair pulling on it annoyed, "He is insisting on picking her up, I will not have that!" she hissed between her teeth. "That filthy mutt" I muttered to myself. "She must know how dangerous these dogs can be!" Alice spoke sounding alarmingly frantic. "Calm yourself Alice, go back inside and tend to Bella, I am going to make a phone call to Carlisle to tell him about this" Alice darted into the house again. I didn't want to but I knew that telling my father about this would help as far as the treaty went. _No answer, he's probably in surgery right now. _I leave him a quick detailed account of everything that was going on and walked back toward Bella's home.

_Brother!!!!!!!Did you just hear what Bella said? Victoria?! HERE!!!! _

What!_ According to Bella, Victoria and Laurent came after her and those wolves hunted them down and killed them off. Victoria was trying to kill Bella for vengeance. Mate for mate. Ugh Edward! The thought of them after her…poor Bella. She must have felt so frightened and alone. It is our fault; I should have seen this coming. You should have known it was inevitable. Victoria wasn't going to let it go that easy. We failed Bella, Edward. _Alice was right, we did. How could I have been so blind? I would make this right, damn them, they got what they deserved and I was grateful to the dogs…for that at least. Keeping her safe, when I couldn't…or wouldn't. This news made me feel empty, how could I have left her alone? I left her to save her and if those mutts hadn't been there…I couldn't even bring myself to think of that. The thought alone made me sick to my stomach.

Later that day Alice and I quickly separated and packed the entire downstairs living area in a matter of minutes. I took in all the pictures aligned on top of the fireplace. Bella's senior prom, her graduation and random pictures of that mongrel Jake and her during the years. I wished I had been a part of that; I would have given anything to see her cross the stage on graduation. Even escort her to her prom…_I wonder how many times Mike Newton begged Bella to go to prom with him._ The sadness in her eyes twisted in my gut. "I am going to order a pizza for her, she hasn't eaten all day." Alice spoke as she looked up at the ceiling to where Bella's room was. "All these memories Alice, I missed. Important stepping stones, decisions she made. I wasn't here for that." I felt the guilt twist in my chest like a knife. "I told her lies that were cruel and unfounded, she will never forgive me." I felt Alice' hand on my shoulder, "Edward, you did what you thought was right at the time, I didn't agree with it but you will do what you want. Now, life has changed and Bella grew up. I am sure she does not harbor any resentment towards you." _But you might have to move a mountain in order for her to put her trust in you again._ I knew this. It would take effort and time, time I had.

When Bella came down for dinner I hid in her room, it was bare with the exception of her bed. I penned another note and left it on the bed again. I paced around outside feeling like a stalker. I heard her enter her room a little while later her lullaby played. I felt the pain in my chest again; I needed her like the air she breathed. I missed her. The music abruptly stopped and the window opened, "I know you're there, I can feel you here." I raced up into the house and darted up the stairs into her room in a flash, I couldn't contain myself at the sight of her. She was slightly bent over the ledge of her window. Her round perfect butt testing the limits of her shorts; I had to admit, Bella's body was perfect. A figure of a grown woman perfectly proportioned, don't get me wrong…Bella has always had a beautiful figure. Everything about her was perfect to me. But now, soft curves suited her. _This is not proper you idiot. _"Does this mean you are finally agreeing to talk to me?" I spoke out loud breaking me away from my boyish fantasies, keeping my hands in my pockets to distract myself from the idea of running and scooping her in my arms. She spun around quickly lifting herself up off her knees as her hair fell down her back and draped around her shoulders. _Beautiful Bella. _"We need to talk?" she said in an uneven tone.

"I agree Bella, but I have one question before we begin..." attempting to lighten the situation I poked fun of her a bit "Will you slap me again?" She looked at me like I had gone mad but composed herself. Squaring her shoulders she let out a sharp breathe and motioned to me to sit. Nothing prepared me for what happened next.

Bella POV:

His eyes never left my face, even as he took a seat on the edge of my bed. I stood there by the window shifting my weight from foot to foot staring at my intertwined fingers. "You didn't answer my question Bella." He finally spoke breaking the awkward silence between us. I don't know what got into me but when I heard my name roll off his tongue the knot in my stomach went away and calm overcame me. Having him sit there in front of me didn't feel as bad as I thought, it felt familiar and comfortable. The next thing I knew I pummeled him, I was surprised at myself and he was too. Edward let out a shocked gasp when he found himself under me. "Bella? What…what are you…"My lips crashed onto his cutting off his questioning and I knew it was only a matter of time before he would pull me off of him but his lips met mine with the same frantic hunger. His hands gently skimmed up my thighs making their way up to my hips past my waist and tangled into my hair…so he wasn't going to fight this. He let out a soft sigh as his mouth parted slightly to my tongue gently tracing his. His fingers of one hand traced the hollow of my neck up to my chin as his other flexed into my tangled mess of hair pulling me closer to him. He was not being gentle…not like I remembered. _What are you doing!!!?!? Are you insane?_ I opened my eyes slowly meeting his burning gaze. I gasped and jumped off him in one swift instant. He got up slowly never losing eye contact, he looked…relieved. "I shouldn't have done that Edward. I am so sorry." With my head still spinning I took a seat by the old rocking chair next to the open window, fresh air would help. "Bella, don't be sorry."Edward knelt down by the chair taking my hands in his, "The last thing I want to hear from you is your apologies. Bella, I…"

"No. Edward, don't. My behavior was inexcusable, it was a mistake." I felt so stupid for doing that, I truly did. I missed him and breathing him in again felt like home, but this wasn't my home anymore. Traitor tears streamed down my face as I felt cool hands wipe them from my cheeks. I moved my head from his touch as my hands pushed him away. I got up and began pacing back and forth watching him still kneeling by the chair. "Edward, what is it you want? What are you here for?" I decided, given my behavior before, this wasn't the time for beating around the bush. "You…I mean, See What I'm trying to say is…well," he stayed kneeling away from me looking out the window. In a way, I was glad he didn't look at me, if his face showed any sign of suffering I think I would have melted into his arms again. I couldn't have that. He cut me deep, metaphorically of course, but the wound was till healing. As sad as that is, five years later I still hurt just as bad as the first day. "I wanted to check on you, to see how you were handling your father's…um, death."He cleared his throat straightening up still looking out the window. "I missed you Bella. I have been missing you and I took this opportunity to come and see if…"

"If what Edward? If I would take you back with open arms? If I were here waiting for you?" My anger was uncontrollable now, my blood was boiling. "It has been five years Edward."His name came out of my mouth with bitterness that surprised even me. "What did you expect to find? Huh? Did you expect to find me here still pining for you?" Little did he know I did that from Boston, quietly. "It would be as if I never existed…remember? I wasn't good for you, do you remember? Because I do!" The tears were now gushing blurring my vision. I stopped my rant to calm myself and continued to pace back and forth in front of him. "Bella, those words were lies. I left to protect you, I know now it was a worthless effort. It killed me to leave you my love. I was at war with myself for all those years, wanting to come back but I knew…well, it wouldn't have been right or easy. But I don't care anymore; I need you in my life. I love…"my hand shot up to stop his words, the words I hoped to hear every day for five years. Now, they held no meaning to me, they couldn't…I wouldn't let them. "Lies Edward? Is that your excuse? You left me so easy all those years ago. Well, let me ask you this then, why was it so hard to decide whether or not you wanted to come back? At war with yourself? Do me a favor then, make peace with yourself and know that I am happy now, without you." I gasped at the words I had just spoken and rushed to the leave. I stopped in front of the door and tried to contain the tears that rolled down my cheeks. I had to lie, just like he did. Truth is, I loved him more than words could ever express. He needed to feel the hurt I felt…feel.

A cool gust of wind sent chills down my spine as I noticed one of his hands on the door and his other on my shoulder. I looked up at his face, that beautiful face I dreamt of to this day. Edward looked as if I burned him alive, I hated him in pain and regretted instantly my previous thoughts of hurting him further. He moved in front of me and placed his hands on either side of my face. I felt my shoulders slump as I melted to his touch. "Beautiful Bella…you are a horrible liar." This angered me, was he not taking me seriously. Before I could argue his lips were on mine. "St Stop" I whispered against his mouth, he moved his tongue gently down my neck kissing the wet trail he left behind. I pushed away stepping back disoriented and he followed watching warily. "Leave or I will." I looked up as he stepped back hesitantly. "Bella, I don't think you understand what I am trying to say." I stood up and folded my arms across my chest narrowing my eyes at his beautiful face._ Be strong, you cannot roll over that easy. Be strong Bella, BE STRONG!_ "You are saying you are sorry and it was in my best interest, am I correct?" He looked to the ground running his hands through his disheveled hair; I wanted so much to take him in my arms and try to erase the time we had spent apart but I couldn't. "Bella, please listen to me. I love you; I have loved you and will always love you. I realize my leaving was a mistake. I should have…been there.

Bella, I just want to make this right. I want you."He uncrossed my arms and moved me to the bed seating me next to him. His fingers drew tiny circles in the palm of my hand, "Can you please let me make amends Bella?" The very idea of being close to him again scared the shit out of me, the image of Joseph appeared in my mind and this flood of guilt washed over me. "Edward, I'm dating someone. What I did…with you, was a mistake." I Lied. "Joseph doesn't deserve this."_Be strong._ His face looked pained as I continued, "I will always love you…in a way" I repeated the words he spoke to me in the woods, an outright lie. _I do love you! _My inner voice screamed. His expression was tortured; I looked away quickly when his gaze met mine. He was right, I was a bad liar but I couldn't do this with him, I could not afford to have my heart broken…After all, how many times can a heart be mangled and still be expected to keep beating? "I think you are lying, I've hear you in your sleep. The look in your eyes when we touch I know you want me too. Bella we belong together, at least let me try to make it right."

"You can't make it right. It's done and in the past, please…leave."

"Bella please understand I never meant..."

"YOU BROKE MY FUCKING HEART!!!" I screamed taking in the shocked expression on his face.

"That's enough!" Alice came in glaring at Edward, "Edward, I think it's time for you to go home now. Bella's been through enough." I ran out of the room darted down the stairs taking them two at a time until I stumbled and tripped in front of the door. I began to cry, gasping for air in between my wailing. I could not believe I said that to him, I will never see him again after this. Why did I care though? I felt so stupid and wrong. Alice appeared and gripped me in a tight embrace; we were both sitting on the floor as she rocked me back and forth in comfort. I woke up on the sofa with my head on her lap and "I am going home Alice, tomorrow. I cannot be here anymore."She sighed as she played with the strands of my hair, "I can't be here with him. It hurts too much…"

"Bella," Alice stopped twirling my hair as I sat up to bring my knees to my stomach, "Do you still love my brother?" I started to shake as I dropped my head to my knees feeling the tears forming in my eyes again.

"Yes, with everything that is in me but he has hurt me deeply. I've moved on Alice and I need to get back to my life. This is not my home…"

***I update this story every saturday but since I am of until tuesday this week I will update again for I go back.**

***Reviews are welcomed and greatly appreciated :) **

**toodle loo!**


	8. Chapter Eight: Girls Night

***Thank you yet again to everyone who takes time out to review my chapters…Everyone's opinion is greatly appreciated! **

***This is probably one of my 2****nd**** favorite chapter only because of the bar scene. **** The music that inspired that whole scene will be mentioned in this chapter, keep in mind that the bar scene was a real life scenario I am blushing at the thought of reliving. Lmao oh well, art imitates life…at least it does for me **

***Girls outfits are on my profile. Ch ch ch check it out! ;) **

***I am not Stephenie Meyer…I am just Stephanie. I do not own twilight or its characters (I am simply bending them to my will for a smidge) **

Chapter Song(S): Silly Boy by Rihanna ft Lady Gaga & Hussel by M.I.A

Chapter Eight: Girls night

"_Bella, I don't want you to come with me."_

"_You don't want me?"_

"_No."_

"_Well, that changes things…"_

"_Of course, I'll always love you…in a way."_

_I'll always love you in a way. The words echoed over and over in my head _

"_I'm tired of pretending to be something I'm not Bella, I am not human, I've let this go on much too long and I'm sorry for that."_

"_Don't…don't do this"_

"_You're not good for me Bella."_

_You're not good for me Bella_

_You're not good for me Bella_

_You're not good for me Bella_

Someone was banging on my door relentlessly waking me from that terrible dream. I didn't get a chance to process what happened last night. I was proud of myself for handling it the way I had, for a moment I thought I was going to give in. I really did, I miss him so much but the craziness has to stop. I needed to stop with the pining. I'm young and I should stop acting like a spinster. Where was Alice? I looked out the window and the sun was shining brightly outside, weird for a January. Maybe I upset her last night, I really hope that wasn't the last time I'd hear from her. **BANG! BANG! BANG! **"Open the door bitch!! It's cold out here!"_Oh my gosh…I'd know that voice from anywhere._

"Roxanne really, Must you yell?" the tiny voice whispered, "It's 8 in the morning."

"I wouldn't yell Khloe if little miss would OPEN THE DOOR!!" **BANG! BANG! BANG!**

"I've tried calling her phone Roxy, straight to voicemail." the third girl chimed in.

"Oh for fucks sake, it's cold out here! BELLA!!" **BANG! BANG! BANG!**

I walked to the door with a biggest grin spread across my face._ Oh thank god! _

"Who is making all that racket!!?" I yelled as I swung the door open squealing with delight.

"OH BELLA!"

"Bella Face!"

"Fucking Isabella Swan!"

There they stood, in all their glory…my best friends Roxanne, Khloe and Vanessa. I was so glad to see them.

"Aww you guys! What are you doing here? " I felt the tears building behind my eyes. I met the girls during rush my freshman year; we were all pledges to Sigma Alpha Epsilon. We had become the best of friends and remained so even after graduation. Khloe was in Law School in Stafford, Vanessa was a curator for the Guggenheim in New York and Roxanne was the assistant editor of Vogue Magazine. We always made time for each other especially during birthdays and holidays, we were each other's family. "Well, Bella we found out about Charlie's death through your assistant. Now tell me this Babe, why in the hell did I have to find out about you dads death from your assistant?!?" Roxanne, the tall, leggy red head glared at me with an expression that meant pain, she was a firecracker. "What are we Babes? Chopped liver? Are we not your familia!?" Vanessa, looked at me with those wide bambi eyes of hers that killed me, in some ways...she reminded me of a human Alice. "I'm sorry girls," hugging Khloe, my blonde Kate Hudson look alike, "I needed to do this myself, you know how I am…" I looked down as my lip started to tremble and the tears fell. Roxanne pulled me from Khloe and squeezed me tightly, my face suffocated by her ginormous breast, "Um, Roxy…I can't breathe woman!" I started to giggle as she pushed me back wiping my tears; "I'm sorry honey" she stares down at her newly bought D cups, "They sometimes have a mind of their own. Do you like?" She lifted her shirt to show them off and I quickly covered my eyes blushing a deep crimson. "Oh my god Roxanne! I swear!" Khloe smacked the back of her head, "Must you flash everyone? I swear you're like a monkey at the zoo, quick to show off your goods" Everyone laughed at Roxy as she playfully narrowed her eyes at the blonde pixie. "Well Khloe, don't be sour now, I offered you a pair for Christmas and you declined…do I smell jealousy?" Khloe rolled her eyes as she took her jacket off pointed to her chest, "I am perfectly fine with what I was blessed with, you plastic spastic…" Those two girls where so good at distracting me from myself. "Ok ladies enough!"Vanessa steps in, "Khloe let Roxy buy you some tits and Roxy…ever hear of a bra?" laughter erupted as Khloe folded her arms trying to fight a smile. "No really Bella, we are family lovey! We need to be here for you!" Vanessa pulled me into a hug, next thing I knew all four of us where in a group hug in the middle of the hallway.

"Enough of this sentimental crap, Bella we are taking you to breakfast!" Roxanne pulled back as she wiped her tears, "I need to get ready and I look a fright." I walked up the stairs as they followed with their bags in hand. "Looks like you've done all your packing huh?" Khloe said as she eyed the hallway full of boxes. "Yeah my friend Alice and I did it all yesterday, the quicker I get this done the sooner I can go home." Vanessa hugged my arm tightly and gave me a wink as we continued into Charlie's now empty room. "You guys can share this bed, I'm sorry but I was just cleaning everything out" Roxanne interrupted me with a kiss on the cheek, "No worries Babe, this is fine. Khloe can sleep on the floor." She winked at Khloe who rolled her eyes and flicked her off. "Ooooh Mistress Khloe, not very Emily Post of you." I went to my room and changed my clothes as the girls got themselves settled in the other room. I turned on my phone secretly hoping Joseph wouldn't have called or text. _Dammit! _Four text messages and two voicemails waiting…

_**Message #1 12:01 am 1/07 Joseph: Bella, Look…I am sorry.**_

_**Message #2 12:30 1/07: God damn it Bella! I hate when you shut your phone off! **_

_Oh fuck you dude._

_**Message #3 12:45 am 1/07: I just want to know that you love me. **_

_This is getting annoying already. But is shouldn't right? _

_**Message #4 2pm 1/07: Izzy, turn on your fucking phone!!!!!!**_

_Excuse me?_

**New voicemail, January 7****th**** 12:05 am: "Izzy how was your day? I missed you and I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry. I love you and I can't wait to see you when you get home. Bye."**

**New voicemail, January 7****th**** 2:30 pm: "Alright Isabella, I give up. You call me when you get into town; I'm tired of waiting on you. You are stringing me along here when I could very easily be looking for someone who wants me. You are playing with my heart here!!I'm tired of the games!"**

_Fucking jerk!_ I dial his number trying to control the shaking, on the fifth ring a woman answers.

_What the…?_

"Hello?" the shrilling voice picked up the phone giggling.

"Uh yeah, is Joseph there? Who…who is this?"

"Who wants to know?"Her voice was so annoying.

"I want to know! This is girlfriend, Bella. Give him the phone please."

There was silence for a minute and she started giggling again, ugh!

"I'm sorry Beatrice, he's asleep right now, I'll tell him you…"her words were interrupted by her annoying giggles as she hung up the phone.

I stared at the screen of my phone for a minute waiting for my reaction, waiting to cry or be angry or even slam my phone against the wall. There was nothing. It should have bothered me, it should have broken my heart but I found myself a bit relieved. That was bad, did I even love him? If I cared about him so much I should have cared that a woman was answering his phone. What was wrong with me? I shook it off gathering my things for a bath when my phone rang again, I looked at the screen and it was a number I didn't recognize.

"Hello?"

"Good morning sweetheart!!" Alice' chipper voice chimed on the other end.

"Hi Alice. Good morning to you too, how did you get this number?"

"It was on Charlie's notepad in his room." she sang her response "So; your friends are in town I was wondering if they would be accompanying us on our shopping trip?"

Shit! I forgot about that.

"I already see them with us so I'm taking your silence as a yes"

"Yes Alice." I grinned at her cheerfulness

"Perfect! I will be there in 30 minutes be ready!" the other line went dead and I rolled my eyes at the idea of shopping with Alice and Roxanne…great. I threw my phone on the desk and noticed another note on my bed. It was folded into a heart and sat in the middle of the bed.

_**Bella, **_

_**Please accept my apologies for my behavior last night, my forwardness was inexcusable. **_

_**We still have something there Bella; I know you feel it too.**_

_**We are not done yet… **_

_**I love you. **_

_**Always have, always will. **_

_**E**_

I held the note to my chest crumpling it as I remembered all that went on last night. What had gotten into me? One look at his perfect face and I was stumbling over myself and him like a teenager. I threw the paper into the trash, making it this time and went to take a shower. When I came downstairs Alice stood there surrounded by the girls all chatting excitedly about the upcoming shopping trip. "I see you've already met" I looked at Alice whose hand was on Roxanne's shoulder. Roxanne looked at her as if she had known her forever. "Bella, you didn't tell me you were friends with Alice Brandon!" _Huh? Alice Brandon? _"No, I didn't know…"I was confused. "Yes yes! Bella and I went to high school together for a while; she dated my brother for a spell." They all looked over at me and then back at her. "Alice works at Vogue with me, she's an intern. I love her!" Roxanne squealed as Alice looked at me and winked, "You don't look a day over eighteen Alice! How do you do it?" Khloe asked. "Hydrate! Hydrate! Hydrate!" Alice giggled. "So, I was thinking we could go to Seattle for a ladies day! Spa treatments and shopping! Then afterward we can party it up!" Alice bounced up and down looking at me with pleading eyes. "Fine Alice. Since I'm leaving Thursday I guess we can." She nodded and led me upstairs to pack.

"Alice Brandon?" I looked at her suspiciously as she sorted through my suitcase. "Yeah, I found out that during my human years, I was known as Mary Alice Brandon. After what James said in the video I had to find out more about myself…long story." She rolled her eyes as she rifled through my clothes, "ooooh Bella cute shoes and this shirt! I must say your fashion sense has improved!" I laughed as I lay on the bed watching her organize my mess. "We need to talk Bella" she muttered, "What happened last night, well, I heard everything." I sighed playing with my ring, "of course you did" I finally muttered.

"Well Bella, I see you guys talking it out. I see a lot of things actually."She muttered to herself as she went to sit by me. "I see you together and …"my heart jumped at that thought, would I forgive him? I don't feel it. I lifted my hand to cut her off and she huffed glaring at me, "Alice I don't think so. You visions are subjective remember? Just like you saw me becoming one of you…"I flinched at the memory, "Things change, maybe you saw it last night when I kissed him but –"she raised finger to her mouth to shush me.

"Kissed who?! Bella are you being a whore?" Roxanne came in and laid herself across my bed, Alice giggled. "No one Roxy" she shook her head putting her hand over my mouth, "Nu uh girl spill it. CHLOE! VANESSA! Get up here Bella's been a whore!" Alice started to laugh again and the sound of high heels stomped up the stairs. "Now…spill it!" Alice shook her head and sighed dramatically, "Bella kissed my brother yesterday." The girls all whistled and hooted, "But what about Joseph?" Khloe asked, "I thought you guys? I don't know, I thought you guys were serious?" Roxanne rolled her eyes and looked at me. "It was a mistake Khloe; it was a knee jerk reaction."Vanessa snorted as she rolled her eyes and threw herself on top of Roxanne," GEEZ Bella I wish I have reactions like that, what's his name?" I sighed as I looked over to Alice, "Edward" I muttered and all three mouths dropped. "Not that Edward?" Roxanne asked, I nodded my head as Vanessa coughed and Khloe shook her head. "Edward who's death we've been plotting?" Khloe snapped. Alice looked over to her and winced a tight smile her direction, I caught her stare as I patted Khloe's shoulder, "Khloe has always had a flair for the dramatic." I smiled at Alice as her expression relaxed. "I'm sorry Alice, I'm being rude. It's just, well, you should have seen Bella. She was a wreck our freshman year. I heard it was worse here before she left for college." Khloe placed her head on my shoulder rubbing my hand, "It has taken a very long time for Bella to finally come out of her shell, I'd hate for her to crawl back in it" I rolled my eyes thinking about that shell I was supposed to be out of, it didn't seem like a bad place to be now with all these eyes staring at me. "I can see Bella is doing better, I'm glad she has friends like you." Alice smiled politely; "Now, the day is wasting…LETS SHOP LADIES!" she patted my knee and closed the suitcase.

The whole day was spent in different boutiques and shoe stores. Alice fit right in with my friends; I trailed behind them with my arms crossed working on an excuse to go back to the hotel and sleep. My mind wondered how Jacob was; I was missing my father a lot. A part of me just wanted to go home and sit alone in the house with a bottle of Jack. Don't get me wrong though, I was happy my friends where here, I just don't know how to handle this right. The sun was setting as I sat on the balcony smoking a cigarette. My hair was in huge rollers and my makeup was done. The couple in the suite next to us looked at me puzzled as I smiled at them. _Oh shit, I'm just in a bra and boy shorts. _I blushed as Alice slid the door open scolding me for being outside. "You will catch a cold like that Bella! You have a beautiful body woman we know this but this is not the weather for sun bathing." I rolled my eyes as she took the cigarette from my mouth and dropped it in the toilet, "Not healthy Isabella!" I stuck my tongue out at her. It was after nine when everyone was finally ready. I stayed in the restroom fighting with the strap on my heel. "Hurry your ass up Bella! I need a martini!" Roxanne pounded on the door; I could smell her perfume even with a closed door. "Yuck Roxy what are you wearing…you reek!" I heard stifled giggles from the room as she huffed and banged on the door, "Its J'Adore by Dior…jerk" I opened the door and they whooped and hollered making me blush instantly. "Wow Bella! I'm impressed! You've got wicked style girl!" That was weird coming from Alice. "Thanks" I giggled as I pirouetted squealing as Roxanne slapped my ass, "Let's get going ladies!" We ate sushi and knocked back shots of sake, I wondered where Alice was hiding her food. They were wrapped up in conversation as I poked my sushi with a chopstick, I wondered where Edward was. I knew he was here somewhere; he is nothing if not persistent. I eyed Alice as she looked at me and shrugged innocently, I excused myself to the restroom with her tailing me. "What's up Bella?" Alice looked concerned as she flipped a strand of hair off my face. "Is Edward here Alice?" she looked smug as she fought a smile, "No Bella, he is back in Forks." I narrowed my eyes at her and she giggled rolling her eyes. "Bella, you and I know my brother, he's in the hotel. He will not bother you Bella. He promised."

The night went on as we hailed a cab to our next destination, I was already buzzing a bit from the multiple shots of sake but the numbing effect was welcomed. "Contour on 1st street please." Slipping a twenty to the cabbie he winked at her and she giggled. The club was laid back and the line was ridiculous! "Alice by the time we get in…"she snorted and led the way to the door, she whispered in the bouncer's ear and he smiled at her opening the velvet ropes to let us ladies in. I looked back and she slipped him what looked like a hundred dollars. The music was thumping as my buzz was in full effect, "OOOOH I love this song! Dance with me Bella!" Vanessa squealed as Enur came on. I remembered how much she loved that song; she programmed her ringer with it annoying everyone. She danced around with Alice motioning me to join, "I need a shot first V." Roxanne brought a shot glass full of whiskey to my nose laughing, "No excuses lady!" I downed the shot cringing as it burned down my throat, I sat there for about twenty minutes rotating between shots of whisky and sips of beer feeling the alcohol numb my senses, by the time I knew it I was giggling to myself."I think you're about ready woman!" Khloe took the beer bottle from me; I was pushed onto the dance floor as _Let it Rock_ thumped the speakers. "I love that song guys!" I giggled into Alice' ear as I let my body move to the beat. The next thing I knew it was two in the morning and I was dancing on the bar with my new friend John and his boyfriend Greg. _Hot 'N Cold _came on as the D.J. announced last call; John started singing pulling me into this song and dance in front of a small crowd. Alice and Roxanne where laughing and clapping in encouragement as Khloe stood by the bar trying to talk me off while Vanessa was flirting with the D.J. in his booth. Greg started taking off his clothes and rubbing against John and the crowd grew louder with the whistling and clapping. I started to lift my shirt when a pair of cool hands brushed against my waist stopping me instantly, "Bella, let's go home already."I shook my head and slurred into Alice's ear "I don't want to go back. I'm partying with my mister sisters!" I hugged John as he kissed my cheek. "Bella, come on now, time for bed" She grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the club into the waiting cab.

"Where are the ladies?"

"Roxy and Khloe went back to the hotel ten minutes ago and Vanessa wanted to stay with the D.J." I rolled my eyes and snickered. "Vanessa will be Vanessa." I placed my head on Alice's shoulder as she patted my knee gently. "Alice, why can't I get over your brother? Why?" I started to cry. "Oh Bella, your drunk sweetie let's get you in bed."I shook my head and grabbed her arm as tight as I could. "I'm serious Alice, Why is it so hard to stop loving him? I've tried! For five years!"

"Bella, you and my brother are two very difficult people." she laughs to herself while playing with a loose string in her coat. "You still want each other Bella, I can see that, why can't you just listen to what he has to say?" She stared at me with pleading eyes, "Talk things out Bella." I nodded as I closed my eyes and rested my head on her shoulder again. "I love him Alice…" I was in and out of consciousness when we arrived at the hotel. I could feel cool hands pick me up from the cab and cradle me in their arms. "Hmmm Alice, You smell like good." I slurred into their neck. I felt a low chuckle from their chest as I nestled closer. I opened my eyes slightly to see Alice walking next to me grinning as she spoke on the phone. I was too tired to look up at who was carrying me; I let my heavy lids droop as hands curled around me tighter. I felt by body against a soft billowy mattress, I looked up the face whose hands still wrapped around my waist. _Oh Edward._ "Hmmm, stay…" I pulled him close to me his arms wrapping around my waist I felt safe again, home. "My Bella, sleep my love." His finger touched my lips and I moaned pulling him closer to me, "Edward I do love you I do." His breath was cool and soothing against my hair; he kissed my collarbone and moaned against my skin. "Oh Bella, I've missed you my only love." I turned my back to him as he wrapped his cool arms around me, his breath against my hair sent chills down my spine. "I love you" I murmured into the pillow drifting off into a deeper sleep.

***Not so fast Edward!!!...that's all I'm gonna say **

**I needed to lighten up the mood a bit but the angst will return on Saturday **

**Please review…Toodle Loo!**

Enur- .com/watch?v=WL1hlzLsUaU (very popular in the gay clubs here in Texas)

Kevin Rudolph- .com/watch?v=d4_u5FnVrWE

Katy Perry- .com/watch?v=X75mry1LcFg


	9. Chapter Nine: Like Grownups Do

***Lemon Tease so if you are easily offended please stop reading right...now.**

Music: King of yesterday by Jude

Chapter Nine: Like grownups do

_A humanistic religion, if it excludes our relation to nature, is pale and thin, as it is presumptuous, when it takes humanity as an object of worship._

_-John Dewey_

Edward POV:

_Edward, I am going to need your help here._

I had watched her at a safe distance all night. She seemed so confident with the way she carried herself in front of her friends. A front of course, I knew she was a complete wreck. This was my fault. I appeared and made things worse. Bella had always been so self sacrificing and I doubt she would let her friends tend to her grief. Her friends were good people; they have her best interests at heart. Roxanne was Bella s protector; her thoughts gave me the impression that she was the mother hen of the lot. I am glad she has found companions who value her existence like I do. Bella was never one for parties when we were in high school together; she never partied with the football team and drank every weekend like so many of our other classmates had. I must admit, seeing her intoxicated and happy with her friends was a bit shocking. I wasn t appalled by her behavior, not at all. It was refreshing to see her acting as if nothing was worrying her mind for once, even if it was the liquor that clouded her judgment. I let myself believe everything was fine, pretending didn t become me.

I hailed a cab for Alice when I saw her pull Bella from her place on the bar; she had her nights fun. I made it to the hotel with time to spare so I checked on her friends. Roxanne and Khloe made it safely back to the hotel and were getting ready for bed. The cab arrived fifteen minutes later with Bella already passed out in the back. _It will not look right if I sling her over my shoulder, you had better do it_. Alice s mind raced through the conversation she had with Bella in the cab, she was trying to stop loving me? This couldn t happen, but she agreed to talk to me. Even if it was drunken banter I had an inkling of hope. Bella pulls herself closer to me inhaling my skin, "Hmmmm Alice you smell good." I trembled as her nose skimmed my neck and her grip tightened around my jacket, I let out a nervous laugh. _I made another reservation for a separate room; she shouldn t be around her friends in her condition. She might say things they shouldn t hear, she's been babbling. I should call Jasper, I miss him. Edward, she still loves you but it will take some effort on her part to let you in again. Hmmm, I should call the wedding planner and have her add one more to the quest attendance. I want Bella to be there OH! scratch that! She can be in my wedding_. In some ways the mind of Alice reminded me of New York Traffic, thoughts were jumbled going at different speeds and directions but still somehow in sync with each other making perfect sense. I found her mind to be amusing and a comfort to me. _I saw you having a conversation this morning. She will wake up around eleven._ "Will she be upset if I am there when she wakes up?" Alice s mind raced again and an image of Bella suddenly appeared waking and finding me there. She looked surprised but happy to see me there._ No but I would start with apologies right off the bat. Talk about things that aren t important first Edward, gain her trust in conversation first. She needs to not feel suffocated in order to talk comfortably_. Alice phones Jasper while my attention turns to my love. Alice turned down the bed and motioned for me to put her down but I held my grip on her for another minute as I inhaled her sweet scent fearing I might ever be this close again. I finally laid her on the bed staring at her perfect face for a bit, I instinctively wrapped my arms around her holding her while she slept._ I need to hunt, I will return in the afternoon. I ve already sent a text to her friends to let them know she was fine and in my room_. I nodded as Bella's arms suddenly gripped my arms tightly; she slowly opened her eyes to look at me. A small smile played across her lips as her nose rubbed mine. I began to pull away but her grip tightened further, I could have broken free without trouble but I couldn t bear to, "Hmmm...stay" she muttered as she pulled my arms back around her waist. I inhaled sharply at the warmth of her body; this was where I belonged, by her side. "My Bella," I whispered in her ear, "sleep my love." I debated kissing her, I wanted to so badly but I knew it wouldn t be proper. My finger traced the lines of her face and lingered on her perfect plump lips, she let out a low moan and that woke up something inside me I wasn t familiar with. I wanted to shower her body with kisses and explore her every surface. _This isn't proper dumbass she is drunk, she probably won t remember this.._"Edward I do love you! I do". My thoughts were interrupted by the angel's voice. I hugged her tighter and took in the scent of her hair; I let out another sharp gust as I began to plant kisses all over her face. I made my way down her neck and wrestled with myself on whether to continue this or stop all together. The gentleman in me won this round. I was so grateful to be here with her like this, "Oh Bella, I ve missed you my only love." She smiled at me turned her back to me, my arms found themselves around her again and she exhaled in relief, as if she was in pain and my touch was the antidote. I lightly kissed her hair as she nestled closer into her nook. "I love you." She slurred the sweet words into her pillow before she began her light snoring. My breathing matched hers and we were one person, for tonight at least.

Bella POV:

The sun was bright even through the closed shutters. My eyes were shut tightly trying to block the rays from dancing dancing over my lids. This only gave me a bigger headache. The tenderness of my stomach did not interact well the the growling that started and a slowly reached my aching throat, God I hate hangovers. I felt that I would vomit through my mouth, nose and maybe even through my ears, I should have known better. Alcohol and I were not the greatest of friends. I took deep breaths to gather my sense preparing myself for the nausea that would hit me once I open my eyes to the brightness surrounding the room, a pair of cool hands came from behind me and traced a line from my ear to my neck...I knew that touch from anywhere. My breathing hitched and my heart skipped beats as his arms wrapped around me pulling me close to him. "Before you go into hysterics and run out of the room let me tell you that nothing inappropriate happened." I could feel his mouth move against my ear as the goosebumps appeared along my neck. I stayed frozen in his grasp trying to rememeber the events of the evening, I didn't recall seeing him with us. I would have known...I mean, I knew he was watching me, or at least I thought he was but I had casted that off as my mind slowly running away with itself. I vaguely remember sitting Alice in the cab and crying to her, typical drunk.

_Oh no..._

He carried me, now I rememeber! He was with me in this room last night. Shit I thought I was dreaming! It hit me like a ton of bricks...I told him I still loved him. My guard was down and he stayed. I am not ready to face this, I mentally kicked myself, this was worse than a night of drunk dialing. My heartbeat picked up once more as his gripped loosened around me. He was kneeling by the bed infront of me with a glass of water and some aspirin. "You might be needing this."He whispered as he moved the strands of hair away from my face, "You had a lot to drink last night." Obviously. I felt my eyes widen in shock as he sat by me on the bed continuing to stroke my forehead. "How long have I been asleep?" I managed to stutter out as my voice recovered, I sounded hoarse as felt as if I swallowed sand paper. "A few hours, its only eleven in the morning and you have the room until tomorrow if you choose to stay." His eyes looked hopeful, his face was perfect,ugh. "No, I should probably start heading out pretty soon...I uh, I want try and go home today if not tomorrow." I stared at the white tablets sitting on the table with so much intensity that his concentration was broken to follow my gaze. He quickly grabbed the tablets and offered them to me, I sat up slowly and quickly inspected the room. Where were my friends? My clothes? Where was I? He noticed my panic and smiled his crooked smile, god he isn't making this easy. "Alice felt your babbling last night would disturb your friends so she gave you her room." I nodded slowly and kept my eyes on him. "Bella, I am here to give you grief. I just want to make sure you are fine." I smiled at his frightened expression, it was amazing how undone he seemed to become with just my stare. "Where is everyone?" The sips of cool water refreshed my dry mouth, I needed to brush my teeth. "Well, Roxanne and Khloe are having brunch in the hotel restaurant and Vanessa is alseep in the room." He smiled shyly trying to stifle a laugh, "What Edward?" I inspected myself quickly and he shook his head placing his hands on mine, the . "Your friends Vanessa and Roxanne are rather...vivacious." we both laugh together as the tension lifts between us. "But they care a great deal about you, its comforting to see you have such good friends Bella." He lifts my chin and swiftly strokes my cheek. " Yes, I am very blessed with my support system." His brow furrows as he studies the faint outline of teeth on the inside of my wrist. I take my hand back and hold it to my chest, he shakes his head and retrieves my hand placing it back in his. "Don't hide from me Bella. It's like I said, I am not here to make you feel uncomfortable." I knew I should have felt uneasy or even uncomfortable...I was far from it. There was an easy silence between us that wasn't uncomfortable or strained, we just sat infront of eachother staring at our hands intertwind. "I need to freshen up, can you give me a few minutes?" He helped me up and we stared at eachother a little longer than expected. "I am going to my room now, will you still be here?" His tense face relaxed with a sharp exhale, his sweet breath baited me as I moved closer to him, "Bella I will be here for as long as you need me to be." I smile and regain the feeling in my legs. " Good cause we need to have a talk." I muttered as I began walking backwards towards the door.

Vanessa was lying in bed still in her clothes from last night, her eyeliner was smudged and her hair had specks of confetti in it. I stifled a giggle as I remembered Edward's opinion my friend. The shower was cold and woke me up instantly, my mind wandered to the vampire waiting in the room down the hall. What was it that I wanted from this? Was I ready to listen? To talk? To start over? No. I don't think my heart would take another let down._ Swan, need to speak to him before you start making assumptions_. I shushed the little voice in my head wondering when it got so hopeful. That part of my brain had always been on Team Edward...ugh. I was going to talk and he was going to listen and vice versa. We needed to act like grownups instead of the running away and shouting (done by me for the most part) I tip toed out of the restroom to my suitcase and threw on a pair of black sweats and my ratty Tool shirt. I heard the girls voices outside the door and I froze over the suitcase. "Well hello sunshine!" Roxy bursted into the room with a chipper Khloe and Alice. "Shhh, Vanessa is still asleep."I whispered as Roxy pulled the sheets from under Nessa making her fall to the floor, "Wakey wakey eggs and bakey!" Vanessa groaned and cussed under her breath to Roxy, "Ah Vanessa, wake up! we have a full day ahead of us! Alice is taking us on a shopping trip and we are going to the spa!" Khloe beamed. "Hey Alice, I don't feel like a spa day today." Roxy and Khloe grimmaced at me and I felt myself starting to blush. "No Bella, You are going to the bridal shop with my wedding coordinator today, we need to get you fitted for a dress!" I looked at Alice mouth agape, "I uh, I...what? what dress?" She shook her head and giggled, "Bella didn't I tell you? You are standing in my wedding! I mean, you will right?" I nodded feeling a bit out of sorts as she pushed me out of the room and pulled me towards the wall. "Bella, Edward is waiting in the room I just bought you the day so use your time wisely. Remember to listen to what eachother has to say. No fighting!" I have to admit that I was relieved, the thought of spending the day at a spa being pampered was not very appealing to me. Strange as it might seem I just wanted to get this conversation out of the way. Alice walked me to the door and turned to head back to the room, she quickly kissed me on the cheek giggling shyly. "Bella remember to play nice! Oh! and by the way...you are standing in my wedding!" I rolled my eyes and before I could knock the door opened and I was greeted by the handsome Edward. My heart started beating fanatically in my chest as he took my hand to guide me in. I could feel the nervous knot in my stomach as he pulled me for a quick hug. "Bella, I took the liberty of ordering you some lunch, you didn't get a chance to eat breakfast so I figured..."he motioned to the tray on the table. How could I think about eating? My stomach was doing flip flops, I gnawed on my thumb finger about ready to chew my nail off. "Bella, don't eat your thumb there's food on the table." I smiled up at him seeing the playful expression on his face, I instantly felt relaxed. We sat across the table from eachother in silence for about thirty minutes, him staring at me while I stared nervously at my twisted fingers. "So Bella tell me about you."

"Um, theres really nothing to tell." I said as my fingers tapped the table. His hand covered mine, "Bella please. I am curious."

"I am a teacher. I teach high school level History."He looked up at me with an awed expression across his face. "Really Bella? That is spectacular!" I blush crimson as he went on with his praises to me. "Yeah I like it. Well, I live in Boston. I moved there after high school and I graduated from Harvard. I have a good life there, Im happy." I stare at him and he smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "I'd know that look anywhere Edward, why the sad smile?" He laughed and rubbed my knuckles, "It's nothing, I am just glad to see you are happy." I wanted to tell him I wasn't, not since he left me. It was a stupid and a juvenile thought I shoved back into the part of my brain reserved for my "feel sorry for myself" rant sessions. "Are you...dating anyone?" He asks without meeting my eyes, now who's the nervous one. "I ..." I wasn't sure how to answer this question given yesterday's events, "I don't know." That worked. "It's complicated I guess, we are at an impasse." I smirked at my choice of words. "Impasse, hmmm?" He moked by non-chalance, "That could be a bad thing I think." I shook my head laughing, "It depends on the way you look at it." He raised an eyebrow letting out a nervous cough, "Do you love him?" I almost choked on the orange juice I was sipping on and stared at him trying to maintain a casual expression, " I think I love the idea of him. He is a great person and good company but to say love? Well, I don't think there is love there...yet." That will wipe that smug expression he had been wearing, I knew this was a lie though. I couldn't love Joseph, not when my heart was full of another.

Edward's expression fell and he suddenly looked a thousand years old, I felt instantly horrible. He cleared his throat and pushed the glass of juice to the side reaching out for my hand, " I am happy you have found someone that makes you happy." _He doesn't!_ "Bella I love you enough to want you to be happy. Even if it isn't with me, but you have to understand why I did this."He motioned to both him and I, "I left you, for you. I wanted you to have a chance at a normal human life. Grow old with someone, have children and a carreer. I could never give you those things. We could never have children and watch them grow." I could hear the pain in his voice as he continued, " I didn't want to be selfish, you needed to experience life normally." I huffed at that word, normal? He looked up at me with a longing and I quickly turned away hoping the pent up tears wouldn't fall infront of him, he saw right through me. He moved his chair beside me and stroked my hair as I let out a sigh of relief with his proximity. "See Edward, I think your are selfish." He raised his eyebrows and pulled back to stare at me, "You want things your way because it's what you think is best, you never stopped and thought about how it would hurt me. You never once stopped and realized what I might want, you might think that I'm just some human with regular human emotions or that I might eventually forget the past but you are wrong." He started to speak and I quickly covered his mouth with my hand, "It's my turn Edward." He nodded and I breathed a sigh, "You seriously underestimated my feelings for you. In a way, I resent you for treating me like some school girl with a crush I'd forget in a month. You thought I'd forget? How do you forget the pain Edward? I loved you with everything that was in me. I loved you unconditionally and without judgement yet that wasn't enough to make you stop and see what you would be doing to me if you left. You are selfish Edward because you didn't care about my opinion on the matter. You just left me." That did it, the tears spilled over my eyes as I rose quickly to avoid any contact with him. Edward just stared at me like a deer caught in headlights, "Those word you spoke to me broke my heart Edward. You made me believe that I wasn't good enough for you, bad for you even. I have had to walk around everyday since that day knowing you didn't love me like I loved you. There are scars, hurt feelings I can't seem to get past." I was cut off my rant by his embrace, I shrugged him off and turn around to let him see this hurt across my face, "Is this the life you wanted for me Edward? Days wasted pining for a man who never wanted me? You broke me, you broke us." I inhaled slowly and tried to calm myself, "I am happy Edward." I let out a sigh and felt a calm wash over me, it was the motion in his chest as he breathed against my hair. "I think I needed this, I needed this to finally let go...of us."

"No!" He pulled me to him and our lips met. The spark ignited a flame between us making the pain and longing disappear all together. His left hand explored the exposed flesh of my back as his right cupped my chin with chaste. His tongue grazed my bottom lip and moaned at the touch, my lips parted granted him access. Our tongues met with the familiarity of reunited lovers, this was my undoing. My arms wrapped around his neck as he lifted me wrapping my legs around his waist. Pinned against the wall I stuggled for air, he did not stop. I loved this. He broke away from our kiss to run his tongue along the base of my neck, his teeth grazed my ear and his cool breath felt heavenly against my overheated body. "He cannot make you as happy as I could my love." I moaned as I felt his member against my core, this was new...What had gotten into him? "We belong together Isabella. Please see this." The hand that cupped my chin was now exploring the body using his hips to keep me held up against the wall." I am so sorry my love, please...please forgive me." The frantic kissing slowed and became light pecks all over my face, my breathe was ragged matching the pace of my rapid heart. He put me down and kissed the tip of my nose, "I love you Bella." He held me in his arms until the frantic beating of my heart slowed. He placed kisses on top of my head as he inhaled the scent of my hair.

We lay there for what seemed like hours in silence listening to eachothers breathing and watching our fingers dance around themselves, it felt right being there but the nagging in my head wouldn't quit. I wasn't sure how to trust again, I wasn't sure if I wanted to. All I knew was that at this moment the pain of losing Charlie and the pain of our situation was numbed by Edward's embrace. Our conversations continued but they were not as serious as the one before. "Are you still going home to Boston?" he asked as he played with my hair, taking a strand and running it under his nose. His eyes closed and he moaned in satisfaction, "I uh, I plan on going home...yes." I reply still staring in awe at his gorgeous face. "Ah I see...and what of, this Joseph?" I raised an eyebrow at him glaring at him playfully, _so cocky aren't we...I'll show you. _I sighed against his chest and looked up at him innocently "Well, of course he is still my boyfriend." I knew what Joseph was doing and I knew that the fact I was doing something along the lines of what he was didn't make me any better. "I need to think,I need...I need you." I was suprised at my answer as was he. "I need you too Bella." He replied as he kissed lips again, softly and sweetly. I moved quickly on top of him straddling him between my legs, my hair fell on either side of his face as I hovered over his neck with my tongue, I felt his body shudder at the touch of my tongue on his body but again, he did not stop me. "I like that you aren't afraid to be so close to me."I breathed into his neck, "Hmmm, it's not without effort I assure you, but Bella.." he flipped us over so fast I let out a giggle as he hovered carefully over me," I have been without your embrace, your touch..kiss and scent for too long. I missed your soul Bella." His tongue tracing my lips again sweetly making me shudder under him, "I am simply making up for lost time..." Our kiss deepened and we were lost in eachother. My phone began to ring making me jump back into my body. He let out a groan and mummbled against my mouth, "Leave it..." I giggled and thought about it but the ring was consitant and distracting.

I wiggled out from under him and went to the purse I left here that contained my phone, I stared at the screen and back at Edward. He looked down to the bed with a tortured expression, I hate this. I answered the phone staring at Edward dead in his liquid honey eyes. He got up and cupped my cheek in his hand running his thumb in small circles against my skin.

"Hello Joseph."

*** owwww!**

***Thanks again to all of you who put me on story alert and author alert. Please review! I appreciate each and every one of them and respond to them post haste! :) **

***Sorry for the delay but FF wasn't letting me upload again. yeesh...ah well. **

**Toodle Loo!**


	10. Chapter Ten:Snap

***Ok, so thanks for everyone who reviewed! If I didn't respond to you I am sorry, I wasn't getting email notifications for FF all weekend...weird. I really appreciate all the feedback I am getting from ya'll. A big THANK YOU! is in order for the those who reviewed every chapter. You have no idea how happy it makes me reading ya'lls feedback. To everyone who put my story on alert thank you as well ( don't be shy and let me hear from you!) **

***Also, I am looking for a Beta-reader, anyone intrested in tackling this story with me just shoot me a PM. Thanks :) **

***This is beginning with Joseph's POV, I really need to get this dude out of my head. ( thank you lovey) Lemons in this chapter...Again, if you are easily offened please stop reading...now. This is my first Lemon so....be kind.**

***My lovey co-wrote Joseph's POV.**

**So, without further adue....**

Song: *I had to put this song in here for my "patty" boyfriend (his nickname not mine) lol Im shipping up to Boston by The Dropkick Murphy's & Hooker with a Penis by Tool

Chapter Ten: Snap

Joseph's POV:

"Uh huh uh huh yeah!"_ What tha fuck? Does this hoe ever just shut up?..._ah fuck it..."Uh fuck me Jo Jo" I'm staring at the back of this chicks head trying to get me off and all I can think about is what the fuck is up with my girl. I've been trying to get a hold of this chick for two days already, I'm about to say _"fuck it!"_ to the whole situation with her. I've been holding out for about two years already. She's beautiful man don't get me wrong, the kind of girl I'd tame my wild ways for but I've been patient with this woman and I am at my wits end. True, I haven't been the most faithful guy but hey, can you blame me? In my line of work I have no problem getting a girl to go home with me, Bella is lucky I even stuck around for as long as I have. Who the fuck is a virgin at 23? Eh, its the thrill of the hunt for me I guess.

I am interrupted by this chick's moaning, it annoys me. I stop and she lets out a sigh of frusteration, "Shut up and put it in your mouth..."she drops to her kness and begins sucking, fuck she gives some good head. Jennifer has been a steady fuck of mine for a couple of years already, she's great in bed but I'm tired of the same trim over and over. Izzy would be great in bed, after I break her in she'll be good to go I think. She has a bad ass body and looks killer in a bikini, fuck what I wouldn't give to tear that shit up. Jennifer gets up pushes me down on the bed glaring at me, "I've got to get back home in a bit, lets get this shit over with..."she snapped at me as she straddled me, this was a great view. She lifts herself up and aligns herself with my cock and slams down on me hard. "Fuck Jess." I moan as she stops her thrusts and narrows her eyes, "Its Jen asshole." I give her an innocent smile and she begins to ride me again, I can feel myself getting there but her moaning is a boner kill. I grab her face and start kissing her hard, this hoe likes it rough. "UH! FUCK! J..J...JOE IM CUMMING!" I roll my eyes at her trying to fight back a laugh, she tries to hard to be sexy, she looks like an idiot, she shuddered and began to slow her rythym, I'm no where near done but I need to get this girl out of here. I fake my climax and push her off me. "Baby that was good" she tried going for my lips but I pushed her off again, " I need to take a shower, let yourself out." She huffed and began to dress herself. "My husband will be out of town next week, will I see you then?" I gathered my clothes and walked into the restroom as she stayed there looking at me with these hopeful eyes, "Joseph? Next week?" I shake my head and close the door, "Bella will be home then, we need to take a break for a bit." I yell through the door. Jennifer open the door with tears in her eyes, "Come on Jenny, we said it was just sex." She nodded as I wiped the tears from her eyes, "Joseph, I know we agreed but I can't help how I'm feel." I raise my hand to cut her off and push her towards the door, "Jennifer, Bella is my girl and you are just a fuck. You are married with kids and I am not looking for a woman with baggage." Jenny cocks her eyebrow at me and swiftly grabs her coat and purse without looking at me, "Fine Joseph. I am not doing this anymore then. I am not your ready made whore..."I laugh at her outburst as she huffs slamming the door behind her, she'll be back...they always come back.

After my shower I decide to try Bella again, this boyfriend shit really isn't for me. "Hello Joseph" Finally! she answered on the fourth ring. "Hey baby, how is everything?" I ask as I pick up the condom off the floor and fix the bed, "Fine, everything is fine." She doesn't sound right. "I miss you Izzy, I want you home already." I lied, it was cool not having her around, I didn't have to worry about sneaking chicks in and out or erasing numbers from my phone. Life was good right now without her. "Joseph, I...I called you yesterday, some girl answered." oh shit. "Oh baby that was my cousin,errr, Erin." Yeah that sound good, "Joseph" she sighs, "I know it was her." Aww dammit, "Bella, your are being stupid. I told you it was a one time thing and I was drunk." I smiled in the mirror as I spit my lies to her again, fuck! What is that on my neck? I had this huge red hickey right smack on my neck, fucking Jenn..."Joseph, I know it was her. That voice...it's the same girl who answers the phone at the station. I am not stupid." I roll my eyes as I begin to rub the red spot on my neck, "Bella, whatever. I am not doing shit. I love you and I am calling you because I won't give up on you. I love you and I want to be there for you." Bleh, fuck this..."Joseph, no. I don't think we should see eachother anymore. You cheated again and I am not an idiot...I will not play these games with you." What the fuck? Since when did she grow a pair? "Bella, listen to me. I am not fucking around and it is not over!" I'd be damned if I let her go, she was mine. I could feel my blood boil, my head was spinning and my breathing ragged. The thought of losing her was unimaginable, I needed to mark my territory before anyone else did. "Bella, do you understand me? You are not leaving me?" My voice was manic...

I could hear her heavy breathing on the other end, "It is so over Joseph, we are done. Do YOU understand? I am tired of you lying to me. I tried to love you but I can't. I know about the other women, Jenn...Katie....Holly, should I go on?" She sniffed and I could hear her muffled sobs on the other end, "I tried to overlook it, tried to love you...I dont love you though. I thought it would hurt me to do this but it doesn't. I'm sorry Joe, I have to go now..."

"Bella! YOU FUCKING BITCH! You can't leave me!" I could taste the acid on my tongue, I was going to be sick. My hands were shaking and I couldn't catch my breathe. I needed to hit something, someone..."FUCK!" I could hear the muffled sounds of a conversation and suddenly some dude came on the line. "I will ask you to mind your tongue sir." He sounded refined, educated and too calm...this pissed me the fuck off. "Who the fuck are you?" I spat feeling the burning in my throat, the acid was coming up and fast. "I am an old friend of Isabella's. I heard your...loud voice on the phone and felt it was inappropriate to speak that way to her. She is only telling you how she feels and you should do well to respect that." I could hear my cell phone cracking slightly against my firm grip, "You listen to me faggot! Izzy is my girl, has been for a while now. That is not going to change!" Who the fuck did this dude think he was? "Put Izzy back on the phone...NOW!" There was silence and I could hear the sound of a door open then close on the other end. His voice was an echo, low and serious, "You listen to me you worthless piece of shit, you will leave Bella alone. She spoke her piece, she doesn't want you...understand fuckhead? If I hear that you have called her, text her or even emailed her I will personally hunt you down and rip your fucking head off. Understood?" My shaking was uncontrollable now, I felt like I was going to explode. "Is...that...a...threat bitch?" I could bearly get the words out when I was cut off by this fucker again, "No threat...They will not find your body that, is a promise." The phone cut off abruptly and I next thing I knew I threw my phone against the mirror shattering it into a thousand pieces. There was a sudden knock on the door making me jump, "Joe its me...I left my fucking phone in here." Jenn, fuck! My rage was uncontrollable, I swung the door open and drug her in by her jacket making her fall to the ground, "Joseph!? Wha-" The back of my hand met her face with a fierce smack making her bleed instantly, I picked her up and flung her to the bed ripping off her clothes as she pleaded with me to stop. I saw red, I knew it was wrong but I couldn't help it. "YOU NEED TO SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I punched her mouth again, my hands wrapped around her tiny neck sqeezing out my frusterations, I was brought back by the sound of a gasp and snap. Jennnifer's body lay lifeless across the bed half naked and bloody.

_...oh fuck...oh fuck...oh fuck._

_What have I done?_

***OK...So, I know it's ugly right? I have Joseph figured out in my head, he is an ugly being. *Lovey thinks that it was best to give him a POV to better explain what he was about. You might have gotten confused by him in later chapters if I didn't let you into his mind for a bit. I guess he was right...( don't tell him that) Next update will be on Saturday. Don't worry, Joseph will be gone before you know it ;) **

***One last thing...apologies for my errors, they are a few but my word processor was being a bitch today. Bleh...:) **

**Please review...**

**Toodle Loo!**


	11. Chapter Eleven: Strawberry Swing

***I am sorry for the late update guys...it was a very busy holiday. Thank you guys for the reviews! I do appreciate it!! **

****I apologize for the errors in my grammer, my word processor is still acting up :( **

*****Follow me on twitter.../stephanieleal let me know about ya! **

******I needed to get this out so I can update the next chapter later on today if not tomorrow. It's my favorite ( chapter 12) thats all I'm gonna say. If you put me on story alert please let me know what you think, I love hearing from you all! **

*******I hope everyone had a great Christmas!**

**and now, without further adue...**

Chapter Eleven: Strawberry Swing

Song: Die Alone by Ingrid Michaelson

_(**This is soooo Bella's song in this story**)_

Bella POV:

I'd like to think I did it because I was finally tired of turning the other cheek when it came to his infidelities. I wasn't giving him what he wanted and I honestly didn't think that I was ever going to be ready with him. Something always stopped me. Even when we were naked and lying together, I couldn't surrender myself to him. Joseph's temper was like a rattlesnake, very violent. He never laid a hand on me but the intent was there the times I denied him, patching holes in walls and replacing doors became a regular thing when Joe didn't get his way. I always overlooked these faults of his, made it seem like everything was perfect to my family and my friends. Lying to myself was easy after a while. I'd like to think I grew a pair after that...co-worker of his answered his phone. I should have been mad but I wasn't, to be honest I was relieved. I sat there on the edge of the bed listening to his tired excuses when the words escaped my mouth before I could stop them, I had ended it. He flipped and he wasn't the Joseph I knew, his ragged breathing and growl reminded me of Jake right before he phased. I felt the bed shift and Edward sat close to me hands over mine. His brows furrowed as he heard the shouting coming from the other end of the phone. Our eyes met as he screamed obsenities at me, "Bella! YOU FUCKING BITCH! You can't leave me!". My mouth dropped and Edward's lips pulled back over his teeth as a low hiss came from his chest. I held the phone to my chest and placed my hand on Edward's arm, "Calm yourself Edward, he is just upset..." A worthless excuse for Joe's behavior. "Bella, are you defending his behavior? Does he talk to you like this often?" He hissed. His eyes narrowed towards me as he ran his hands through his tousled hair. "No...but" his hand quickly snatched the phone from my hands with little effort. Edward was calm, cool and collected as I paced back and forth chewing on my thumb. My mind raced thinking about what just happened between Edward and I, why did I let this happen? What was I thinking? Am I really accepting him back in my life? Edward smiled at me and disappeared into the restroom. I grabbed my cigarrettes from my bag and sat outside on the balcony to try and wrap my head around what just happened. I needed a moment to think this through.

If Edward wasn't here I think I would have given in and let Joe make things right with me again, I was grateful for him at that moment. I felt as if a weight had been lifted off me for a second but what was I seriously doing with Edward? Our kisses weren't like before, they were better. The desire I should have felt with Joe overcame me when Edward was pressed against me. I was like clay in his hands and in that moment, I didn't care. His hands were familiar and the taste of his kisses were intoxicating. I wanted him, I wanted to be with him again but I know it wouldn't be right. What good what come from this? He could never give what he wanted me to find in the first place, a normal human life. Did I care? Did I care that we would never have a the normal family life with kids and all that stuff people are supposed to want? Did I even want that? I never stopped and thought about it. I've never had the desire to become a mother but what if I wanted to in the future? I was only getting older and it wouldn't be right. Right? A million questions were racing in my head and the floor began to spin. I didn't know what I wanted in the future but for now it was him. My heart raced at the thought of being with him again, could I trust him not to leave me again? The love I had for him never died and our embraces only made my need for him stronger. "You are being silly" I muttered to myself as I examined the cigarrette in my hand. "Why am I silly?" The sound of his voice startled me as the cigarrette fell in between my legs. "Ow! SHIT!" I jumped out of the chair patting the smoking cushion, "This sucks, I think I burned my pants." I wiped the ashed away from the chair and took my seat next to Edward whos eyes were studying the cigarrette bud on the floor. "Bella, I hate that you smoke...it will kill you." His hand swept the loose hair away from my face as his eyes locked on mine. "Please try and remember that your life is precious to me and this is not healthy." His hand gestured to the pack in my hand. "Well, you being here isn't exactly healthly for me either" I laughed as his face fell into his hands, "I'm kidding Edward." He grabbed my hand and placed it on his cheek, "You have no idea how good your touch feels my love." Is this really happening? "What was said between you and Joe?" I took my hand away and rose from next to him, he looked pained at the distance I put between us. "He will not be bothering you again." I huffed and his eyebrows rose at my reaction, "Do you really think he is just going to stop?" I laughed trying to hide my concern, " He has a temper Edward..."I felt cool arms wrap around me and his breath tickled my ear, "Do you honestly think I would let anyone hurt you?" I shivered as I pulled away from him, "It's too cold Edward." I couldn't bring myself to look at him as I spoke, "I don't know if I can trust you. I don't know if I want to. I love you Edward, I truly do but..." My head rose at the touch of his finger to my chin, "I am here to stay Bella and I will earn your trust back, even if it's my final act. I love you so much Bella and words will never express how truly sorry I am for everything." He stepped closer to me closing the distance between us, "Give me time...I will restore your faith in me again." I sighed as his breath blew across my face, "Time? I like the idea of that...Time will tell." My heart raced as I felt his finger traced lines under my chin and around my lips, he smiled and placed his other hand on my chest. "I missed this, your blood...sings for me." I giggled as he kissed my forehead, "Come, lets go inside and warm you up."

"We should think about changing your number Bella." Edward spoke as he wrapped a blanket around me, "Just in case he decides to try and be brave." He chuckled as he brushed my hair behind my ears. "I will do that when I get back to Boston." His brows furrowed as he took my hand, "I think you would be safer if I went with you, I could rent a place near..."My hand rose infront of him as I shook my head, "No Edward, I will not have you uprooting your life because of me again...I will be fine." He began to speak and my fingers closed his mouth shut, "Edward..No. If we are going to try to work this, " I motioned back and forth between both of us,"out we need to move at my pace..." He tried to smile as my fingers still held his mouth shut. "Eventually, if it works we can discuss any...changes we make." His eyes widened and I cringed as I felt his body stiffen. "Changes?" He eyed me curiously, "What do you mean..." I shook my head covering his mouth with my hands, "We will cross that bridge when and if we get there." He nodded reluctantly as fell back into the bed covering myself in thick comforter. My phone began ringing again and we shot up trying to wrestle with the blankets wrapped around me. He pulled the phone from his pocket and handed it to me smiling, "It's Alice." Before I could get a greeting she started squealing like a little girl, "OH BELLA!!! I am so so soooooo happy you two are..." I cut her off instantly and could only imagine the pouting she was doing on the other end, "Alice, nothing is certain just yet." She snorted and started giggling, "Right Bella. Whatever you say...So listen, the girls think we should head back to Forks. We need to get the house situated if you are planning on leaving in the next couple of days. I told them you were with my coordinator and that I would arrange you to ride back with 'her' when you were done." I looked over at Edward as he rolled his eyes and gave me that crooked smile I loved. "Um Alice don't you think it's rude of me to just leave my friends alone?" The thought of a car ride alone with Edward was tempting but my friends where there to see me, it wouldn't be fair. "Nonsense Bella! They agree with me. You would only be about an hour behind us, it's no big deal. Besides, you have a lot to catch up on." I sighed knowing that I would never win an arguement with Alice. "Fine Alice, I will hitch a ride with 'her'...you win." Her high pitched squeal pierced my ears and Edward laughed as I flinched away from the phone, "Have fun you two! and be safe!" She sang teasingly over the phone. I snapped the phone shut and threw myself back on the bed. Edward went to lay next to me and began to twist my hair in between his fingers, "So, what do you want to do today? We have a couple of hours before we have to leave." I sat up with him and leaned against his chest, "Lets just drive back already...I want to go to our meadow." I felt his breathing hitch as he pulled away to look at me, "You want to go there again? Are you sure?" I nodded and his face lit up as relief washed over his face. "We will get through this Bella, thank you for giving me a chance."

We drove in comfortable silence the majority of the way with the radio playing low in the background. We drove in his Volvo at a normal speed limit asking eachother question after question, he was not in a hurry to end this road trip. "So, what are you doing with your time now?" I asked as he searched my Zune player for a song, "I was studying at Columbia for a bit...oh hey you like Imogen Heap too?" I nod as I reached for my Mp3 player, he moved his hand that had it over his head and laughed at my feeble attempt at a scowl. "Can you at least leave it on this song for now? I love it." He started it again and raised the volume, I sat back and closed my eyes enjoying the music and easy silence between us. I searched for this hand pulling it from the steering wheel and locked it around mine, "This is easy...being here with you like this. Time stops for us in this car for some reason..." I giggled as his hand tightened around me, I leaned over to kiss his cheek and his eyes closed as he took a deep breath. "Thank you" He whispered as the next song came on and his eyebrow raised again, "Well Bella, we have the same taste in music it seems..." We sat with hands intertwined as the lyrics to Coldplay's Strawberry Swing played. His fingers tapped the wheel as he hummed the lyrics to himself with a smile playing around his mouth. "Now the sky could be blue I don't mind without you its a waste of time, now the sky could be blue could be gray without you I'm just miles away" He raised our joined hands to his mouth and kissed my fingers, electricity passed between us making my head spin._ Was it really this easy? Could I do this again?_ I wanted to...so bad. We arrived at the gates to the Edmonds-Kingston Ferry fifteen minutes before it's departure. After parking the car on the boat we walked hand in hand to the front of the ferry. He buttoned my peacoat to the top and pulled down hat to covering my eyes, his arms wrapped around me laughing as I struggled to fix it. "Without you it's a waste of time..."He whispered into my hair as his embrace tightened. I looked up and kissed his chin gently, I felt his body relax around me as he bent down to kiss me. Our lips met with ease and my body shivered at his touch, he pulled back gently and rubbed the sides of my arms, "Lets go inside the car, I will start the heater." We sat in the back seat of his car holding eachother and talking about nothing and everything. Twenty minutes later we arrived across the river and began the last leg of our journey. Two hours later we arrived at the familiar spot off the highway, "Jump on my back love, we will be there in no time." I stepped away from him hesitant as he laughed at my resistance. "Bella, its not so bad. Just close your eyes and I'll tell you when you can open them again." I walked slowly towards him and he suddenly reached out and threw me over his back, "Are you a caveman now?" I giggled as he rolled his eye at me, "Close your eyes and hold on silly girl."

It wasn't as bad as I remembered, before I knew it we were standing where the clearing began. "It hasn't changed one bit...this is so surreal." The tears began to fall as I remembered the first time we were here together. "Bella? My love what's wrong?" He kissed the tears off my cheeks and sat us down on the ground. "I am just overwhelmed by all this, it doesn't feel like this is real." I sniffed, "It's all so sudden Edward, I've gone five years without as much as a phone call from you and here I am...back at this place, with you." He looked down at our linked hands and laid us down across the field of wildflowers, "That is something I will never forgive myself for Bella" I shook my head and lifted his chin to meet my gaze, " You had your reasons I guess, I don't understand it and I probably won't ever but I told you I would try...I love you enough to try." The words I spoke were true. I knew in my heart that this was where I wanted to be, but my head couldn't get around my trust issues. Our conversation from earlier began again as the questions flowed between the two of us. A little while later after a comfortable length of silence Edward looked up at me and began to stutter as he tried to figure out the right way to ask, "Bella, um..I uh was wondering...well." His throat cleared and his hand ran through his hair pulling it gently at the roots, "Out with it Edward, I've never seen you come undone like this...it's kinda funny to watch." I teased as he tickled my ribs gently. "Well, I was wondering if, well, if...you and Joseph were ever...intimate." I felt the heat on my cheeks as he turned quickly away in embarassment, I let out a low chuckle and patted his arm gently, "No Edward, I haven't had sex..."The blush in my cheeks radiated down to the pit of my stomach as I continued, " I never wanted anyone else..." He looked up at me and smiled, "Same here Bella." He pulled out my Zune from his pocket and handed me an ear bud, I took the tiny player from his hands and began to look for a particular song. "Do you want to hear something? This song makes me think of you...of us." I blushed again feeling his hand on my cheek, "Lets hear it then..."We lay back on the cool soft grass as the song began, the tears began to fall again at the thought of my sleepless nights where this song was on a constant repeat. I played it when I thought I was forgetting about him...his face never faded from my mind but the masochist in me wanted to hurt to remember he existed. "This is a sad song Bella, why do you associate us with it?" I shook my head as I folded my arm over eyes, "I don't know, I guess it just reminds me of the pain...it reminds me of Forks and being here with you." I inhaled a deep breath to try and stop the sobs coming from my chest, "It reminds me of the happier times and helps me remember you where real..." I felt him lift me up from the ground and before I knew it, we were holding eachother close. His body began to sway to the music, "I don't dance Edward..." His lips gently caressed by cheek, his cool breath numbed my cold ear as he whispered to me, "Hush now Bella, you are a wonderful dancer...We are making a new memory now. This song is our meadow song, never again take it to a dark place in your mind." He spun me around slowly and started moving to the beat again. "You have an great taste in music Isabella. I think you may have been born in the wrong era." We laughed in unison as we moved together. His hands fell on either side of my face as he continued to move our bodies together, he placed gentle kisses all over my face stopping at the corner of my mouth. My breath caught and my heart began to pound in my chest, his nose rubbed against mine as his lips grazed mine. His body suddenly froze in its place and he released me quickly. He quickly pushed me behind him and fixed his stare toward the dark woods, "I do believe you are on Cullen territory..."He hissed towards the rustling in the trees. My eyes widened in terror as I took in the four slow moving wolves in the distance...

"Jake? Sam? Jared? Quil?" I was cut off my a load snarl coming from Edward as he shifted into a crouching postition infront of me. Jake was ready to pounce as the other three wolves growled in my direction..._oh my god_.

"NO! PLEASE! STOP THIS JAKE!"

***Imogen Heap's song was called "Wait it out" **

***The song they danced to in the meadow was Janis Joplin's To love somebody**

****Please review** toodle loo! **


	12. Chapter Twelve: Pissing Contest

****Ok so the song 'Hearing Damage' came to my rescue for this chapter. I love it. **

Chapter Twelve: Pissing Contest

Song: Hearing Damage by Thom Yorke

Bella POV:

"NO! PLEASE! STOP THIS JAKE!" My heart was racing as I ran like a mad woman to position myself between the two. Without thinking, I placed my hands on either side of Jake's face gently stoking the errant hair under his muzzle.

"BELLA! ARE YOU INSANE!" Edward shouted as he began to walk swiftly towards us, I shot my hand up to stop him glaring at him.

"Edward, he will not hurt me...isn't that right Jake?" I patted the top of his head as his growling subsided and a soft whimper overtook him. His nose lightly bumped my chest moving me away from Edward and I giggled, "Oh Jake, Edward isn't going to hurt me..." Jake and Edward both huffed.

"He thinks I was trying to kill you before they intercepted...stupid mutts." He muttered under his breath. Jake suddenly shook himself away from my embrace and backed away slowly growling something fierce. Edward moved into a crouch position hissing at Jake, this was insane!

"JAKE! EDWARD! STOP!"

Jake turned and sprinted towards the trees disappearing all together. "He thinks I'm here to kill you." Edward's position relaxed but his eyes never left the other three wolves growling in unison.

"Stop it guys! I can't even hear myself think!" I hissed towards the pack, it was then I noticed a familiar figure make his way out of the trees and brush. Jacob had phased back to human form wearing nothing but cut off sweat pants, his hair was loose down is back and he wore an expression promising violence. He walked quickly towards the gathering with his finger pointed at Edward, his hand was shaking and his face was a dark red.

"You are not allowed near her!" Jacob spat the words with so much menace I was reminded of my conversation with Joe this morning. "LEAVE LEECH!"

Edward shook his head slowly and inched toward me, "I will leave when Bella dismisses me, until then...dog, I am here to stay."

Jacob's body began to shake uncontrollably and as I went to place my hand on his chest he shoved it away, "Bells, How could you allow him near you!? After everything he's put you through?" I flinched at Jacob's tone as he backed away further from me, the distance hurt. He was never this ugly to me...why couldn't they just get along? "He didn't want you anymore, he left you alone to face Victoria..."

Edward hissed and inched closer to us, "I didn't think Victoria..."

Jacob laughed sarcastically toward Edward looking back at his pack, "That's right Cullen, you didn't think! You left her broken and in danger and I STAYED to pick up the pieces...where the fuck where you?!"

Edward straightened his posture and shot an angry glare towards him, "I will only ask you once and once only mongrel, mind your tongue around Bella." He spoke with a calm tone reaching out for me. "You are on Cullen Territory Jacob, please abide by treaty rules and leave."

Jake stared at me as if I slapped him across the face, "Bells? Are you seriously letting him back in your life? This is fu- stupid Bella!" The tears began to sting my eyes as I looked between the two in front of me...

"Jake, I love you like a brother dude. You are family. You have been there for me and I will forever be grateful to you and your brothers."

He inhaled deeply and let out a sigh as he took my face in his hands, "Bella, I cannot protect you while he is here, How could you.."

Tears ran down my face and I couldn't bring myself to look at him, "Jake, he is not going to hurt me, please believe me. I..I love him." The shock across his face was heartbreaking as he began to walk backward towards the other wolves, "Jake please don't do this!" I sobbed as I began to follow him.

"No Bella, he is going to phase. You could be hurt..."Edward said as he stepped in front of me.

Jake stopped in his tracks and narrowed his bloodshot eyes at Edward, "I will never hurt her...I am not you bloodsucker!" They stayed staring at each other for the longest time and Jake wore an expression as if he were thinking really hard about something. Edward's face looked as if he was being burned alive, his expression terrified me and for a moment I thought he was going to burst into flames.

I looked between them as the silent conversation went on between them, "What are you doing Jake." Edward's breathing turned ragged and he began to gasp for air he did not need. "I am just showing him everything I witnessed in the past five years Bella, it's not very pretty is it leech?"

"Jake stop!" I shrieked.

"No Bella, it's fine." Edward cut me off wincing at the thoughts Jake let loose in his head. "Thank you." Jacob's eyes bugged out but quickly controlled his expression,"For what Bloodsucker?"

"For keeping Bella...alive."Edward flinched at the word, "When I couldn't."

Jacob let out a growl and started shaking again, "I DIDN'T DO IT AS A FAVOR TO YOU, YOU ARROGANT BASTARD!"

"Either way mutt, You kept her safe and I am grateful for that." Edward took my hand and led me towards the waiting Volvo. I stared at Jacob and the pack as Edward rushed me out of the clearing before I could see Jacob phase.

"Don't you dare touch her...you son of a..." Jake's voice rattled. I could hear the ripping of fabric as this voice was cut off by a fierce growl.

I heard the thudding of Jake's paws against the ground as Edward all but threw me towards the car, "Run..." He turned quickly towards Jake as sank in an attack position hissing menacingly towards the charging wolf.

Jake's speed picked up as he moved to pounce, I ran towards them screaming, "JAKE! PLEASE! DAMMIT!"

Edward's head snapped in my direction with a horror stricken look and raised his hand out towards me, "BELLA! Don't!"

I ignored his pleading and stepped into the space between them. I stared at Jake with pleading eyes as my hands rose in front of me, "STOP. THIS. NOW! YOU ARE BOTH ACTING LIKE FUCKING MORONS!" I screamed to the charging beast. His eyes widened as his body pounced over my head landing behind Edward.

Edward's body blurred as his turned to face Jake, both were crouched into an attack position snarling at one another. They stayed that way for what seemed like forever, "If you two are done with this pissing contest I have to get back." I tried to sound light hearted but the tension was so thick between them I was suffocating. Jake suddenly huffed and relaxed his position slowly circling around us as his eyes shifted between Edward and I.

I met his gaze and read the hurt in them, I instantly felt like shit. "I'm so sorry Jake..." He huffed again and turned his head away. He backed himself towards the waiting wolves who were all still growling in unison. They all backed away slow until disappearing into the dark forest behind them. I rolled my eyes at this display of male machismo...

"Bella?" I turned around to stare at Edward as the tears flooded my face, "Oh Bella, I am sorry you had to see this..." His hands came up to wipe my face. I leaned into his hand and kissed his palm, his body relaxed and pulled me into a hug.

"I didn't..."I hiccuped in between sobs, "I di..I didn't think it would end like this." I buried my head into his chest as his grip tightened around me. "Jake is going to hate me...I can't...he was...is...my friend...my family." My sobs were uncontrollable at this point.

I felt my body lift up off the ground, Edward cradled me placing gently kisses on my head and whispering words of comfort into my ear, "I'm here now Bella, I'm sorry I hurt you again. I didn't want you to see that, but I'm here...please don't cry." We made it to the car as he set me to my feet and placed his hands on either side of my face, "I love you." He muttered as he kissed the tip of my nose, "Let's get you home..." I nodded.

As soon as I was in the car I heard the agonizing howl of a wolf in the distant...

"Oh Jacob." I whispered through the window. Was this really worth losing a friendship? I entertained the thought of telling Edward to fuck off but my heart couldn't let him leave. He did it to protect me and Jacob needed to see this. He needed to listen to reason!

Edward POV:

I got Bella into the car and listened to the threats coming from the pack of dogs before I entered the car.

_You and me bloodsucker, this is not over!_

This was certainly not over. I wasn't going to let him get away with almost attacking me in front of Bella, what was he thinking!? She could have gotten hurt or worse...KILLED!

_You use Bella as a shield but it won't work the next time leech! You coward! _

My hands tightened around the steering wheel in frustration, I was no coward. Did he not care that she was willing to be hurt just to stop us from fighting? How daft can one be?

_Remember the treaty freak! If you bite her...I swear...I will fucking rip you to pieces..._

His thoughts were cut off by another loud howl. I started the Volvo and sped off as the howls grew fainter with each passing mile. Bella sat in the passenger's seat with her legs folded under her chin, her head was buried in her hands as rocked back and forth against the seat. "What have I done?" She repeated over and over until we got to Charlie's. I took her out of the car and carried her up the stairs to her room.

She lay there sobbing quietly against her pillow, this pained me to see her hurting. Almost as much as the images Jake showed me in his head. Bella laying there catatonic, staring out the window at each passing car hoping it was me. Her face was thin and frail, unhealthy but still beautiful as ever. Her eyes were dark and empty and her face had aged overnight. I hated myself for making her go through that. I was an idiot but I would rectify this, I swore I would.

I got up to give her some privacy and she whimpered grabbing my arm, "Don't go Edward, I need you here." I lay next to her wrapping my arms around her waist and let her cry it out. We where there for what seemed like hours and the sound of an engine cut off in front of the house.

_Edward we are home._

"Alice is here with your friends Bella."

She hiccuped a breath of air and began to speak, "I need to leave this place already Edward. It's not safe for you here."

"When do you want to leave Bella?"

Her breathing was calm as she wrapped my arms tighter around her, "Tonight if possible." I nodded slowly as she turned around to face me. "I want you to come back with me for a bit...I am not ready to let you go."

My fingers traced her lips as she shuttered against me. "I am not going anywhere Bella. I promised you and I am a man of my word."

Alice came into the room taking in the position that we were in and smiled smugly towards us, _I told you brother! I knew it! ooooh! I'm so happy! Wait until Carlisle and Esme find out.._

"You might want to fix yourselves the girls are making their way inside now." We sat up and Alice nodded knowingly towards Bella, "I will call the airlines to book your flight out. I will stay here and wrap up all the loose ends for you Bella." She said as she wiped the remaining tears off Bella's face.

I stared at her with a nervous expression and she shook it off, _I will be fine Edward. I only have to oversee the movers and dump the rest of the trash. The house is on the market as of one this afternoon...Jasper, Emmett and Rose will be here in the evening. I will be safe...You should take her to New York for bit. _I shook my head cocking it towards Bella, she would put up a fight if I gave her that option.

The loud steps climbing up the stairs snapped Bella out of her daze and she rose out of her bed wiping and fanning her face. Vanessa was talking about her latest score as the girls giggled compairing notes. All three burst into the room and froze as their eyes found me standing near Bella with my hand against her face.

_Holy hell! You are freakin' gorgeous!!_

_Fuck me sideways!_

_This must be Edward...hmmm what is he doing here._

"Shotgun" Roxanne whispered low under her breath

"I think he's already taken Roxy" Vanessa breathed back.

"Hello, My name is Edward Cullen." I rose to greet them taking each of their hands in a light handshake.

_Edward? Edward! Bella's Edward? _

I smirked at the expression 'Bella's Edward'.

_How dare he show his face here! _The tiny one who resembled Alice was shooting glares at me as she refused to shake me hand. She crossed her arms over her chest and let out a loud sigh.

"Khloe be nice" Bella insisted with a warning in her tone.

The tiny girl rolled her eyes and stuck out her hand limply, "The name is Khloe." Her eyebrows furrowed and I couldn't help but laugh a bit. "and you must be...Alice' brother...that Edward." She shot a glance towards Alice then back at me.

"Yes, I am, her step-brother. Which Edward are you referring to?" I smiled down towards her as her body stiffened.

_Hmmm...arrogant. _Khloe's arms crossed themselves again and glared at me, "The Edward that broke my best friend's heart..." _Oh shit I cannot believe I said that out loud._

_Jesus Khloe! _Roxanne's eyes widened as she looked towards the fuming pixie.

_Oh shit Bella is gonna rip her a new one. _Vanessa stared at Bella whose fingers were rubbing against her temples.

_Well Edward, she isn't going to be an easy one to win over..._Alice shook her head smiling towards Khloe.

"Khloe, down girl." Bella chuckled grabbing her tiny friend and kissed the top of her head. "Edward is here to pay his respects to my father, be nice please. I don't want anymore stress today ok?" She rubbed the sides of Khloe's arms.

"Fine." She huffed and turned to Alice and I, "Sorry, I didn't mean to be so rude." She said through her teeth, "It's just that we are very protective of our Bella, she's been through so much..."

_I don't want to deal with another douche bag like Joseph...so help me if you are anything like him..._

Her face tensed but relaxed when she saw me smile at Bella and twist her hair away from her face. "Understandable Khloe..." I continued as I touched my loves face with my finger never breaking eye contact with Bella. "I am only here to offer Isabella my support." I finally looked over to all three girls, their mouths were open staring intently at Bella whose face was bright red.

_Clean up in Bella's rooom please! _

_Well if that smile isn't a panty dropper I don't know what is... _Roxanne never fails.

_Pfft! I don't buy it, he's up to something._ I was going to have to move a mountain to convince that little one...

_Nice brother...way to work a room. _Alice chidded

Roxanne's throat clearing broke the uncomfortable silence in the room as she laughed, "Awkward." She sang out. "Listen B, our flights are schedualed for eight in the morning but we can stay if..."

"No Roxy you are fine, I am planning on leaving tomorrow as well..."Bella said still looking at me. "_We_ are going back to Boston tomorrow."

_Joseph's not going to like this..._"Oh...ok. Say uh...I haven't heard you speak of Joseph since we got here..." Vanessa said as Roxanne jabbed her side, "Ow Roxy!"

"Joseph is uh, entertaining his co-worker at present time..." Bella muttered under her breath.

_Entertaining? Yeah ok. God I hate that man..._Khloe's thoughts brought me back to him. He was waiting for her back in Boston. He was the kind of man that coveted what was his, just like me. He was a possesive individuale, to the point of insanity. I couldn't let her near him...she couldn't defend herself against him. The thought of his hands on her made me shudder in disgust. Bella noticed my body stiffen and her hand found mine against her cheek, my body relaxed as her warmth circulated throughout my body.

"I see..."Khloe said, "Well, I'm starving! Anyone up for chinese?"

The night went on as we all sat around the living room floor talking about their memories of being here with Bella and Charlie for the holidays. "Oh my god Roxy do you remember when Charlie took you and I fishing?" Laughter errupted from Bella as Roxanne scowled at Vanessa.

"No V, I don't recall that." She muttered trying to stifle a laugh.

"Oh course you do!" She turned towards Alice and I with an eggroll pointed towards Roxy, "Charlie made us all go fishing the day after Thanksgiving, Roxanne was terrified of water...

"I wasn't scared of the water Nessa! I was grossed out my mosquitoes flying around...ick" Roxanne shuttered at the memory

"Sure you were Roxy...so anyways, Bella started rocking the boat.."I looked over towards Bella and she was shaking her head laughing, tears were building up, this was a joy to see. "Roxanne fell into the water and started splashing around screaming that she was drowning and for us to help her."

Everyone laughed at Roxanne's face fell into her hands, "Charlie shook his head and told you to calm down..."

"Roxy just stand up.." they all said in unison quoting the words Charlie spoke to her.

"Fuck you guys!" Roxy laughed as she threw a sping roll at Vanessa

"So Roxanne stops thrashing around the water and she stands up...the water is just above her waist and she is fuming!" Khloe snorted making everyone break out into laughter again.

Silence overcame the room after a while, Bella's eyes where fixed outside the window as Khloe placed her hand on top of hers. "Charlie took us all in and treated us like daughters...he was a good man." Bella sniffed at looked over towards Khloe with tears in her eyes. "Come now Bella." Khloe wrapped her arms around Bella and began rocking her gently, "We are here for you babe, let it out sweet girl."She muttered into her hair as Bella sobbed into her chest. Roxanne and Vanessa placed their hands on top of Bella's as they held back tears of their own.

_She has a wonderful support system here. _Alice thought as walked over to their huddle and placed her hands on Bella's shoulder. Khloe looked up at me and I smiled, she half smiled in my direction before she closed her eyes and continued to rock Bella. I wanted so badly to take Bella in my arms and run her away from here but no matter how far away I take her, the pain will eventually catch up. She couldn't run away from the memories...

"Ok." Bella sniffed as she broke away from their embrace, "We all have early flights in the morning and I'm beat..." She looked up at everyone and smiled. Her eyes met mine and lingered there as she continued, "I'm going to bed."

Alice and I said our goodbyes and began to walk towards the Volvo. "So..."she giggled as she danced around me, "Are you and Bella...." I shook my head and patted the top of her head. She shrugged and continued skipping around me like a child, "No matter...it will happen soon."

"Alice, don't linger here after we leave. I don't know if the mutts will keep their end of the treaty..." She stopped in her tracks and looked over to me with a raised eyebrow. _Explain please. _"I had a run in with Jake earlier today but Bella stopped him from attacking...he said it wasn't over and since I won't be here after tomorrow I don't want them to attack you.." I looked to her and she rolled her eyes and shook her head in my direction.

"Pish posh Edward!" She began to skip around me again, "Jasper and the guys should arrive an hour after you depart, I don't foresee anything bad happening."

"Even so Alice, be careful."

*****

I returned to Bella's home late that night, the house was dark and filled with light snores coming from Charlie's room. I scaled the side of the house and climbed in through the window, Bella was curled into a ball in the middle of her bed snoring softly. I climbed into her bed as quietly as I could as her breathing hitched then stopped for a second, "It's about time." I could hear her smiling as she spoke. I wrapped my arms around her and she sighed with relief.

"I'm sorry love."

"mmmmhmmm, it's fine. You're here now." She cuddled deeper into my chest and inhaled deeply,"I just want to leave this place and forget it ever existed..." I crippling pain shot across my chest at the sound of her words, this was where we started. This place held so much history here with us and to just wish it away seemed...almost unjust. She was hurting. I understood this completely but I couldn't just sit there and let her forget her past...she just needed time, time to heal. I was here with her now and would help her through this, I wasn't there when she needed me the most and I would do my best to make up for that.

I could feel Bella's heart slow as her breathing evened out, she lids drooped as she fought the drowsiness that overcame her. I kissed her eyelids gently as she let the sleep take her.

"Sleep my love..."

***Ok, I had to end this chapter on a good note ( sorta) **

**I hope you all have a wonderful NEW YEAR! **

**Please review...toodle loo**


	13. Chapter Thirteen: Frivolity

***All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer ( except for my girls Roxy, Vanessa and Khloe) **

***Please read A/N at the bottom when you are done. :) **

Chapter Thirteen: Frivolity

Bella POV:

I woke to the sounds of an annoying chirp coming from my pocket, I programmed a ring tone for that specific number knowing that if it went off...I had to answer it. I groaned and shifted to my side digging the phone out of my pocket when suddenly the bed shifted slightly, I could feel his cool breath against my ear. I had, for a second, forgotten he was here and the memory of yesterday's events washed over me like a flood. The heaviness in my chest returned in full force and I for a moment, I had forgotten how to breathe. "Hello Olivia." It was still dark outside when I tried to scramble up from the bed, the voice was thick with sleep as I tried to sound as pleasant as possible.

"Oh shit Bella I forgot the time difference there!"

"That's not a problem Livie I have a flight in a couple of hours so I should really be up anyway, what can I do for you?" Olivia began filling me in on the faculty meetings I've missed and calls I needed to return when Edward's hand moved across my back sending chills down my spine, I shrugged away from him shooting him a playful glare which he ignored. He kissed the exposed skin of my lower back and I yelped quickly covering my mouth.

"Um, is everything ok Bella? Am I interrupting something?" She asked sounding slightly annoyed by the lack of attention I had given her.

"No Liv, everything is ok. I just stubbed my toe." I quickly recovered sticking my tongue out at Edward. I mouthed for him to stop but he shook his head playfully as he gently pushed my back down to the bed. He began nipping my ear and the coolness of his breath made my body heat up almost instantly. I shook my head blocking his mouth with my hand but his tongue started drawling circles against my palm. "Stop it..."I muttered under my breath trying to stifle a giggle.

"Well are you going to call him back?" The sound of Olivia's voice sounded annoyed again snapping me out of the trance I was in. I pushed Edward away from me giving him a warning glare and his hands were raised in front of him giving me an innocent "I didn't do anything" expression. This made my heart melt...

"I'm sorry Olivia call who back?" I blushed embarrassed that I had to ask her to repeat herself.

"I said that Mr. Holden Westward called from Regis High School in New York called regarding the resume you submitted back in August. I sent you emails about it and he called again about an hour ago asking if you were back in town." I wanted to relocate last year to be closer to Roxanne and Vanessa, Khloe wouldn't have been so far and was finishing school soon. We planned to all be in New York by then end of the ear, but life happened and Joseph didn't want to hear of me moving anywhere but to his apartment. I avoided that particular subject like the plague.

"Oh sorry Liv, I have been busy here..."I ran my free hand through Edwards hair and got up again to find a pen. "Can you give me the number..." I scribbled the number down on a piece of paper as I listened to Olivia ramble on about the horrible sub they have covering my classes. I rolled my eyes as she prattled on growing weary of her constant nagging.

"Oh yeah and Joseph called here too, he asked if I knew your father's address...I thought he was there with you? I don't have it here on file...strange. Why would he be asking for your dad's..."

"Thanks Livie, I am going to call Mr. Westward right now, um...if Joseph calls again let him know that you haven't heard from me please...I've got to go now, I will see you on Monday." I cut her off quickly staring at Edward's frozen form, he was glaring out the window balling up his fists until his knuckles turned white. I snapped the phone shut and walked back to the bed. I sat on his lap and buried my head against his neck, "How did everything get so messy?" I whispered.

"Everything will be fine my love." He spoke into my hair, "I will let no harm come to you..."I shook my head and he lifted my chin to meet his gaze, "Do you understand Bella? You will be fine, I promise."

"It isn't your job to protect me Edward, I am a grown woman and I put myself in this situation. It's bad enough that you and Jake almost killed each other because of me, I don't want...."His fingers pinched my mouth closed and I shook it off and huffed, "I'm serious Edward. You have no idea how crappy I feel, I can't believe I just let Jake go like that. He must think I've betrayed him! ugh! This is all sorts of messed up..." I buried my head in my hands and tugged on my hair in frustration.

"Bella, I doubt Jake would have stood there and let you explain the situation; he barely wanted to hear what you had to say when I was standing right there. Werewolves are extremely volatile love, they are not safe for you to be around." I snorted at his remark and he laid me back on the bed, "I'm being serious too Bella."

"Either way Edward, this situation with Joe is something I need to handle on my own..."

"No."

"Edward, I don't want him to hurt you." I tried to laugh off the thought.

"Oh love,"He chuckled, "The only way he can hurt me is if he harms you. Other than that, I think I can take care of myself" He winked at me as I got up to grab my phone and started dialing the number.

"This conversation is far from over Mr. Cullen." He gave me his crooked smile began to look through my old copy of Romeo and Juliet.

"Good morning Regis High, this is Angelica speaking how may I direct your call?" The secretary sounded board as she droned the simple greeting, _this is going to be interesting..._

"Hello good morning to you Angelica, my name is Isabella Swan and I am returning a call from Mr. Westward..." I was cut off by the annoying saxophone rendition of My heart will go on, I was on hold. _Well, she was freakin' rude. _I looked over to Edward rolling my eyes in frustration and he chuckled silently while skimming through the book.

I sat there on hold staring at Edward, he laid across my bed holding the book up over his head lightly taping it's binding with his finger. I wondered how we got back to this place...this comfortable place. I wasn't sure why it was so easy for me to be here again, I went five years pining for him. Needing him here yet hating him at the same time. My stomach turned thinking about the times I wished I could see him once more, when I was at my worst and tell him I hated the memory of him. How I hated what his leaving did to me only to turn around and regret the very idea of having those thoughts. How could I hate him? My mind wrestled back and forth for years but in the end, my love for him was just too strong. The annoying music was suddenly cut off snapping me back into the present, Edward was sitting up on the bed staring at me in confusion.

"This is Mr. Westward." His English accent was clipped and annoyed as if he were interrupted making me feel like an insolent child.

"Mr. Westward Good morning, this is Isabella Swan." I managed to choke out.

"Ah yes Ms. Swan, I'm glad to finally be speaking to you. The board members and I reviewed your resume last month. We are pleased to offer you a teaching position at our school, it would be in your area of expertise for our senior class level. You would receive an ample sign on bonus with paid summer vacation."

"Oh...wow. I had submitted that months before, I didn't think...well, I didn't hear from your school district and..."

"Yes Ms. Swan at the time the position didn't need to be filled after all. The teacher we were replacing had a change of heart and now it is in our best interest to have the position filled." His voice sounded bored and pretentious, like the teacher from Ferris Bueler's day off. I giggled at my errant thought as he cleared his throat and droned on again, "Should you decided to join our faculty here at Regis you would be required to start at the beginning of the new school year; that would be in September." I heard the school bell in the background as he cleared his voice again, "Ms. Swan I'm afraid we have to cut this short, I have a meeting to attend to. Please think about our offer and get back to us as soon as possible."

"Yes Mr. Westward I will think about it over the weekend and let you know of my decision on Monday." The huffing and shuffling of papers on his end made me feel rushed and uncomfortable.

"Alright then, we will look forward to hearing from you. Until then Miss Swan..." His voice was cut off my the dial tone leaving me dumbfounded. Was this school really as pretentious as they sounded? This was the teaching position I had wanted for a long time, the district paid well and they had a wonderful English program. I loved living in Boston but am I ready for change? My head swam with thoughts of Jake, Joseph and Edward and now this?

Edward rose from the bed and was by my side in an instant, "So..."he began as he ran his fingers through my hair, "Where you planning on moving to New York?" Edward asked as he took my face in his hands.

"I was at the time."

"But?...."

"Joseph didn't want me moving and they never called me back." Edward grimaced when I mentioned his name.

"Well they are calling you back now Bella, will you take it?"

"I haven't thought it through Edward. It's all so sudden." I wiggled out of his embrace reaching for the suitcase by the door, I avoided his gaze as I walked around the room gathering my clothes.

"You know, we live in New York now. It would be great being so close to you." He said as he placed my clothes into my suitcase. "That's something to think about too..."

"True." A smile was playing at the edge of his mouth as I muttered the hopeful word. "I would be closer to my friends as well and the farther away from Joseph the better."

"True." He mocked as he bent down to quickly kiss my nose, "So you are considering it?" I nodded and he swept me into his arms planting quick kisses all over my face. I giggled trying to break free from his vice grip, he froze as the door swung open and Roxanne burst into the room. She stood there with her mouth hanging open shifting her gaze between us.

"You know, you're gonna catch a fly in the mouth of yours if you keep it open like that."She snapped it shut smiling at me

"Smart ass." She countered shifting her gaze once again to Edward. He wore a sheepish expression on his face as Roxy's glare met him. "So B, I take it you and Joe are no longer dating?" I always admired Roxanne's lack of mental editing but this morning, it was getting a little annoying. I felt Edward stiffen in my arms, Roxy noticed it as well.

"No Rox, Joseph is...well, he is..." I stammered a bit noticing her eyebrows raised in question, I looked up at Edward and he was wearing an amused grin.

"He cheated again." She cut me off holding her hands up in surrender, "That's it! He is a dead man." She spoke through her teeth. Edward chuckled but quickly muffled his snicker when he met Roxanne's glare. "Do you think it's funny Edward?" She spat as he shook his head. This was too funny and a first for me, Edward Cullen looked truly terrified of a human...but then again, it was Roxy; Everyone was afraid of Roxy and her icy stare, his expression was...priceless. "You have no idea what Bella puts up with." She placed her hand on my shoulder giving me a sympathetic look before her expression changed back to anger as she took in Edward again.

"I understand completely Roxanne." Edward gave her his signature crooked smile and she squeezed my shoulder. I winced as moved out from under her hold.

"Ahem...well" Rose suddenly found her shoes interesting as she fidgeted around twisting her fingers together, "Um well I guess I'm going to finish getting our stuff together...Bella?" I looked up at her and she was motioning for me to follow her outside the room. I nodded and looked over at Edward who was smirking and shaking his head, our eyes met and he winked at me. _Uh oh..._

I followed Roxy downstairs to the kitchen where four cups of Starbucks coffee and muffins were set up around the table..._Alice._ "So Bella, what's the story with that?" She motioned to the room above us...my room and looked down at me with a raised eyebrow. "Don't lie either Bell, you're a terrible liar you know..."

She was right, I am a terrible liar but am I ready to tell her everything? Did I have a choice? "Well.."I began, shuffling my feet trying to come up with a quick excuse as to why my ex-boyfriend was in my room so early in the morning. "Um, What do you mean?" I played stupid..._terrible actress!_ I cursed to myself as Roxanne placed her hands on her hips and began to tap her foot.

"You are hiding something from me!" She hissed.

"Roxy, he is just a friend." She shifted into an intimidating stance with her arms crossed scowling at me, I couldn't help but roll my eyes and felt the blood rush to my cheeks. "Roxy stop please. It's...well...complicated."

"I'm sure I can keep up." She said as she lifted her body to sit on the counter. "Let me make myself comfortable and then you can begin...make it quick I have a flight soon." I went on to tell her about Edward and I ( leaving out the whole vampire vs. werewolves thing...and well, vampires in general.) I told her he heard about my father's death from the paper and he wanted to pay his respects. As for the early morning visit, he bought coffee and muffins for us incase we were hungry. I spun the truth around to my advantage and in the end Roxy backed off a bit. "Hmmm..." she jumped off the counter and began pacing around the kitchen, "I think Edward still has a thing for you." Her hands shot up in front of her body as if she was blocking an attack, "BUT!..." She raised her voice in an attempt to cut off the argument I was going to start, "Who am I to judge..." she giggled, "Bella, do what makes you happy! You deserve to be happy ya' know!"

"Woman! It's not like that! He is just being nice..."

"Sure...yeah...right...nice." She muttered sarcastically against the cup before she took a drink. She down to her watch and smiled a bit, "I wish my ex showed up at 6 am with coffee and muffins...let me tell you we wouldn't be ex's if he looked at me the way Edward stares at you.." She shuddered lightly at the thought and quickly regained her composure, "Honey, he has it bad...there is definitely something there." She looked up at the ceiling towards the room Edward was in. I left it alone after she made that comment. Of course there was something there! He was the great love of my life...still is, I think.

The conversation died down and the girls started making their way down to the kitchen with their bags setting them by the front door. Edward appeared downstairs to open the door for Alice. "The taxi should be here in 30 minutes or so..." Alice said as she pulled me into a hug, I caught a glimpse of Khloe attempting to wipe her tears before I could notice she was crying...

"Khloe, no tears dork...I'll meet you for drinks next weekend. Now, I am going to go and change before your cab gets here..."

"That sounds like a great idea Bella." Vanessa said the girls began to close in on Edward, "We have some questions for Mr. Edward." I stopped in the middle of the staircase as Edward began to chuckle nervously at the questions waiting for him.

* * *

**Sorry for the late update I had a severe case of writers block and a lot of personal issues to deal with. It's been very hard to concentrate...But all is well now so the updates should be more frequent from now on...I promise.**

**This isn't a very interesting chapter,**_**just a stepping stone for what's to come**__**. **_**So keep that in mind when your reading it and you say "Now that just blew chunks..." lol *Keep in mind that I wrote this first half during my "A.D.H.D" fit. **

**This chapter is cut in half because it is really long. ( The other part *chpt 14* will be up on Tuesday) **

**I am also going to be posting the first chapter of my new story pretty soon so be on the look out for that as well...I guess that what has me so consumed right now as well....( I'm telling you I was super scatter brained these past weeks...) **

**Once again, I apologize for the delay. **

**OH!!! please review...I love hearing from you guys! **

**Toodle loo!**


	14. Chapter Fourteen: Breakable

**A/N below :) **

Chapter Fourteen: Breakable

Song(s): Breakable by Ingrid Michaelson & On the radio by Regina Spektor

_"We are just breakable, breakable, breakable girls and boys...."_

EPOV:

_He looks terrified...good._

_He's just going to hurt her again. _

_Hmmm I wonder if he has a brother, he's so freakin' hot! Way to go Bella! _

_Umm, Edward I am going to see if Bella needs help packing...good luck! _Alice began to walk backwards towards the stairs wearing a smug smile. She darted up the stairs in a flash.

"Traitor" I muttered too low for anyone but hear.I heard the smug humor in her thoughts, I knew she heard me..._Oh Edward, you didn't think it was going to be that easy did you? Just remember that these are Bella's best friends, they are her lifelines...understand where they are coming from. They are just as protective as you are when it comes to her so be nice...._Sometimes Alice was the most annoying creature I have ever encountered, but she was right....I hated that.

Roxanne, Khloe and Vanessa inched towards me slowly until I found myself cornered against the counter. I knew better than to be afraid of three human woman but their expressions promised violence. Roxanne's face relaxed as she reached around me to get some packets of sugar and Vanessa pulled up a chair and sat at the table. Khloe remained standing in front of me with her arms crossed, "Why are you always around?"

_Yikes Khloe, can you be more rude? _Roxy looked at her fuming friend in shock and then back at me apologetically.

_Batten down the hatches...she's about to blow! _Vanessa thought as she stirred her coffee silently in the background.

"I know all about you Edward." Khloe continued, " You broke her heart, led her on...You broke her!" Her tiny frame was shaking with anger.

Vanessa got up to intervene but I waved her off with a smile, she raised her eyebrows and shook her head as she retreated back to her seat. _Fine cutie...it's your funeral._ She began stirring her coffee again.

"Khloe, I understand your frustration with me." I moved around her to sit on the chair across from Vanessa, "But you have to understand that there is a lot to Bella and I that you don't understand." She opened her mouth to argue but I raised my hand to stop her, "No Khloe, I don't mean to be rude but will you please hear me out this time?"

_Ugh, arrogant jerk..._She thought as she closed her mouth again.

"My family was moving and I was torn." I lied, "I loved her...I still love her, please believe me when I say that. I never wanted to hurt her but I was young back then. We both were...I said things I didn't mean and didn't handle it like I should have. Please understand that I acted out of fear and childish insecurities..." There was some truth to it, I underestimated her...I always did. I let myself believe that she would brush it off as some school yard crush...how stupid of me. My words left an uncomfortable silence between us, not even their minds were racing.

Roxanne's mind remembered all the nights back in school when they would sit up and talk. Bella would cry and they would comfort her, she remembered all the men Bella rejected and her issues with her self esteem. "You weren't there dealing with it like we were..." She spoke, breaking the silence that filled the room. " You had no idea how she reacted to the whole situation...You would think a regular girl would cry for maybe six months and move on but Bella, well..Bella is a constant little thing. There is nothing regular about our girl Edward." Roxanne spoke of Bella with admiration and her thoughts confirmed her words, she is blessed with great friends.

"Bella is one of a kind." I agreed.

"We just don't want to see her hurt again Edward." Vanessa added. " She has been through so much with you and when she finally decided to date again, the first and only guy after you was and is a complete dick!" She began thinking about the times he would flirt with other women in front of Bella. The very thought of this man putting his hands on her or even kissing her tormented me.

"I am not him." I snapped

"But you left..." Khloe said.

"I know and you have no idea how bad I've wanted to take it all back." I looked around at the three girls and with a pleading tone I continued, "I care about Bella. I want to be here for her and I know it's going to take a long time for her to trust me again. I am prepared to do whatever it takes to convince her I am here to stay." Khloe still had her arms crossed over her chest staring at me with a furrowed brow but Roxy and Vanessa were both looking down at their coffee taking in everything I told them.

_I wonder if he is sincere..._

"I am." I closed my hand over my mouth realizing that it was an errant thought coming from Vanessa, "I am...sure you all have your doubts about my intentions. I understand that you are her friends..."

"We are her family and we protect our family..." Khloe interrupted.

"Khloe I understand your hostility towards me. But please believe me when I say I am not here to hurt her again."

"Khloe it's Bella's choice, if she trusts him..." Roxy spoke as she placed her hands on Khloe's intertwined arms. Khloe shrugged away from her touch and stood up again towering over me.

_Oh Jesus, Mary and Joseph please don't hit him..._Vanessa's body tensed as she inhaled sharply, "Khloe..."

"No." She snapped glaring at Vanessa who put her hands in front of her in defense._ Easy Tiger..._Khloe looked back at me and closed her eyes taking in deep breath "Listen to me Edward..."She said my name sweetly yet with such venom it made me cring, "If you hurt her...if you make her cry...if you break your word...well, well...I can't do it but I will find someone bigger than me to kick your ass. Get it?" She said innocently with a tight smile. I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing but I managed to nod, her expression relaxed as she took her seat again.

Silence fell again as they all stared at me with blank expressions. _He seems sincere, he seems to love her. Maybe he'll make it right..._Vanessa smiled at me then looked over to Khloe furrowing her eyebrows, _That's if Xena the warrior princess over here doesn't kill him first..._

I stifled a chuckle and they all looked up at me. _He's smug...cute, but smug. _Roxy thought as she went back to checking her phone...._oh!!! sale at Barney's this weekend...I need a new skirt. _

_I don't know what to think of this jackass. I see the way she stares at him and there's not doubt she's crazy about him but I don't want to see her broken again. It took years for her to come out of that shell. If he hurts her I swea..._The horn outside broke her away from her train of thought and Bella ran down the stairs with towel wrapped around her head. "Oh you guys! Thanks for coming. I love you guys so much!" They all embraced each other for a long minute and sniffles were coming from the circle.

"Bella that's what family is for." She annunciated the word family and looked over to me quickly then back at Bella. "We will meet for lunch this weekend ok?" Bella nodded and Khloe kissed her on the cheek.

"Bella...remember no glove no love." Roxy whispered in her ear making Bella blush a deep crimson and playfully smacked her on her back. "I'm just saying hon.." Roxy spoked up and eyed me like a piece of meat, _Handsome specimen of a man. _

I cleared my throat and said my goodbyes to the girls. "I'm gonna try to trust you Edward...please don't make me regret it." Khloe kept my hand in hers and stared at me dead in the eyes. "Trust me Khloe..." I said in her ear, she nodded and let me go.

We all said our goodbyes and it fell quiet throughout the house. The movers arrived fifteen minutes later and Alice directed them to the living room while Bella and I sat at the kitchen table in a comfortable silence. "We should probably get going too don't you think?" She said as she reached her hand across the table. I took her hand in mine and brought it to my lips, "My family has a private jet waiting in a private hanger at the airport, we can go anytime you like love." I mumbled against her palm inhaling her scent, the familiar burn in my throat was a welcomed nuisance. I missed this...

"Private hanger? Private Jet?" She asked teasingly, "My my hoity toity aren't we..." We both erupted into laughter as she playfully punched my arm and winced, "Oww it's like hitting marble." She giggled as I playfully flexed my arm.

We arrived with Alice at the airport a couple of hours later, my siblings flight was due thirty minutes after our departure. Alice kissed Bella on both cheeks and made her promise to visit Alice in New York soon. _I saw Joseph waiting for her outside her apartment, he will be there on Monday around four. Bella gets out of school around three so please...._She looked at me with pleading eyes as I read the rest of her thoughts on what was to come. We stared at each other lost in our silent conversation when Bella interrupted, "Um guys?" She stepped in between us, "Feeling a little left out here." I nodded to Alice and she kissed an annoyed looking Bella again on the cheeks and walked back to the car. "Are you going to tell me what's going on Edward?" She froze in place dropping her bags on the floor. "I will not move an inch until you tell me what Alice was thinking...or saying or whatever she was doing to make you look so angry." I walked over to Bella and kissed her forehead and lifted her over my shoulders grabbing the bags with my free hand. "Edward!!" She giggled trying to sound angry, "Put me down this second!" She continued to giggle as climbed up the stairs of the jet.

I set her down on the seat and knelt down in front of her peppering her face with quick kisses causing her to giggle uncontrollably, "It was nothing love."

Her laughter stopped and she looked at me skeptically, "You sir, are a horrible liar." She sat back in the seat and crossed her arms over her chest brows raised as she tapped her foot against the floor. "I am not a child, do not hide things from me." I closed my eyes and placed my head on her lap hugging her waist bring her closer to me. "Edward I thought you wanted me to trust you...if your keeping things from me and lying telling me its nothing, then how can I possibly do that?"

She had a point, I needed to be open and honest with her even if it scared her. She isn't that seventeen year old anymore, "If I tell you will you promise not to panic?" I said with my head still buried in her lap. She grabbed my face and brought it to hers, "I promise...now spill." I placed studied her eyes for a long moment and brushed my lips against hers. "Joseph is going to pay a visit to the apartment on Monday." I pulled back to stare at her reaction, she turned as pale as a sheet of paper and exhaled sharply. "Don't worry love, he will not hurt you." I gripped her hand and kissed her palms bring them up to my chin, "You trust me don't you?" She nodded weakly still trying to find her words. Her eyelashes fluttered and she shook her head as if she were trying to erase the something horrible from her pilot's voice came on the speaker instructing us to buckle our seatbelts, Bella's shaking hands fumbled with the straps while she tried to control her breathing. "He's gonna kill me..." She repeated to herself under her breath. I removed her hands from the seat belt and fastened it for her, her trembling settled with my touch and her breathing calmed. "Bella, listen to me." I took her head in my hands and locked eyes with her, "..you." She shook her head and I locked it in place with my hands, "Listen to me love, I am here and I will remain at your side until you order me away...even then I will be at a safe distance keeping an eye." I smiled releasing my grip on her. She laughed and kissed my nose, "Borderline stalker babe. But sweet just the same." I sat back into my seat keeping her hand in mine drawing circles on her knuckles, she leaned her head against my shoulder and took a deep breath, "Are you sniffing me Bella?" She giggled and relaxed further against my arm eventually falling asleep there.

I woke her up when the fasten seat belts sign came on and she jumped up in a panic, "Where are we!?" Her head snapped from side to side and relaxed when she saw me smiling at her. "I'm sorry." She blushed throwing her body back into the seat, "How long was I out?"

"The whole way. It's ok love you were exhausted."

She closed her eyes and groaned, "Blah!" I laughed as she pouted in my direction.

"You are a cranky napper." She stuck her tongue out at me and I caught it with my fingers. I pulled her close to me keeping her tongue trapped in between my fingers, she tried started snickering and instead of trying to wiggle away from me she let me take her in my arms. "Awwr gggyou kgonna holt my tongkue like this all day or awwr gggyou gonna ki-" I released my fingers and I was suddenly met with her lips on mine. The taste of her tongue was enough to send me into a frenzy, the sweet smell of her blood intensified with her rising temperature...I could smell the arousal. Her tongue dragged lightly along the edge of mine begging for entrance, her sweet breath clouded my judgment and I found myself dragging her to the floor. I hovered over her and as our kiss deepened I started imagining our naked bodies intertwined becoming one. The improper thoughts flooded my mind and the sound of her moaning against my mouth brought me back to present time, my hand was over her right breast gently massaging it as my other hand trailed across her stomach. Our eyes met as we struggled to control our rapid breathing, she smiled sweetly at me and pecked me on the lips, "Always the gentleman." I chuckled against her neck and kissed behind her ear.

"Bella please forgive me, I was out of line." She chuckled shaking her head as I lifted us up quickly strapped us back into our seats before the cabin pressure changed as the plane began to descend. The pilot came on the speaker again...

"Mr. Cullen and Ms. Swan welcome to Boston."

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***oh finally getting somewhere!!!! **

***Chapter two of my new story will be coming out tomorrow. Check it out :) It's on my profile, the first chapter is up. **

**Please review! Toodle loo :)**


	15. Chapter Fifteen:First

****I would have had this up two days ago but fanfic wouldn't let me upload anything...very devastating! lol But alas here it is.**

****Rated M for lemons. This is my first lemony chapter so I'm shaking lol.**

****If you are easily offended by sexual situations please stop reading.....now.  
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Song:Strawberry Swing

Chapter Fifteen: First

Bella POV:

We made our way into the waiting car after handing our luggage to our leaned towards the driver "Perkins Square apartments in Jamaica Plain please." He turned to look at me and gave me that crooked smile I love. "What?" He asked wrapping his arms around me.

"How do you know where I live?....stalker." I giggled as he playfully shoved my side. I suddenly remembered the mess waiting at my place, I ran around throwing my clothes everywhere trying to gather my things to catch the last flight to Washington. _Did I leave the lights on? Shit! I left the milk out too...oh man!_ "Really...how did you know where to go?"

He looked at me with a worried expression but relaxed when I nudged him again, "Alice." He muttered, "Plus you are very easy to track down..." Edward laughed into my hair kissing behind my ear. I rolled my eyes and pulled out the worn out paper back version of Mansfield Park. He grabbed it from my hand and pushed me against his chest, "Come now, I'll read..." I felt comfort in his arms, the gentle thrumming of the motor mixed with sound of his voice eased me. We were stuck in traffic for about thirty minutes but none of it mattered, he whispered into my ear the goings on in the world of Fanny Price and Edmund Bertram. We were at the part of the book where Fanny rejects Mr. Crawford's engagement when Edward closes the book and pulls me closer to him, "I will never understand your obsession with Austen..."

I shrugged against his chest and grabbed the book from his hold, "Don't mess with Jane." Edward laughed into my hair and grabbed the book again, "Fine Love, let's continue..."Give me the book back..."I dodged his advance hiding the book behind my back as he playfully narrowed his eyes at me.

"You dissed Jane, You are not worthy of reading it..." I said as he rolled his eyes reaching around me for the book. I removed it quickly but Edward was quicker, grabbing it from my hand before I could notice it was gone. "You win this time Cullen..."

"Yeah...better luck next time Swan." He pulled me to closer to him pressing my lips to his.

"Are we ever going talk about what happened on the plane?" I asked breaking away from his embrace, I couldn't help but think about how far things would have gone if he didn't stop to think about things.I have never felt the need to be physically intimate with anyone, not even Joseph. But when I find myself wrapped around Edward's arms I'm filled with a desire that is unfamiliar, exciting and terrifying all at the same time.

He jaw flexed as he clenched and unclenched his fists, "Bella.." He began nervously, " I am sorry I was so forward. It's hard to...control myself around you."

"Edward I know you will never bite me." I whispered just low enough that only he could hear, "I trust you..." He shook his head waving me off as if he were annoyed, this upset me...

"No no no Bella, I don't mean it in that sense of self control." He turned to look at me holding my hand, "I've lived without you long enough and I wouldn't let that part of myself take over. What I meant was...the human in me. The human that desires what any man desires." He said as he eyed the exposed skin of my chest then looked up quickly. I giggled and took his hand again kissing his palms, he breathing hitched and his eyes closed. "Bella, it wouldn't...I, well...What are we doing?"

I stopped kissing his palm and looked up at him, "What do you mean?" I felt a knot build in my stomach as he straightened me up to face him.

"Bella, I want to know what we are doing. You and I." He motioned his fingers between us.

"Way to change the subject Edward." I pushed myself further into the seat crossing my arms and glaring at him.

"Love, it all ties in together. If we had gotten to the point where we were physical, I wouldn't want us to be strictly sex partners. You do not deserve that and neither do I."

I nodded my head and relaxed my body leaning closer to him, " I love you Edward, I want to be with you. The trust issue is still and issue but I want to be with you. I've spent so much time away from you..."

His finger lifted my chin to meet his liquid gold eyes, "I have spent too much time away from you as well. I want to make up for mistakes I've made, things I've missed." His hands found mine and we stared at each other for the longest time.

"So we are doing this then? You and I? Together again?" I managed to stutter out once I broke eye contact with him.

"Yes." He wrapped his arms around me and rocked me gently. I could have sworn I heard him say "Thank God" against my hair.

"Welcome home Edward."I muttered as he hugged me tighter nodding against my neck, "It's good to be home." He looked up at me smiling his crooked smile, "I'll never stray again."

"Mr. Cullen...Ms. Swan, we are here." The driver said as he pulled along side the curb honking at the kids playing baseball on the street.

Edward POV:

We arrived at the apartment complex just as the clouds were rolling in. The temperature was dropped making the wind ice cold against her face, she shivered as she slipped on her jacket. "Go inside Bella, I will get the bags." She tottered inside almost slipping over a wet mat. I was ecstatic at the idea of Bella giving us another chance, I will do my absolute best to make her happy. My phone rang breaking me out of my thoughts, "Hello Alice."

"Edward, my dear brother! congrats!! Didn't I tell you to have patience...."

"Yes Alice...you are right. Now what do you want?"

"Well my lovely brother I've just called to tell you that you will be fine." Jasper was laughing in the background and Alice stopped to shush him.

"What do you mean Alice?"

"I mean, don't over think anything! You will be fine and she will be a lovely..." Jasper shushed her this time and the light bulb went on.

"Alice nothing's going to happen and she isn't going to become...."

"You don't know that Edward!" She giggled, "And she will be fine."

"Alice...you looked for this?"

"Eww! Of course not! I had a vision of Bella becoming one of us." She said cautiously with fear of an outburst.

"I don't know. I just don't know." I said as Alice huffed muttering obscenities under her breath, "Be a lady Alice." I laughed.

"Forgive me brother but you are such a pussy!" My mouth hung open as I processed that last remark, "You lost her once and now you have her...don't be stupid. Don't deny her what she asks."

I pinched the bridge of my nose trying to keep from laughing, did she just call me a pussy?

"I've got to go Alice. I will speak with you later."

"Edward!! Are you listening to me? Don't be such a pus-"

I met Bella in the lobby of her apartment complex, she was holding stacks of mail as she paced to keep warm. I walked at her pace up the four flights of stairs talking about all the mail she had. We were in front of her apartment when she suddenly turned around with her hands in the air, "Now listen, my place is a pig stye. I was in a rush to get on the last flight out of here..." I stopped her planting my lips on hers. Bella groaned as her tongue slid between her parted lips searching for mine. She opened the door with her free hand as her other tangled in my hair, the door flung open as she threw down the mail while unbuttoning her coat. I pushed her gently against the wall as she began to undo her pants. She was suddenly wearing tiny shorts and grinding against me. "I've never been with a woman before Bella..." I muttered against her cheek, she smiled and kissed my neck, "I've never been with a woman either Edward..." She giggled kissing my neck. "Seriously Edward, it's my first time too. I want my first time to be with you..." I picked her up and ran her to her room gently laying her across her twisted covers. Her tongue ran up the base of my throat followed by lingering kisses under my ear.

"Edward?" She whispered sweetly in my ear, "Make love to me." She lifted her hips to grind against mine wrapping her arms around me to pull me down to her.

"Bella...I could hurt you."

She covered my mouth with her hand and shook her head grabbing my shirt to bring me closer to her, "Don't over think this Edward. We belong together love." I jerked in reaction to her sweet words. My breathing stopped as I felt her ease her hands across my chest and down to my stomach. "I want to share this experience with you Edward. Please..."Her nose skimmed up and down my neck inhaling my scent of my skin, her tongue darted along tracing my ear lobe. My lips met her beautifully swollen lips as they parted pulsing with the inflow of warm, sensual blood. I threw all my worries out the window when the scent of her arousal hit my nose.

"I want all of you Bella" I whispered in a voice I could hardly recognize as my own. "I want everything you've got to give me." She reclaimed my mouth in urgency and our tongues danced and curled in synchronization. My hands began to wonder across her body memorizing the feel of her skin as her temperature increased the blood flow. Her hands fumbled with the buttons of my shirt but she gave up in a huff ripping it open in frustration, I chuckled into her mouth and tossed the tattered shirt aside. "Patience love...we have all night." I grabbed her hands and placed them above her head, after all those years of reading different books and thoughts about this subject I was left completely clueless. I was nervous, feeling like a stuttering school boy who's just discovered breasts but her reassuring smile eased my nerves. I unbuttoned her shirt and before she could register what was going on she was topless, she reached up to kiss me but I stopped her, keeping her hands above her head. "Patience..." I slid her shorts down to her ankles trailing kisses from her stomach to her feet while removing the shorts entirely. Her scent was powerful and amazing, her breathe hitched as I ran my fingers up and down legs watching the rising and falling of her chest. I was mesmerized by her being, "Keep still love, I want to remember ever single thing about tonight..." I ran my hands over every single inch over her beautiful alabaster skin, she squirmed under my touch...the reaction her body awoke the human in me.

My hands roamed over her delicate pink bra pushing her gorgeous pale mounds of fragrant flesh together and kissed the valley in between them. Her heart skipped a beat and began thumping violently against her chest, her breathing picked up as I my tongue darted along the flushed skin. I began toying with the tiny bow that held the cups of her bra together, "It opens in the front..." Bella breathed against my ear grabbing my hands and placing them back on her breasts. A tiny moan escaped her mouth as I released her beautifully formed breast from their captor and pulled back to study her frame again...."Beautiful..." I whispered pulling her close to me. I gently pushed her down against the pillows trailing kisses all across her stomach. "Tell me if this is too much Bella...if I overstep anything." I muttered against her stomach.

She grabbed my face to meet hers, Her beautiful brown eyes were glazed over and unfocused. She was lost in the moment as was I, "Edward, I am yours my love. Please just..." After releasing my face from her grasp she began trailing her hand across my chest down to my stomach and stopping just over the waistline of my jeans, "Take me..."She unbuttoned my jeans pushing them down as far as she could with her hands then finished with her feet. After trailing my tongue across her stomach I hovered over her bare chest, I gently kneaded and stroked her aching breasts causing her to rise against my hand. "Edward..." I ignored her pleas as my tongue traced over her aroused peaks. I captured one lush rosy nipple between my lips, whisking it around with my tongue. She ran her fingers through my hair pushing me closer to her, my hand toyed with one breast as my tongue worked her other. I began sucking and gently nibbling the breast my hand grasped, I looked up to see Bella's mouth parted with desire, "Edward, please..." My hands trailed down her stomach toying with the band of her panties, my fingers found the moist center of her womanhood. My fingers trailed the apex of her thighs as her body moved against my fingers, I removed my hand causing her to whimper. I smiled down to her and gently removed her panties then proceeded to remove my boxer briefs.

My lack of underwear showed evidence of my own instant arousal, her eyes widened as she took in the sight. She sat up on the bed kissed me gently as she wrapped her hand around my full, throbbing erection and started stroking slowly. I gasped in shock at the instant pleasure I felt, "Bella..oh god." She continued picking up the speed looking down at my penis with wide eyed wonder. I grabbed her hands and stopped her, my chest heaving trying to catch unnecessary breaths. I pushed her gently down on her back again as my fingers found the soft wet folds of her womanhood again. My fingers rubbed circles around her bundle of nerves making her hips buck against me. I slipped one finger slowly into her tightness making her hiss and rock against my touch, "Edward take me...I'm yours." I removed my hand and hovered over her. "If I hurt you...if I do something wrong...you will let me know. Are you sure Bella?" She nodded her head body was relaxed against me.

I aligned myself with her body and spread her legs gently gliding my hand up and down her sex, her hips bucked against mine grazing my penis. I could feel her warmth against my skin as if it were my own. I replaced my fingers with the tip of my penis, I guided myself slowly, inch by incredible inch, inside her stopping when her body froze under me, her warm tight depths left me shaking trying to gather the right words. "Oh god..." I panted against her neck, "Bella, this will not be pleasant at first love, this will hurt and you will....bleed." I closed my eyes trying to contain myself from letting the monster in me loose. "I know Edward, I know...please baby I want this...want you and I...I need you." She pulled me down to kiss her and her kiss was wild and passionate, nothing like I've experienced with her before. With her lips still on mine I entered her fully in one deep thrust, as she whimpered trying to get a grip of my shoulder. I paused looking down at her as she slowly unclenched her eyes to meet my gaze, "Give me a minute..." She muttered against my chest as tears fell silently along her cheeks.

"Bella we can stop..."

"NO!" She shook her head violently and took a deep breath nodding, "I'm ok now..."

"Bella..."

"No Edward, I'm good...I love this and you." She bit her lip and smiled in encouragement, I removed myself from her and re-entered her again with a driving air rushed up between us and I was hit with the metallic smell of blood. I continued to moved hard into her trying to control myself from attacking her violet colored vein throbbing in her exposed neck. Her moans brought me back to her, I had always imagined situations like this with her. We were giving in to each other, becoming one. This was it for me, she had always been it for me. Bella is who I was supposed to be with, the look in her eyes confirmed her mutual need for me. She was my forever...Her nails trailed up and down my back attempting to leave some kind of indention, we exchanged shallow pants breathing each other in which to me, made it all the more sensual. Her hands ran through my hair gently tugging with each thrust I gave, "Edward, oh god baby faster!" She panted as she captured my mouth with hungry urgency, our tongues danced sensually with and against each other and she lifted her hips to meet me thrust for thrust.

"Bella...god you feel so good. I never knew it could be this way...Oh fuck..." I felt her heartbeat pump rapidly against my chest as the walls of her womanhood clenched around my penis.

"Faster baby...Edward, I think...I huh uh arrrrgh oh my god Edward I'm cum...I'm cumming Edward." She whimpered against my ear as she placed her hand at the small of my back attempting to drive me deeper into her. The feeling of her warmth pulsating around my member sent me over the edge...she cried out with unabashed abandon as her body arched against me at the same time I felt an unfamiliar tingle began to grow inside me. I picked up the pace in frantic thrust feeling the build in my loins, her moaning made me abandon myself to the pleasure. "Edward let go baby..." Bella's hands roamed along my chest as she lifted her legs to the middle of my back making me thrust deeper into her. That was enough to get me where I needed to be, I began pumping faster against her body as she started whimpering again, "Edward, baby...uh uh oh my...uh huh god I'm cumming again..." I began to convulse against her and she began moaning louder against my ear and within minutes we climaxed together. I lingered over her still keeping myself inside her as she gasped for breath.

"I love you Bella." I kissed her moist forehead as her breathing calmed.

"Edward, you have no idea how much I love you." She pulled me down to her level as our bodies intertwined. The scent of her perspiration and rising temperature made her smell amazing. We lay there for what seemed like hours in complete silence, listening only to the sound of her heartbeat. I began to hum Strawberry Swing into her ear making her giggle against my naked chest. "I can't believe we are here...like this Edward." Our fingers danced around each other as I bent down to kiss the top of her head continuing to hum against her skin.

"Bella, and you have no idea how much I love you..." She looked up at me and kissed my nose. The blankets covering her naked form draped loosely from her as she pulled herself away from me.

"Edward?" She gazed intently at the hand she had over my chest, "I think...we should, um..." She met my gaze as she sat up to look at me properly, with a sharp dexhale she nodded her head sharply as if deciding on something. "I think we should get married..."

"What?"

"I want to marry you Edward."

"Are you sure? Why?"

"Why?" She looked shocked then looked down at her hands, "Well, forg-"

"No Bella I didn't mean why like Oh my god why, but why like...where did this come from?"

Her body relaxed and she smiled still looking down at her fingers, "It came from a place that has been without you for five years...it's coming from the place where I know I can't be without you any longer than I have go!"She got up wrapping the blanket tighter around her as she paced back and forth in front of the bed, "Lets go to Vegas! Get it done quickly." I couldn't believe what was coming out of her mouth. The love of my life wanted to be with me, wanted to spend the rest of her life with me."Or..."She continued,"We can have a small wedding here Edward. It doesn't matter where I just want to begin the rest of my life with you." I tried my best to contain my excitement, but the beautiful bright smile she wore made it impossible.

I sat up and grabbed her shoulders looking at her square in the eyes, "Lets pack. We can be in Vegas in no time. I love you and before you can change your mind...I'm taking full advantage!"

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*Please review! Like I said before...this is my first lemon


	16. Chapter16:Ever mine,ever thine ever ours

**A/N: Thank you so so sooooo much for the awesome feedback I got from the last chapter. Your reviews are welcomed and means a lot. I really appreciate your feedback. :) **

**Well, here is the chapter you lovely people have been waiting for....**

***Lemons people...not as tarty as I'd like but it's sweet just the same.***

Song: Only fools rush in covered by Ingrid Michaelson

_**&**_

Die Alone by Ingrid Michaelson

(_*Die Alone is (__my__) Bella's song) _

Chapter Sixteen: Ever thine, Ever mine, Ever ours

**Bella POV:**

What was I thinking? Was I thinking? Did I want this? What the holy hell was I thinking!?

_God I need a cigarette!_

I closed the door to my restroom and slumped against the sink. Did I just lose my virginity? Did I just lose my virginity to my seventeen year old immortal boyfriend? Wait...boyfriend? Really?!?!! The wheels in my mind where racing at a million miles an hour, I needed to calm down...I needed a cigarette! I ran the shower with the hottest water I could handle and quickly jumped in. The heat relaxed my tense muscles and I felt the racing in my mind slowly come to a stroll. I knew in my head that maybe I was rushing things but my heart...my heart wants this, I want this. The rational side of me was sending smoke signals to take a step back and re-evaluate the situation but I was tired of over thinking and over analyzing everything, I just wanted to be happy.

My heart knew this was right...and that was enough.

I began to think about life with him and how wonderful it could be. I knew from the time that I was seventeen that a life of immortality would be welcomed if that meant I got to spend forever with him. Had the years changed his opinion on the matter? Would he want that for me now that I was going to be his..._gulp..._wife?

"Bella?" His voice muffled through the door broke me from my train wreck of thoughts.

"Come in..."

I poked my head from around the shower curtain as the door opened just a crack revealing just a bit of his head, "The uh...um, the..."Edward never stuttered in-fact he was the picture of perfect annunciation. This new development was amusing. I rolled my eyes at his gentlemanly demeanor and threw a wash cloth in his direction. "Edward, I am going to be your wife soon...stop acting like you've never seen me naked." I giggled as he caught the towel and threw it back at me, he swung the door open and came to sit on the side of the tub. His eyes never left mine as he tried to form the right words without looking at my naked body, "I called the um..._ahem_... airline and secured us two seats to Nevada. The earliest flight they had was at Ten pm our time..." His eyes still burnt holes in mine and I could feel my cheeks burn.

"Sounds good." I muttered as I started washing my body again. I could hear his throat clear and the curtain close again. It was cute how modest he was, but even though he is a gentleman I hoped that the experience we just had would change his perspective a bit. I wanted him bolder, forward and less apologetic for wanting me. I was lost under the warm water when the shower curtain blew open again and a very naked Edward was suddenly standing in front of me.

"Do you mind if I wash you?" His eyes roamed over my entire body as he grabbed the wash cloth from my hands and reached for the body wash. I shook my head not able to take eyes off of his, he roamed the wash cloth over my shoulders and down my arms going across my stomach and up my back. He dropped the cloth and squeezed the soap into his hands making it into a thick lather, he finally broke eye contact to stare openly at my exposed chest. His hands gently cupped my breast massaging the soap slowly over each mound. "Beautiful." He whispered against my hair as he pulled me closer to him wrapping his arms around me. My head and my heart were finally coming together when he touched me, this was right. Our lips met with a chaste kiss before Edward held me tighter and began to suck on my bottom lip. Our mouths opened simultaneously as his tongue twined with mine, his hands gently cupped my bare breast massaging and groping as he moaned into my mouth. "I think your clean enough Bella..." He said roughly against the skin of my neck as reached around me to shut off the water. Before I knew it I was laying naked and completely soaked on the freshly made bed.

He hovered over me gently kissing my nose and both my cheeks, "I want to try something." I nodded my head and kissed his adam's apple as it bobbed up and down his throat, "and I want you to relax." He stood up before me and quickly pulled me to the very edge of the bed with my feet dangling off.

"What are you doing Edward?" I giggled trying to sit upright.

"Lay down love..." He kissed the soles of my feet and bend my knees so my feet were on the bed again, Edward slowly lowered himself to his knees staring at apex of my thighs. His finger slowly trailed up and down my sex feeling the excitement that was coming off me. His touch sent my flying as I squirmed against his fingers. "Relax love." His whispered smiling at me before he leaned down to kiss the inside of my thigh. "Bella, you smell devine..." His kisses trailed from my thigh to the very center of my womanhood. His finger found my bundle of nerves and began stoking it slowly as his other hand massaged my breast. I tangled my hand in Edward's hair pulling him closer to me, I felt a rush of warmth come over me and his finger stopped fondling the wet hardened flesh. I exhaled sharply trying to get the room to stop spinning but his tongue found the bundle of nerves his finger left behind.

"Edward, my god...please don't stop." He released my breast with a gently pinch of my nipple before reaching up to stroke my face. My hips bucked against his mouth as I pulled his head down towards me, his hand cupped my face and his finger found the edge of my lips. He looked up at my as I pulled his finger into my mouth and began rolling it around my tongue. I felt a familiar flutter in my stomach begin to build as Edwards tongue darted in and out of my opening, "Edward, lick me...faster baby." His tongue began to move quickly over my bundle of flesh causing me to moan against his hand. Edward trailed his moist finger down my chest and over a hardened nipple squeezing it harder this time. My legs began shaking as his tongue moved faster and faster. "I'm coming...I'm...oh god." A rush of heat over came me as his finger flexed inside me. I pushed his head away giggling still lost in the after glow but he was persistent, "Edward no...it tickles..."

He lifted himself to hover over me again and I could feel his throbbing erection against the inside of my thigh. "I need to feel you Bella..." He panted in my ear as he plunged his manhood deep inside me in one swift thrust. "Jesus Bella you feel so good against me..." My mouth captured his as he pumped faster and harder inside me. The fluttering in my stomach was slowly building again with each thrust he gave. I wrapped my legs around him causing him to driving deeper into my sex. I moaned loudly against his chest gently biting down on his hardened skin. We were lost in each other for what seemed like hours and neither of us grew tired.

The sky began to darken when Edward's moaning became louder against my chest. He bent down to capture a peeked nipple as I bucked my hips against his again. Just when I thought I couldn't take anymore his thrust quickened, "Bella my love come with me..." His cool breath against my damp neck sent me over the edge yet again, my end was met with Edward's final thrust hard and deep inside me. He stayed there until I rode the last of my glorious waves of splendor.

"What I don't understand...."I panted, "Is why we hadn't done that sooner..." He chuckled kissing me sweetly against the lips as he slowly pulled out of me. The loss of him suddenly made me feel sleepy, I looked over at his naked form as he grabbed a pair of boxer briefs from his suitcase. "My thoughts exactly." He said as he pulled the covers over me. "Sleep for at least an hour, I need to hunt and then we need to be off to the airport, we have to be there at least by nine." I nodded my head not registering his last words, everything was hazy around me. The last thing I remember was feeling him kiss me...

**Edward POV:**

Bella was asleep in no time, sex with her was unlike anything I had ever experienced before. I loved the step we had taken and even though it went against the way I was raised I knew this woman was the rest of my life. She was my other half...

I quickly dressed and exited her apartment before my phone began ringing. I cringed as I recognized the number flashing across the screen. "Twice in one day Alice, I feel so loved." I chuckled as she huffed over the phone.

"What do you think you are doing?" She spoke in an clipped tone.

"I am going to hunt."

"Don't be cute. You know what I mean Edward. Why do I see Bella being walked down the isle by Elvis?" I let out a deep sigh and ran my fingers through my hair pulling on it towards the end.

"Butt out Alice..."I snapped in annoyance.

"Not likely." As I said before, I love Alice...she is my sister. But sometimes.....ugh. "Bella deserves a proper wedding Edward...so do you!"

"Alice, please. We want this, I am happy and so is she. I'd be happy being married by a justice of the peace if it meant that Bella was going to be my wife. Don't make this bigger than what it needs to be." I pleaded with her hoping she would listen to reason. "Bella is the one that wanted this...just let us be."

It was quiet for a good five minutes when she finally cleared her throat to speak, "Fine."

"Thank you Alice. Did I mention that you are the best sister ever?" She loved compliments and like clockwork she began giggling like a child.

"Edward I have one tiny itty bitty tiny microscopic favor to ask..." She sang in her tiny voice. I was glad we weren't face to face, the lost puppy dog expression would have been the breaking point and I would have agreed to anything.

"No. You can't come."

"Well can I at least buy her a decent dress for the occasion?"

"No Alice, butt out." I snapped feeling horrible for my child like outburst, "I'm sorry for being so rude Alice...you are just going to make my life harder than it needs to be."

"Fine." She snapped, "Have fun in Vegas and congratulations..._brother!_" The click of the phone even sounded snippy. I felt horrible for excluding Alice but Bella wouldn't need the extra fan fair. She assured me that Vegas was what she wanted to do.

My quick hunting trip went by uneventful and I returned back to Bella's apartment shortly after eight fifteen. Bella was standing in front of her closet debating on two outfits. "I don't know what to wear." She picked out a black skirt and white blouse and a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. " Wear whatever you feel comfortable in. Bella can I ask you a question?" It was no doubt that Alice would pop into my mind at a time like this. Bella walked over to the bed patting the empty space next to her. I walked over and sat beside her holding her hands in mine. " Are you sure you want to elope? We can always wait you know..."

She looked away and frowned, "I knew I shouldn't have brought it up...too soon." She muttered to herself then looked back at me. "If you aren't ready Edward...I'm sorry for feeling like I'm rushing you."

"Bella! That's not it at all!" I jumped up in surprise, "I am just making sure this is what you want. Bella..."I took her head in my hands and smoothed my finger over her mouth, "I can't wait to spend the rest of our existence together. I want that to start now. But I have to be sure you are sure..."

"Wait...what do you mean the rest of our existence?" Bella cut me off as she lifted herself off the bed. "Edward are you planning on changing me?" We stayed staring at each other for the longest moment until she brought her hand up to my cheek. "I want nothing more than to spend all the days of my life with you. But one lifetime simply is not enough for me." Bella's hand caressed my cheek as I kissed the palm of her hand.

"Bella..." I stood us both up and looked at her square in the eye, I kissed her softly on her lips and lowered myself down on one knee. "Bella, love of my life...life of my love. Will you walk this earth by my side for eternity?" She looked down at me with tears in her eyes and nodded her head in excitement.

"Yes! Oh Edward!" I got up and spun her around in a tight hug peppering her face with kisses. "I figured since you brought up the issue about marriage it was only right to ask you to spend forever with me..." I said against her mouth bringing her into a passionate kiss.

"We need to get going..."She panted breaking away from our heated kiss, "Elvis awaits...."

The flight to Nevada was long and uneventful, Bella slept the entire trip with her headphones in her ears. I nudged Bella awake about five hours later when the seat belt warning came on, she peered out the window taking in the bright lights of Las Vegas. "I've never been to Vegas..." She muttered staring wide eyed at the lighted billboards below. She turned to look at me giving me an excited squeel, "I'm so happy I'm here with you Edward." I leaned over to kiss the top of her head as the cabin pressure of the plane shifted.

"What do you want to do first?" I asked as the plane reached the runway.

"Hmm..." She tapped her slender finger against her chin and eyed me playfully, "I say we get married ASAP."

"Okay, I am not one for denying you anything..." I chuckled, "Let's check into the hotel first and then we can got to a twenty-four hour chapel...you are sure this is how you want to do it?"

She rolled her eyes and sat back in her seat glaring at me, "Edward, I want this. I'd be happy going to the justice of the peace but this is a little more fun...embrace the trashy, even if it's for a day." She laughed and gave me a quick peck on the cheek.

Bella whistled as the cab drove into the valet area of the MGM Grand hotel, "Fancy Mr. Cullen."We arrived at check in and I all but yelled when the concierge told me the reservation had been changed. "What do you mean it's changed? I specifically requested the Marquee Suite." The trembling man twisted and bent a paper clip as I questioned the change.

"I apologize but there was a call made from your assistant rearranging your room." He shuffled the papers around trying to find the paperwork.

"My assistant?" I muttered looking back at Bella as she shrugged in confusion. She stopped shaking her head at the same time I realized who my "assistant" was.

"Alice." We both said in unison.

The concierge pulled the paper work and asked for my credit card to confirm the change, "Here we go, her name was Alice Hale. She gave us this credit card number as confirmation." The concierge grabbed two cards and signaled for the bellhop to help with the bags. "Kyle will escort you to your Suite."

"Suite?" Bella said looking at me for answers, "What is going on Edward?"

"Alice called and upgraded our hotel room." I said rolling my eyes, Alice was going to pay for her meddlesome ways.

The bellhop showed us to the elevator and slid the key along a magnet while pressing the biggest button on the lift. He turned and grinned at both of us. _She is hot! _The bellhop's gaze held Bella's a bit longer than necessary. Bella noticed his gawking and pulled herself closely to me wrapping her arms around my waist. _Lucky bastard.._When the elevator reached our floor Kyle turned the key to hold the doors open. "This is the Skyloft Suite. You have the entire floor at your disposal...shall I give you the grand tour?"

"No, thank you. We will manage..." I handed him a hundred and he retreated back to the elevator disappearing all together. The lights in the loft turned the entire glass wall into a mirror that looked back at the entire room, Bella stood there trying to peer out of the giant windows. "This place is gorgeous!" I carried the bags to the bedroom and found two garment bags laid neatly across the bed next to two shoe boxes. A note was folded neatly on top of one box with familiar script in the front that read:

_To Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen_

_A wedding gift from all of us._

_Don't complain._

_We love you!_

The garment bags had been stitched on, one with an E and the other with a B. "What has Alice done?" Bella whined as she walked over to her bag. She peeked into the bag and quickly zipped it before I could see what it was.

"I think we should get ready love." Bella looked up at me as I whispered against her ear and nodded quickly grabbing her bags and running towards the bathroom.

I opened the garment bag revealing a Black Armani suit with a crisp white dress shirt. The shoe box held my favorite dress shoes. Inside the pocket of my jacket was a velvet box that I knew straight away held my mother's wedding ring. A note was tucked inside the same pocket, to my surprise the script was that of Rosalie....

_Edward_

_I know I haven't been your biggest supporter when it comes to you and Bella but you are my brother and you are happy...so I am happy. Even though we haven't really seen eye to eye on a lot of things I just want you to know how much you mean to me as a sibling. You happiness means the world to me Edward. I took the liberty of raiding your room to find this ring...It means so much to you and I felt it was only right that you should have it on this special day. She is your soul mate and one true love, the ring was meant for her._

_Congratulations and Best of luck to you._

_Rose_

I must of read and reread that note a hundred times in shock, who knew Rose was capable of showing this much emotion? They were kind words and a great deed was done and I would be forever grateful. I quickly changed and paced back and forth in the living room of the suite. The door opened then closed and I could hear the clicking of heels against the floor. My back was still facing the reflective glass when I caught her reflection coming out of the room. She was wearing an white cocktail length dress with a flower pinned on the side, her high heels where matching extenuating her beautiful legs. She was absolutely breathtaking with her hair flowing down her back with loose curls.

I was mesmerized by the image of Bella in that dress, she was heaven sent. Her face flushed as she fidgeted against the doorway, "Alice picked this dress and had the entire counter in the restroom set up with makeup and hair products. But these shoes..."She lifted a leg to show me the white heels, "Are death traps!"

"Bella, you have no idea how beautiful you look right now...I..I am a loss for words."

"Thank you Edward." Her face lit up, cheeks flaming. "Let's go! Oh I'm so excited!" She squealed squeezing my arm. We made it down to the lobby when Bella stopped in her tracks tugging on my arm. The familiar scent hit my nose...

"Alice...what are you doing?" Alice was bouncing up and down clapping her hands like a cheerleader when she caught sight of us together.

"Oh my gosh! You two look perfect!" She squealed rushing over to capture us in a tight squeeze, "Edward I am not going to get in your way or demand that you have a done up wedding, I am simply here to make sure everything is perfect..." She covered my mouth knowing I was about to speak and playfully furrowed her eyebrows, "I've made arrangements with this hotel to use a chapel for an after hours ceremony. Bella wanted to do the Vegas thing so I paid an Elvis impersonator to come and officiate the ceremony." She giggled looking over to Bella, "You know...embrace the trashy." Bella blushed at her remark and nodded in agreement. Alice led us to the a chapel where the eccentric minister dressed in the infamous Elvis jumpsuit greeted us. Bella hid her face against my chest and let out uncontrollable giggles. There in the front stood my family, our family. Carlisle and Esme were sitting down staring at us while my siblings were standing around shifting nervously towards us. "Please don't be mad."Alice pleaded looking at me with her innocent eyes, "We wanted to be here to witness this milestone brother."

"DANG BELLA! YOU ARE LOOKING HOT!" Emmett barked out as he went to left Bella in his arms, "I've missed you kiddo!" Bella's face turned a bright red as he spun her around in a circle then set her down winking at me, _She is beautiful Eddie. The years have been good to her!_

"Emmett calm yourself." Esme stood up and took Bella gently in her arms, "It's so good to see you Bella, you look exquisite." _Son, you have no idea how happy I am for you right now..._Esme's gaze locked on me as she kept Bella in an embrace. Carlisle walked around Esme and patted Bella on the back gently. Bella turned to greet him as he planted a soft kiss on her forehead, "We've missed you Bella."

"I've missed you all too!" She wiped her tears staring at the entire family. Jasper came out from behind the tiny group and pulled Bella into a hug. "Bella, you have no idea how sorry I am.."

"No Jasper." Bella's grip tightened around him, "That was the past and there is honestly nothing to forgive. I don't blame you for anything....I've only missed you!" Jasper's eyes closed and his hold tightened and then released giving her a kiss on the cheek. _I am so happy that things are finally as they should be. The love coming off you two is something else..._

"Can I please get in on this too?" Rosalie's voice cut off all the chattering and all eyes fell on her. "I mean, I have to say hi to my new sister." She gave Bella a hug and a kiss on the cheek, "You look beautiful Bella." Emmett eyed Jasper who looked at me in confusion._ She is sincere..._

_Edward, Rose just wants you to be happy bro._

_Edward, I haven't seen you this happy in the five years you two have been apart. I accept her as your other half and as a part of this family....but if you tell anyone what I wrote in that note or what I'm telling you now so help me..._Rose's thoughts promised violence as she released Bella from her grip. "Thank you for getting the ring..."I whispered into Rosalie's ear as I pulled her into a hug. Emmett and the entire family stared in shock at this sudden display of affection. _Don't mention it.._She smiled and returned to Emmett's side. "Okay! Are we ready?" Alice interrupted the awkward silence left after the hug.

The Elvis officiate mumbled something about the time as he reached for this bible. _Why couldn't they wait until later tonight to do this...it's almost three in the morning, I have a golf game at nine. Oh well, the money is worth it. I wonder who they are? Why the top secret stuff...hmmm oh well. _

"Would you do me the honor of letting me walk you down the isle Bella?" Carlisle asked staring at me, _She is like a daughter to me...I feel it's only right. _I nodded in agreement knowing that Bella had always been apart of this family, no matter what I did they would always love Bella like a daughter or sister. "You are like a daughter to me..."

Bella threw her arms around him and sniffled, "Oh Carlisle I would be so happy if you would...thank you." Carlisle wiped her tears and kissed her on the cheek.

Elvis began the ceremony in his watered down impression of Elvis and Bella couldn't stop staring at the wig tape hanging from his forehead. She turned to stare at me with flushed cheeks as I tried to stifle my laughter.

Our eyes met lost in the moment, I couldn't believe I was marrying my Bella. After all these years apart, after all that time convincing myself that I was never going to be happy...she was standing in front of me. Looking at me like I was the one, she was my one...my one true love. The entire room disappeared as our fingers touched, her hand tightened around mine when the minister asked for the vows.

"I Isabella, take you Edward to be my husband, my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before. I will _trust_ you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward for as long as we both shall live."

I wiped the tears from her face leaning in to kiss her when the Elvis impersonator placed his hand on my chest, "Wait a minute sonny...not yet." Coughs and muffled laughter overcame the time audience that was my family and Bella's face blushed again. "Dang" She muttered still looking at me.

"You have to say your vows sonny..."

"I Edward, take you my beautiful Isabella to be my wife, my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before. I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you,_ loving you faithfully through good times and bad_, regardless of the obstacles we may face together. I give you my hand,_ my heart_, and my love, from this day forward _for as long as we both shall live._" I said slowly emphasizing the 'for as long as we both shall live'

Carlisle handed me my mother's ring and then handed Bella a thick gold band, "This belonged to my father..."He told Bella placing the ring in her hand, "He passed it down to me and now I am giving it to my son..." Carlisle placed his hand on my shoulder and squeezed gently. _You make me proud son..._

The minister cleared his throat and bellowed in a sing song voice,"With the power vested in me by the state of Nevada I now pronounce you husband and wife...ok NOW you can kiss her..." Bella flung her arms around my neck as our lips met softly against each other. I couldn't contain my happiness any longer, she was my wife...my partner in life. I dipped her down still lost in the passionate kiss we were sharing. Our little bubble was popped when we heard Emmett and Jasper hooting and hollering, "That's what I'm talking about!!" Emmett barked out in laughter. I brought Bella back up to her feet as the beautiful rouge color came back to her cheeks.

The minister stepped back up to the makeshift podium and announced in his terrible impersonation our first introduction....

"Ladies and Gentleman...it's my pleasure to introduce Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen."

* * *

Please review...Toodle loo


	17. Chapter 17:After me comes the flood

***Hello loveys! Here is an important chapter in the story, I don't really listen to music from Rihanna ( not knocking her at all she's got a pretty voice...it's just not my style) but I think this song describes this situation perfectly. **

***Heavy use of violence and language in the following chapter so if you are easily offended, stop reading right....NOW!**

***More A/N at the bottom.**

Song: Claire de Lune by Debussy

&

Russian Roulette by Rihanna

Chapter Seventeen: After me comes the flood

Bella POV:

We, well I, stayed up until almost nine in the morning catching up with Edward's family...our family. He carried me into our room after catching me before I stumbled drowsily over the shoes Alice picked for me. As soon as he laid me on our bed I was suddenly hit by a second wind, fully awake and needing him...my husband. Wow, husband...who would have thought, I was happy and in love. The past didn't matter anymore and for once, all I cared about was the future...our future. Edward was my future and I was his. Maybe I moved too fast, maybe I was acting out of grief, I didn't care...I don't care. I need him in my life just as much as he needs me. He unzipped my dress slowly tugging it down, his eyes exploring every inch of skin that was being relieved to him; like an excited child on Christmas morning. "Isabella Cullen," He whispered against the my stomach, "my wife, my love." His cool breath against my bare stomach made my body squirm against him with anticipation. "Do you have any idea how happy you have made me love?" Edward's beautiful golden eyes never left mine as his hands left not patch of skin untouched. I shook my head unable to form proper words, my mind was lost in his touch and gentle kisses. I whimpered at the loss of his touch when he moved, before I knew it I was straddled over him. A single finger caressed my skin from shoulder to shoulder gently tracing the outline of my bra stopping just about the band of my underwear.

My hands began roaming slowly undoing the buttons on his shirt running my fingers through the soft, almost invisible hair on his chest. I bent down to kiss his chest making his body lift against mine, "Edward, I love you." I took his hand in mine and held it to my chest, "You are my life now..." I whispered against his knuckles as I grazed them with my lips. He lifted himself to holding my head to his and kissed me softly against my lips. "My husband...Oh my god Edward, We're married!"I giggled against his mouth bouncing around like a kid. He joined me in my fit of laughter and for the moment, we were like two big kids rolling and bouncing around the bed. He tickled the inside of my thighs as I tried wrestling him off me, all my flailing didn't help matters; the more I fought the more he tickled.

He caught my head between his hands exchanging the light hearted moment for a serious one, "You make me feel human again Bella, I love you."

"I love you." I crashed my lips against his with a hunger I could not control, it came from the the very depths of my stomach. It was an overwhelming need, like an addict fending for a hit. I felt possessive, desire, love and desperation all wrapped in our embrace.

_This is where I belong._

I woke to the sounds of rattling china and clinking glass, I could smell the burger and fries coming from under the covered plates. My stomach rumbled but my eyes were not ready to open and greet the day; A cool hand ran up my naked back pushing my hair away from my neck. "Wake up love, it's nearly five." He spoke against my neck kissing softy at the nape, " We have a plane to catch."

I rolled over on my back exposing myself to him as his hands gently cupped each breast, I shrieked at the coolness against my skin. "Okay I'm up!" I laughed sitting up attempting to gather my tangled hair into a messy bun.

"Leave it down Bella, you are beautiful...like a goddess." I rolled my eyes at his insane remark and continued to wrap my hair. Edward stopped my hands and undid my twist letting my hair fall around my face again. "Perfect." He said handing me a glass of water.

"What time is our flight?" I stretched back against the bed pulling the covers over my head, "I feel like I just went to sleep...I'm so exhausted."

"I'm sorry you didn't sleep love." I peeked from under the covers watching his face. He didn't look sorry, he looked...smug.

"Divine exhaustion." I yawned stretching my arms out in front of me, the thin blankets hovered over me almost like a teepee. I looked at the delicate ring on my left hand smiling to myself, Edward hovered over me under our makeshift teepee sliding his hands under my shoulders gripping gently, with one slow thrust he was in me again. I let out a whimpering moan as his mouth captured mine, the blankets landed lightly around us. "What about the plane..." I panted as his pace quickened making me forget where we were. His thrusts were deep and hard, my hands roamed desperately to the small of his back pushing him closer to me. He released his hands from around my shoulders taking himself out of me. Edward got to his knees and lifted my leg kissing from my toes to my calf, I lay there whimpering, begging for him again. "Edward please..."

He lifted my leg over his shoulder and glided upward deep inside me, "Jesus Bella..." He panted as his one hand cupped my breast and the other gripped my waist driving me harder into him.

"Oh god!" I moaned as his hand gripped my breast harder and his pace increased.

"I'm don't want to hurt you Bella..." He grunted against my leg, I grasped his thighs and began thrusting harder against him. "I trust you Edward...oooh my god, I'm gonna cum baby..." I cried out searching for anything to hold on to. I felt blindly around until I found the soft down pillow at the edge of the bed, I grabbed it quickly covering my face trying to muffle the screaming. The pillow was ripped in two by the sharp tugs of Edward's hand and my teeth, feathers flew everywhere around us as he cupped his hand in the back of my head.

"I want to see you Bella, don't hide from me." His eyes rolled to the back of his head and muttered incoherently. My hands caught his face until his eyes met mine again. "Bella..." His pace quickened hitting my sweet spot dead on. I felt the familiar tightness in my stomach as the wonderful pressure built climbing up to my throat, Edward's lips searched mine as I moaned desperate for breath into his open mouth . We were lost in each other trying desperately to keep the pleasure at its peak but the human in me tired too soon it seemed. After my third climax my body was spent but my need for him never faltered. I couldn't wait to be immortal, I couldn't help but wonder how amazing it would be as equals...the limitless possibilities.

"Edward, let go baby..."My nails gently skimmed up his bare back pushing him faster into me, "Cum for me Edward." I panted as his final thrusts brought me into my fourth and final wave of pleasure. He collapsed on top of me repeating my name over and over peppering my moist face and neck with kisses.

"Your scent is more potent when we're like this...I love it, and you." He placed his head on my chest listening to the rapid beating of my heart. My heart slowed to a normal rhythm when he spoke again. "I think we missed our flight love.." I attempted to sit up when a wave of vertigo suddenly hit me, I flew back into the pillow making the feathers fly around us.

"I can't believe I bit a pillow." I said feeling my cheeks burn with embarrassment.

"It was both of us." He laughed, "Are you okay Bella?"

"I just got dizzy all of a sudden probably from all the laying down I've been doing." I winked kissing his nose. I sat up slowly this time and began walking towards the living room. The sky was pitch black lit only with the bright Vegas lights. I took a seat at on the sofa facing the view amazed with the gorgeous colors coming into the room.

"We can always take a later flight." Edward sat next to me holding the plate with the now cold burger. I took a huge bite shaking my head in disgust.

"It taste ugly now..bleh." He laughed smoothing the crease above my eyebrow.

"We can order you something else...what do you feel like eating?"

"I want eggs, scrambled eggs with ketchup. Oh! And can you ask for juice?" The food came quickly and I all but inhaled it down in a minute. I don't think I even I chewed, Edward sat next to me smiling his beautiful smile amused at my behavior. "What?" I asked mouth partially full.

"You're just cute...sex makes you hungry."

"Marathon sex makes me hungry." I countered as his mouth twisted up in amusement.

"Noted." He got up to check out cell phones, "Four missed calls, from Alice and Khloe..."I shook my head laying back patting my stomach in satisfaction. "Full?" He asked taking the plate away and laying with his head on my lap across the sofa. He dialed the number to the airport and made booked us a flight for the last plane to Boston, it was leaving in fours hours so we packed quickly and headed to the airport.

"Are we not going to check out?" I asked as he loaded the cab with our bags,

"Alice will take care of it."

"Ooookay." I rifled through my bag in the looking for a piece of gum, Edward was texting Alice when the pack of cigarettes flew out of my bag. He looked up from his phone and bent down to grab them from the floor.

"This," He picked up the offensive pack and twirled it around in his fingers before crushing it into a small ball, "Needs to stop...it's not healthy Bella. Please?"

"I only smoke when I'm under pressure...I haven't had one in a long time."

"How long is a long time to you?" He asked.

"A week or so.." I bit my lip trying to stop myself from smiling. I was a horrible liar and he knew that...Edward rolled his eyes and tossed the ball of nicotine goodness out of the window.

"A week? I think it was more like two days ago..."

"Dammit." I muttered staring out the open window, "Those things are expensive."

The plane landed in Boston early in morning, it was still dark out when Edward nudged me awake. The plane was almost empty, burning cheeks and all I surveyed the audience looking at me and hid behind Edward's arm, "The plane landed an almost twenty minutes ago," he whispered into my ear too low for the waiting flight attendants to hear, "I didn't want to carry you out like along with our carry on, it wouldn't have looked right."

"I feel like I just went to sleep." I muttered, my voice still thick with sleep. We got up and gathered our things making our way out of the plane. I apologized to the flight attendants and we proceeded to the waiting car parked in the loading zone. It took us an hour to arrive back to my place, morning traffic was horrible but I slept again along the way. I woke in the warmth of my bed in a panic searching frantically for him. His hands found mine in the dark wrapping snug around me, "Bella, you've slept all day love. It's nearly five in the morning, don't you have to work today?"

"Shit! I slept all of Monday?!" I shrieked kicking the covers off, scurrying around my room.

"You were tired Bella. I called your assistant and told her you were sick with strep but you would be well enough to attend today." He took me in his arms swaying me to the music coming from my neighbor's place. He sniffed along my neck groaning against my hair, "I need to hunt soon." He stepped in front of me locking his black eyes to mine.

"Why don't you go while I'm at work?" His brows furrowed as if deciding on something that bothered him.

"I don't want to leave you alone."

"I won't be alone baby, I will be okay. You can get me from school at three."

Edward looked pensive but nodded his head slowly in reluctance, "Alice said she saw him coming on Monday, he never showed. I think that he might have taken heed in my warning. Either way, I will call Alice and have her look again." It was a quarter to six when I jumped into the shower to begin my day, I leaned my body against the wall taking comfort in the warm water running along my back. I slipped into unconsciousness for second wishing for another hour or so to sleep. I had never been so exhausted in my entire life, I chalked it up to recent events and shut off the water trying to keep my eyes open. My apartment smelled of bacon and eggs, my stomach churned making the idea of eating almost nauseating. I walked lazily to my closet pulling together an outfit, I chose my favorite draped silk cardigan and wool wide leg slacks. I dug through my drawers for a white muscle shirt and crawled under my bed for my black ballet flats. I Spent about thirty minutes on my hair and applying light makeup around my dark circles. I exited the bedroom in a rush fidgeting with my eyeglasses searching for my book bag. Edward was sitting at the kitchen table reading the paper, he lifted his arm dangling my bag from it's straps.

"You look beautiful." He stood up pulling a chair out for me, "Glasses become you."

"Thank you." He pushed a plate of eggs in front of me, the smell was disgusting to me. I heaved pushing the plate away and darted to the kitchen sink. Edward held my hair back gently rubbing my back as the sounds of my heaving roared in my ears.

"Bella! Are you okay? What..."He was interrupted by the sounds of vomit and running water.

"Go away Edward, I don't want..." The smell was still in my nose, it made speaking so hard to do. "The..the eggs...go away, get them.." Edward disappeared for a moment tossing the plate into the trash,

"Bella I am not going anywhere. What's the matter?" His voice sounded broken with worry, Edward continued to gently rub my back in circles until the nausea passed.

"I don't know what it was, the smell of the eggs was off." I walked to the restroom and began to brush my teeth, Edward leaned against the door frame watching me intently. "I'm okay Edward. I think it's everything that's going on right now. My nerves finally caught up with me..." My father's sudden passing still weighed heavy on my heart, I missed him. Edward's return, my falling out with Jake...my best friend. Joseph going postal and now this? I am a married woman, it's no wonder I've slept so much...my mind is worn.

"Are you regretting Vegas?" He asked with worry written across his face.

"Hell no." I took his head in my hands and kissed him softly. "I am happy. Now, lets go before I am even more late." I stuffed a bottle of Peptol Bismol into my bag as Edward went to start my car.

We arrived at the high school in record time, the grin on Edward's face was priceless as he inspected the gauges in my car. "Bella, I still cannot believe you own a '69 Nova. What is it with you and classics?" He laughed caressing the dashboard. "You've kept it in great condition love."

"Just be careful with it, it was Charlie's." I toyed with the handle skimming over the leather interior, "He gave it to me when I graduated college." Students were crowding into the school when I noticed Olivia standing there with Mr. Locke, the biology teacher. They were staring at my car in confusion wondering why it was parked in a red zone. "I've got to go, I get out at three Edward. I will meet you here..."

Edward leaned in kissing my lips with chaste thumbing my bottom lip, "Have a wonderful day at school. I love you."

"I love you. Have fun hunting..." I winked as I stepped out of the car.

I jumped back into my classes with ease being warmly welcomed back by grateful students. They hated the sub and playfully threatened me if I left again. The entire school faculty knew about my job offer and the long list of questions began. School went on until twelve that day, I had forgotten early release was held every other Tuesday for staff development day. I decided to skip the meeting and grab a cab home instead, Edward would be surprised....

Khloe POV:

I had been trying to get a hold of Bells for two days now, we never really went longer than a day without talking. I was worried that Edward went back on his word to never leave her forcing her back into the arms of Joseph. Joseph was not good for her, he was shameless and chauvinistic. His pig headed ideals left Bella heartbroken but because he was a bully, she turned the other cheek. It was around ten in the morning when I decided to call Bella again, it went straight to voicemail; that's when panic set. I made calls to Vanessa and Roxy and neither of them heard from her, I was frantic with worry knowing Joseph had always had a temper. I made the decision to stop by her apartment, I left work early leaving my assistant to cover my class. I walked quickly up the stairs in Bella's complex dialing her number again for the hundredth time. When I reached the edge of the stairs I saw Bella's door ajar and slowly opening on it's own with the breeze of the cool wind. My gut told me this was wrong, something was wrong...Without thinking, I flung the door open and ran inside yelling her name. I reached her bedroom and saw no signs of her. I walked back into the living room breathing a sigh of relief until I heard the front door close gently. I looked up reluctantly to see Joseph pacing in front of the door tapping a copy of Bella's key against his palm.

"Hey KK, you are not who I expected to see you here." He spoke softly with a fake innocence that made me sick to my stomach.

"What are you doing here Joe?" I asked walking slowly towards the door. His hands were on my shoulders stopping me from fleeing the apartment. "Let me go..."

"Oh come on Khloe, we've always been friends. Bella gave me a key last year, I am here to pick up some things." His grip tightened around my shoulders shooting sharp pains down my back.

"Bullshit Joe. Bella broke up with you and you flipped your shit, she finally got tired of making up excuses for your sorry ass." I spat as Joe smiled in annoyance digging his nails deeper into my skin. I yelped which seemed to please him. "Let me go Joe."

"Bella didn't break up with me Khloe, we are fine...it's just a misunderstanding." He sounded almost manic as he pushed me further away from the door.

"Joe let me go." I whimpered trying to squirm my way out. His grip finally loosened as he pushed me into a coffee table. My knee bumped the corner making me stumble onto the couch in pain, I fumbled myself back up and continued to walk backwards towards the door. "You are insane Joe. Don't you get it? She doesn't want to be with you...deal with it."

"Who is the guy who answered her phone?"

"What guy?" I asked as he pushed me back onto the sofa.

"Don't bullshit me Khloe, that fag who got brave with me on the phone, is she with him right now?" He had clenched a wad of my hair pulling me further down into the sofa.

"God dammit Joe!! Let me go you fucking lunatic!" I managed to scream before he covered my mouth shushing me, I could feel his spit flying across my face as the tears pooled in my eyes.

"Not until you tell me who he is Khloe..." He sang in a singsong voice.

He released his hand from my mouth and patted my head like a dog, "His name is Edward, he is an ex of hers that came into town for Charlie's funeral. They are just friends Joe."

Joe growled incoherently as picked me up by my shirt tossing my like a rag doll to the floor, "BULLSHIT!" I covered my head trying to block whatever he was throwing around me. "Where is she?" He spat out after me managed to calm himself down.

"I don't fucking know you asshole." I snapped rubbing my elbow, he growled again and lifted me up by my shirt again. I felt a sharp smack as he fist connected with my jaw, I was seeing double Joe as he stood over me. "Is this what makes you feel like a man Joe? Beating women...oh your such a man you fucking prick." I spat the blood out trying to see straight.

His hands tangled into my hair as he picked me up to look me in the eyes, "Fuck you and your little friend...a bunch of cock teasing bitches, but I will show you." His grabbed my face and kissed my cheek gently as I whimpered with disgust. I managed to push him away and run for the door when a pair of hands grabbed my hair and pulled me back down to the floor. Joe straddled me as his fist met my face over and over in sharp painful blows. Whatever fight I had left in me seemed to be fruitless, the last thing I remember was the sharp pains stabbing my rib cage....

Bella POV:

I made it to my apartment in record time, I slowly walked up the stairs thinking about Edward and New York. Excited about starting a new life with him, I giggled to myself and started hopping up the stairs. My train of happy thoughts were immediately disrupted by the welcome mat in front of my door, it had been flipped over and the hide a key was gone. I knew it couldn't be Edward, he had my car keys..._Joseph._

My heart jumped towards my throat when realization hit me, _he is going to kill you._ I searched my book bag frantically for the pepper spray Charlie always insisted I carry and my cell phone. I turned it on and shot Edward a quick text:

_**12:37 PM: Edward, I got out early. Someone took my hide a key from under the rug...**_

Almost immediately my phone vibrated in response.

_**12:39 PM: Don't you dare go inside. Wait for me outside Bella and call the police!**_

Joseph was a fire fighter, the police department would believe anything he had to say, I couldn't. My phone started buzzing off the wall with unheard voice mails and unread text messages. Texts from Roxy,Vanessa and Alice but the one that stood out was from Khloe:

_**9:30 AM: I don't know why you are not picking up your phone Bella Swan but I am heading over to your place this instant! How dare you make us all worry, we haven't heard from you in almost two days. Be ready to explain lady.**_

I sighed in relief walking up the stairs again and opened the unlocked door in haste. "Khloe? I am so sor- KHLOE!!!" I saw her laying in the middle of my living room covered in blood, I dropped down to my knees to check her pulse...she was barely breathing. "Oh god Khloe no! Who did this to you?" I cried frantically as my phone started buzzing again, Edward was calling and as soon as I hit the talk button a rough hand came behind me and grabbed my hair, I yelped in surprise as his hand covered my mouth.

"Shhh, don't scream baby...it's only me." Joseph was holding me from behind breathing in my hair. "God I missed you Izzie." He released me turning me around to face him, "You look so beautiful."

The tears in my eyes blurred my vision of him but I could see the blood stained hands that held mine, I always hated the sight of blood and began to feel nauseated when the smell hit my nose. "Wha..what do you want Joe. What are you doing here?"

"I want you Izzie, I came for you..."He picked us up and embraced me tightly cutting off circulation to my arms, "You didn't think I'd just let you go without a fight did you baby?" He moved my hair away from my face kissing my forehead. I gasped in disgust pushing him away from me.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY FRIEND YOU BASTARD!" I screamed running towards her again, "You sick fuck Joe!" His hand caught my arm and swung me back to him removing the loose strands of my hair away from my face again.

"Settle down Izzie. I won't hurt you like that...I'd never dream of it." He tried to kiss my mouth but I pulled away, his hand gripped my chin harder and pushed his lips roughly to mine. "Wow Bella, what? No kiss?"

"I can't Joe." I cried, attention still fixed on my barely breathing friend.

"And why not Izzie, I'm you boyfriend...or fiancee'"

"You are neither Joe, I ended it remember? You have that girl...go to her, please...please just leave." I pleaded trying to pull away.

"Jennifer is...well, Jennifer is taken care of Iz, it's just you and me I promise." He held our hands to his chest trying to make eye contact with me. The phone on the floor was in connection to Edward's and the thought of him not too far away gave me the courage to stand up to Joe.

I sharply withdrew myself from his grasp and walked backwards toward Khloe, My hand gripped the nozzle of pepper spray in my bag. " You need to leave Joe, I am a married woman now...you have no right to be here."

"Married?" He huffed in suspicion, "Bella you are not married...yet."

"Joe my husband will be home soon, please...please leave before someone else gets hurt." I pleaded holding up my hand that wore delicate ring.

"Fuck you Bella!" He snapped charging towards me, he was quick. He managed to slap my face twice before I was able to spray him. He tumbled to his knees cursing out loud and I took the opportunity to run into my room closing the door behind me. I ran into my closet searching for the box that held the gun Charlie had given me in desperate measure. The banging on the door startled me as the boxes fell around me. The dark brown hand gun fell from the now broken box sending the bullets rolling around the floor. I dropped to my knees trying to gather a couple into the chamber jumping each time he banged the door. I managed to load the Colt and stood slowly behind the bed, I pointed the gun towards the weak door watching him use his weight to knock it off it's hinges. I scrambled for the cordless phone dialing 911, as soon as the operator picked up I whispered my address and tossed the open phone on the bed. With one quick and final kick the door swung open and Joe walked in, his face was red and his eyes were manic and bloodshot. "What are you going to do with that you little bitch? Shoot me?" He walked towards the bed with his eye on the gun, he stopped when I pulled the safety back and pointed it at him. "I am going to enjoy you...then kill you like the others...you are weak Bella." My hand that held the gun started shaking as Joseph smiled victoriously.

"Bella?!" We were interrupted by the Edward's frantic voice. He zipped towards my room and Joe turned to see him.

"Oh, so this is the little husband huh?" Joe turned around to face him.

Edward's jaw tensed as he saw Khloe lying lifeless on the floor and the bruise forming on my cheek, "Joseph, I asked you to leave Bella alone." He walked towards him balling his hands into a tight fist, Edward pushed Joe into the room tumbling over him, Joe punched Edward and flinched when his fist contacted with Edward's chin. The crunching noise broke me from my daze as Joseph screamed in pain.

"What the fuck are you?" Joseph spat pushing Edward off of him. Edward grabbed Joseph by the head and rammed his head into the wall.

Edward pulled Joe's head out of the wall and smiled at him, "I told you to leave her the fuck alone...did you listen?" He rammed Joe's head back into the wall, "No. You didn't." He removed it again and threw Joe on the floor.

I ran into the living room dropping myself beside Khloe, I picked up her bruised and bloodied body rocking her in my arms, "Oh Khloe please...please don't go. Breath for me sweetie please!" Her pulse was weak, she was trying to cough up the blood that flooded her mouth so I turned her to her side so she could try and spit. "Khloe? Khloe sweetie open your eyes." The loud crashing in my room silenced as a thud hit the floor. I squeezed Khloe against me shutting my eyes in fear of who would be coming out of the room. I began muttering against Khloe's blood soaked hair that it would be ok when cool hands wrapped around me.

"Bella love, it's okay. You are going to be fine." He pulled away to reach for Khloe, he checked her vitals again and flipped open his phone. "I need an ambulance, 4302 Jamaican...yes that's it please hurry." He snapped the phone shut and checked Khloe's pulse again. "She's bleeding in her brain." He spoke as if to himself as I began to sob into his chest. Edward's chest crashed into me with force as he toppled over Khloe and I. The next thing I knew I was being dragged by my hair away from Khloe into my bedroom slamming the battered door shut. I looked up to see a swollen version of Jake pulling me up and throwing me to the bed he slapped me one almost knocking me out, in all the excitement I forgot I had the gun in my hand as Edward busted the door down in one swift kick and pushed Joe off of me.

I scrambled towards the pillows grasping at the gun clicked the safety back again, both Edward and Joseph stopped fighting to look over towards me. The gun was shaking in my hand as I pointed it towards the blury vision of Joe. "Come on Bella pull the trigger...do it you little bitch." Edwards fist met Joe's nose and a fountain of blood spewed from his nose.

"Bella, my love..my wife...put the gun down." Edwards soothing voice brought pools of tears to my eyes as Joe grunted in pain.

"I knew you were weak Izzie, that's why I kept you around. You were so stupid...WEAK and stupid." Joe badgered as Edward hit him again. Joe grabbed a piece of iron from the now broken bed and smacked Edward across the face. Edward fell as I heard the snap of a neck.

"Edward!!" I screamed as Joe came at me again. I pointed the gun at him again stopping him in his tracks.

"Izzie-Bella you fucking tease...weak, ugly pathetic excuse for a woman..." I closed my eyes as he charged towards me, my finger pulled the trigger as I slowly opened my eyes again. Edward was standing over Joe's lifeless body holding his hands up for the gun.

"Bella? Look at me love..." My eyes were stuck on the bullet hole in Joe's head. My tears streamed down my face as the faint sounds of an ambulance came into hearing range. "Look at me Bella!" Edward snapped shaking my shoulders gently, "Drop the gun Bella..." His hands closed around the barrel of the gun and pulled it away from my hands. I covered my face with my hands falling into Edward's embrace. "Shh Bella, it's okay now...please love, don't cry."

"I killed him Edward...I killed him."

**okay! Wow that was crazy to write! It took me a while to actually think it all out...yeesh.**

**Anywho, I hope you liked it. **

****FYI: I do not condone any type of violence towards women or men...or violence in general...this is just a story so please don't be offended. **

****I won't be updating for a couple of weeks ( I have my intern exams I need to be studying for) but I will be uploading the finished chapters of my other story 'Fire and Ice'.**NOT TO WORRY I WILL UPDATE AS SOON AS EXAMS ARE OVER  
**

****please review...toodle loo!!**


	18. Chapter Eighteen: Plans

Chapter Eighteen: Plans

**Bella POV:**

"Miss Swan?...Miss Isabella Swan?" The police officer tried getting my attention but I couldn't tear my eyes away from the Medical Examiner. He hovered over Joseph's lifeless body our eyes met for a second as he covered the 'corpse' with an orange tarp.

"You can take him Billy." The Examiner said nodding to the paramedics. The young guys lifted his body from the floor into a back bag lying open on a gurney. The sound of the zipper made me cringe away from whoever was touching my arm.

"Miss Swan can you hear me?"

I turned to see the empty spot in the living room where Khloe's body was, panic set in...finally. _Oh my fucking god! What did I do?_ I dug my face in my hands and let the tears flow. I wasn't about keeping my cool, I was going fucking crazy. I felt the bed shift and Edward's cool hands wrapped around my shoulder.

"Shh Bella it's okay." He whispered into my ear trying to soothe my uncontrollable bawling. The officer was on his knees in front of me scribbling on his notepad.

"Miss Swan I have some questions-"

"It's Mrs. Cullen." Edward cut in sharply, "Can you give her a minute? She has been through a lot."

"We have a crime scene psychologist she could talk to at the station, we have to take her in for questioning." The officer's face expressionless, as if this procedure was nothing new to him...I missed my father. The officer reached to grab me but Edward moved my arm from away from the officer's hand.

"Can you give her a minute?" He asked again, it sounded more like a plea this time. The officer nodded and stood up tucking the notepad in his pocket.

"Five minutes." He said as he walked away.

Edward lifted us off the bed and grabbed my jacket, "Bella they all know this was in self defense...trust me." He pulled me into his arms and hugged me as tight, "We have to go to the station now love, you have to give your statement. Bella? Do you understand?" I was numb, I could hear what he was telling me but I couldn't find it in me to respond. I was thinking of Khloe. Was she alive? I couldn't form the question in my head to ask. I could still feel the vibrating in my hands from the gun blast, the smell of the gun powder and dried blood saturated the room. The pool of blood on the floor was circled by little yellow markers marked with numbers and the camera clicking of the crime scene unit began to echo in my head. I couldn't take it anymore.

"I hate the smell of blood." I finally muttered dropping Edward's hand I sprinted to the restroom. Edward pulled my hair away from the line of fire rubbing my back in small circles. I could feel my face redden as my heaving interrupted the uncontrollable sobs, I couldn't breath...

**Edward POV:**

Bella became unresponsive when I took the gun from her shaking hands, she sat slowly on the bed staring at Joe's body. Three police officers busted open the door to the living room with their guns out searching the apartment. A female officer came across Khloe's body and bent down to check her pulse , _Jesus Christ her face.._She called for the paramedics to come up. "Steven! Get your guys up here now she's still breathing." The two other officers came into the bedroom yelling at me to drop the gun, I did and raised my hands to show I was not armed.

"Please, my wife was attacked by her ex." I pleaded, "She was hit pretty bad before I came in to help, he hit me once with a piece of the iron bed and I was out cold." The officer pulled out his hand cuffs and slowly walked towards me, "By the time I came to Bella, my wife, was standing over his body...she is in shock, please.." The officer looked over to Bella, she was staring at her hands and muttering to herself that she killed him. Within five minutes the apartment was full of officers and paramedics, everyone was buzzing around her apartment taking fingerprints and collecting the gun from the scene.

_She was lucky to come out of this with just a black eye and a swollen cheek,her friend doesn't look too good._

_Yup, the man got what he deserved._

_I always knew there was something up with Joseph, his temper was too volatile. _

_That tiny little thing shot him? Judging by the bruises and marks on Joe's body she held her own._

I wished, for that one minute, that I was unable to hear the inner workings of their minds. I wanted peace and quiet...I wanted Bella to be left alone and away from this mess. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and saw the fifty missed calls from Alice, Carlisle, Rose and every other member of our family. I sent a quick text to Carlisle letting him know the state Bella was in. She was in shock but had the blows to her head affected her?

"Who are you to this woman?" The female officer asked staring at the swelling on Bella's face. The paramedic was looking over her trying to ask her questions. He looked up at the officer shaking his head then moved on to Joe's body.

"I am her husband. My name is Edward Cullen."

_I didn't know Bella was married, must be why Joe lost his shit..._The officer thought as she glared in Bella's direction. _Wonder how long she's been married..._

"We were only married yesterday." I interrupted her stupid thoughts and walked over to Bella's side.

"Officer Tandy, the operators have evidence recorded. We need to get her downtown for a statement." The younger male officer walked in and looked around the room, he let out a low whistle and walked over towards Bella, _She's one of the lucky ones. _

"Good luck rookie, she's been unresponsive since we got here." She looked back at me and began writing again, "Can you explain to me what happened here?" _Poor Joe, one of our best fire fighters...She was probably cheating, he loved her so much...bitch._

Never in my existence had I ever thought about raising my hand to a woman, today I had to fight the urge with everything I had. I have a sickening suspicion that if the authorities had been contacted if Joseph was alive, the would have slapped his wrist and set him free. They protect their own...I swallowed the venom building around my teeth and eyed her suspiciously. "My _wife,_" I lingered on that word for a moment, "was concerned about her ex. They had broken up and he wasn't taking it well, he would call and leave her threatening messages calling her all sorts of horrible names. She text me earlier today telling me that the door from the apartment was ajar and the mat where she hid her spare key was flipped over, he was the only one who knew where she kept it." I looked over to Bella who was still stuck in a trance staring expressionless over Joe's body. "When I finally came in I discovered Khloe lying on the floor, Bella in her room with Joe trying to keep him away with the gun. Her face was puffy and bruised but she was of sound mind. Joe and I began to fight, I punched him in the mouth knocking him out.

I went over the living room where Bella had run to survey the damage done to Khloe. My back was turned away from the bedroom and before I knew it I was being pushed over Bella and he was pulling her by the hair into the room. He closed the door and I could here him hitting her from the other side of the door. I went to the room and Bella was pointing the gun at him again, we started fighting and he managed to hit me over the head with an iron bar from our bed. By the time I came to Joe was shot and Bella was like this." I went to sit next to her as she body started shaking with sobs. The female officer looked over to Bella again but this time she looked sympathetic. I managed to have the officers give us some time alone to try and collect ourselves. Bella finally muttered to herself about hating blood and ran into the restroom. Her heart was racing in her chest as she heaved into the toilet, she was gasping for breath clenching my hand desperate for breath. Her body fell limp in my arms as I screamed out of the help of the paramedics. I didn't know how bad Joseph's blows were to her head, I panicked over the thought of losing Bella when we just found each other again.

**Bella POV:**

The annoying beeping of the monitor eventually woke me from my sleep, I opened my eyes slowly trying to sooth the stinging from the bright lights. For a moment I had forgotten where I was but the dull throbbing in my head reminded me what happened, _KHLOE!_ I shot up from the bed pulling the I.V out of my hand, a strong pair of hands gripped my shoulders and gently pushed me back down on the bed. "Bella, you need to rest." The sweet voice was fatherly and comforting, I opened my eyes again to see Carlisle standing over me with worry etched across his face.

"K-Khloe...what? Is she?" My voice cracked bracing myself to hear the inevitable, Carlisle looked away from me as he placed the I.V back in my hand.

"She is in a coma right now Bella. They managed to stop the bleeding in her brain but she hasn't woken up yet..."His face fell slightly and sat on the bed beside me, "They think that the damage inflicted to her spine with stop her from walking again...they've given her a -"

"Stop!" I raised my hand in front of me and began to sob, "This is all my fault...I should have answered my phone. I should have...ugh!! Ow." I fell back into the pillow holding my head to sooth the throbbing.

"Bella, we are going to do a cat scan and some X-rays to make sure there are no concussions. I am waiting on your blood work in the mean time, standard procedure. You were unconscious..they couldn't ask you any questions."

"What are you doing here Carlisle? Do you work at this hospital?"

"No Bella, I told them I was your private Doctor. They are letting me take care of you, do you mind?"

"No, not at all. I prefer it...where is Edward?"

"I am here Bella." Edward appeared from behind Carlisle at sat at the edge of the bed, "Thank god you are alright love, you were suffocating and..." He closed his eyes and placed his head against my hand, "I thought...I was going to lose you Bella." His voice was rough and worn like he had been crying. I pulled him closer to me wrapping my arms around him he laid there with me in silence as I ran my fingers through his hair, "Thank god." He whispered against me tightening his grip around my waist.

A police officer appeared at the door and cleared his throat, "Mrs. Cullen I have to ask you a couple of questions about this afternoon." My face flushed at the sound of my new name. I looked over to Carlisle as he gave me a nod of encouragement. Edward reluctantly stepped out of the room followed by Carlisle and another officer stepped in right after. I gave them my statement with tears streaming down my face, the nausea was coming back again in full force. "Mrs. Cullen 911 operators have all the recordings from the calls made, the conversation between the attacker and Ms. Summers was recorded as well. We have no intentions of arresting you, this was clearly done in self defense." My heart to race again thinking about Khloe...she was never going to walk again, and it was my fault. "In the recordings taken he also admitted to murdering Jennifer Mitchell, there had been a missing persons report filed for her a couple of days ago by her husband. Her body was found in the city dump...We searched his home and found her purse and cell phone under his bed in a box." He stopped to measure my expression before continuing, "You are a lucky woman Mrs. Cullen, do you know how many women die every year by domestic violence?" I shook my head trying to breath through the nausea but in the end I reached for the bed pan and heaved. The police officers cringed and began to backwards to the door. Edward came in followed by Carlisle and Esme, "We will be contacting you again soon ma'am."

Edward nodded toward the officers and gave then a card, "Mrs. Cullen will be in New York as soon as she's out of the hospital. This is the list of numbers you can use to contact us..." I was too busy puking into the basin to argue with him, I wanted to stay with Khloe....I couldn't leave her, not now. The nausea passed and embarrassment set in. I gently pushed Esme away from me trying to cover the basin, "Bella, it's nothing I haven't seen before. Hush now." She sat beside me and took me in her arms, "The rest of the family are waiting downstairs, shall I call them up? Alice is beside herself and she won't tell us why."

"Bella needs to rest Esme." Edward said pacing in front of the bed nervously. "Her nerves are shot...she needs peace."

"I am okay Edward." I turned to Esme and placed my head on her shoulder, "Tell them to come in, it's okay." I looked over to Edward, the tears building in my eyes, "Khloe's phone recorded everything Edward. They knew he..."My head fell into my hands trying to stop the tears. "She has no one Edward. I was her family..." Edward's arms replaced Esme's, he rocked me gently kissing my hair. Alice and the gang all bounded in the room at once. My eyes locked on Alice's, the worry was apparent in her face and she shook her head as if answering an unasked question. "Alice, please! Look into her future...does she make it?" Alice looked down and shook her head, my heart was in my stomach, _Khloe can't die._

"You guys, I had a vision come to me today." Alice began, "Khloe had become one of us."

"YES!" I cut in quickly wincing as pain pierced my head.

"Wait Bella, I am not done." Alice said, "I see her becoming a vampire, she handles the change beautifully." Alice smiles for a second then her face fell, "But when I try to look for you Bella, you disappear. I don't know why." She looked over to Edward who's grip suddenly tightened around me.

"She is going to be fine Alice." Edward spoke with conviction, "You are not looking hard enough."

"Edward, I have been trying all day...I see Khloe's change but Bella..it's like the screen turns black."

"How are we going to get Khloe out of here." I asked breaking the staring contest between the siblings.

"I am going to have her transferred to my hospital in New York." Carlisle spoke up. "The doctor here won't question me. I will make mock up documents confirming her transfer and I will change her at our home. We will wait a week and I will submit a death certificate to the state of Massachusetts."

"I will buy a cemetery plot and Emmett can forge the paperwork for the cemetery." Rose added.

"We can have a burial for her friends and family." Esme said looking down at me.

"Roxanne, Vanessa and I are her family." I spoke against Edward's chest trying to stifle the cries building in my chest. "You guys seem to know what your doing." I managed to smile but my voice couldn't hide the pain I was feeling.

"Well, we've had years and years and well, years of experience." Emmett said as he plopped on the bed next to my feet. "So Bells, I heard your handed that fuckers ass to him." Rose hit him in the back of the head and Esme called his out his name sharply. "What?" He asked looking around, "Too soon?" I stifled a laugh as Jasper walked in back of Alice and smiled quickly in Emmett's direction.

"Alright everybody out!" Edward snapped looking especially at Emmett.

Just then a Doctor appeared looking over my chart, she smiled at me and looked over to Carlisle. "Dr. Cullen her blood work is back, the X-ray lab is open but we are going to have to use the shielding mat over her body." Everyone looked at her in confusion except for Carlisle, he looked over to me with his mouth hanging open. _What the heck?_

"Why do you need the shielding mat?" Edward asked, "I want X-rays done to make sure nothing is broken." The Doctor shook her head in confusion shifting her eyes from Edward back to me.

"Mrs. Cullen you are aware that you're expecting right?"

"Expecting?...expecting what?" I asked still trying to make out the look on Carlisle's face. I turned to look at Edward who's breath caught in his chest. Alice was jumping up and down in place while Rose and Esme where smiling at each other.

"A baby Mrs. Cullen, you are pregnant."

* * *

So I am still studying but bestie kept texting me to post an update. So here you go bestie ( now let me study!) lol

Update should be this weekend or Monday. My intern exam is this friday ( crosses fingers) ya'll wish me luck!

A BIG BIG thank you to everyone who reviewed and put me on story alert. I try to reply to everyone ( there are some that have your PM set to private.)

Please review...TOODLE LOO!


	19. Chapter Nineteen:Trepidation

Chapter Nineteen: Trepidation

_Holy shit!_

_You've got to be kidding me?_

_Impossible...it's just, impossible._

_Is that dude she killed the father?_

"Absolutely not!" I couldn't hold my tongue another second. Bella's pregnant? She can't be. I was the only one she was with...the only only she has been with. I had no doubt in my mind that this beautiful woman's first sexual experience was indeed with me.

_Son, we need to run tests but not here...I need to take her to our home, _I nodded in agreement. The doctor's head shot up, staring at me in confusion. "I take it this wasn't a planned pregnancy?" Bella shook her head as the tears streamed down her face.

"Well...", the doctor continued, "We drew blood when we took samples for a rape kit, your kit came back negative but your blood results came back positive for pregnancy. You are about two weeks along Mrs. Cullen."

"Two weeks?" Bella shrieked. "I can't be two weeks, I was only married yesterday! This is impossible, Edward I swear...you were the only one."

"I know love, I know..." I rubbed her back in gentle circular motions.

_Poor sucker, he's gonna get stuck raising a baby that isn't even his. _The doctor flipped through Bella's file shifting nervously from side to side. _She probably got drunk and slept with a random dude...what a slut. Reminds me of my bachelorette brew ha ha...good times._

I fought to bite my tongue again shifting my gaze from the doctor to Bella, I raised my eyebrows to get her attention and winked at her. "Bella, love..." I leaned in to whisper in her ear, "Don't you remember that night in your old bedroom?" I nudged her side gently and winked at her again.

Bella looked at me as if I were insane, she looked around the room and registered everyone's expression. "Um...Edward? What are you-"

"Bella now is not the time to deny it love, there's not hiding from it now..." I began to rub her back again. Alice nodded to her with wide eyes, the light bulb clicked and Bella inhaled sharply.

"Oh my goodness your right." She said flatly, Bella was a terrible liar. "How embarrassing." She continued blushing a furious red.

"Dr. Phillips, I'd like you to sign Bella over to my care." Carlisle spoke from behind Emmett's large form. "I want to track her progress from our home, she is my patient and my daughter." He reached out to hold Bella's hand patting my shoulder in the process.

"Sure Dr. Cullen, I will have the charge nurse ready the paper work after the lab work."

"I appreciate it Dr. Phillips." The room was quiet as the doctor exited and in an instant everyone was huddled around Bella.

"Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!" Alice chirped, "A baby?!" Alice shoved Emmett out of the way and pulled Bella in a hug. Her face turned white as she gestured rapidly for the bed pan again.

"Please everyone, give her some room." Jasper spoke from his seat, "I can feel her going to pieces."

"Edward?" Bella whimpered with her head still buried in the basin. She looked up at me terrified, the tears pooled around her eyes.

"Hey guys, I need a minute with Bella." I motioned towards the door, "Please?" In a matter of seconds the room was quiet. The sounds of her uneven breathing broke the silence between us, "Love? Are you okay?"

"I can't do this! I'm pregnant? How?" She whimpered burying her head in her hands. "I'm not prepared!"

"Bella...please calm down love." She flinched away from my embrace and pulled the covers up to her chin.

"I never gave any thought to having children. I am not even sure I wanted kids, I wanted forever...I wanted you and me together forever. As cheesy as that sounds it's what I wanted...." Her hand flew down to her stomach and gripped the hospital gown tightly before releasing it. "If you are a...and I am human...then what is this?" She patted her stomach gently then looked back up to me, "I am terrified Edward." I couldn't tell her how scared I was at that moment, I made peace with the face that I would never father any children. I made peace with the fact that I was never going to die, I had even made peace that I was going walk alone in this existence...until I met Bella. Bella gave me hope that I had a chance of some kind of normalcy. But a child? Two weeks? Was it even a child? It was growing at record speed and it was too frightening to think that there is someone or something unknown growing in her womb. Two weeks? A child conceived within the last four days? I couldn't wrap my head around it. "Right Edward?" Bella's question interrupted my mental rambling, her hand touched my face and smiled a heart breaking smile.

"I'm sorry love, what was that?" She cocked her head back in surprise.

"Edward where you not listening?" Bella asked squeezing my hand to get my attention again. I couldn't concentrate, _I'm going to be a father?_ A genetic tie to me, another living, possibly breathing, creature. Creature? Or human? "I said there is no way we are going through with this right?" Bella squeezed my hand again as tight as she could.

"Go through with what Bella?"

"Edward! Where is your mind?" Bella moved her hand away and crossed her arms over her chest. "We will take care of this right? Carlisle can...take care of it?" Her eyes widened suggestively.

I wasn't sure how I felt about that. "Bella, I never thought about having children because I always thought it was never going to be an option."

"It's not Edward, it's not an option." She snapped. The tears where streaming down her face again, she was scared...so was I.

"Bella..."

"No Edward."

"Why not love?"

"How are we sure that this, thing, wont kill me? How do we even know if it's human?" She rubbed her stomach gently in small circles with a disgusted look across her face.

"Bella, listen to me. I was human, at one point and you are human too. Maybe this child will..."

"Maybe this child," she hissed the last word with such disdain it alarmed me, "isn't a child. Think about it Edward...I know how newborn vampires are. How wild they were when Victoria set them loose on me." She shuddered at the memory. "They are uncontrollable blood thirsty monsters, what if what we created is just like that? What if it drains me from the inside? What if...I die?" Bella bit her lip and removed her hand from her stomach carefully.

"Bella, we don't know anything yet. Carlisle wants to examine you and once he does...once we get some answers we can make an formal decision."

"Fine."

"Bella can I ask you something? What if Carlisle's test reveal that it's just a baby?"

"Just a baby Edward? Who's father is a vampire and mother is a klutz? Just a baby?" She huffed and sunk back into the covers wincing in pain.

"Be hopeful Bella and just answer me. What then?"

"If this is just a baby then...then...well hell then I guess you're going to be a daddy!" She said sarcastically as she rolled her eyes.

"If this baby is normal or...relatively normal, you wouldn't be happy? A child created between you and I, to me that would be...beautiful." I pulled a chair closer to the bed and lay my head on her stomach. "Bella, think outside the box here. What if this child is harmless? Your hair and eyes? My smile?"

I could feel her hand run through my hair as she exhaled sharply, "Your hair and eyes, I remember Carlisle saying your eyes were green. I carbon copy of you would be perfect."

"With your nose and mouth, perfection." I muttered against her stomach before planting gently kisses across her stomach. "This is you and me Bella, this is a miracle..."

Her fingers ran through my hair again and traced around my ear before stopping at my lips. "I'm scared Edward."

"I know love but we can get through this together."

I kept my head on her stomach, humming her lullaby quietly to ease her tears. The quiet was interrupted by the commotion going on outside. "What do you mean I can't go in there?! Who the hell are you to tell me what I can or cannot do!?" I recognized the voice immediately, _Edward it's Roxanne..she is really upset, I think she's about to punch the nurse._

"I'm sorry Miss but they have requested no visitors expect for immediate family." The nurse snapped. I could hear the clicking of heels coming towards the door, Roxanne meant business. Bella sucked in air as she scooted herself up from the bed.

"Honey, we are her family now let us in!" Vanessa yelled. I have never heard her angry before...it was scary. I could hear the squeaky tennis shoes belonging to the nurse stop right in front of our door. "Nurse...Goodwin? Now listen here, you may be bigger than me but I'm sure I could take you down...that is my sister in there and I will stomp you out if you do not let me pass lady!"

"Excuse me?!" The nurse shrieked. "I won't hesitate to call security Miss."

"Call whoever you want lady, we are going in."

"She is going to blame me for Khloe, they both are..." Bella whimpered grabbing her head.

"Bella, it's not your fault love. Please,calm down love." I went to open the door and saw the tall, heavy set nurse blocking the door frame. She had her arms crossed like a bouncer looking down at the tiny Vanessa. Roxanne stood there tapping her heel against the linoleum floor debating on whether or not to pummel the nurse.

"Edward! Thank god where is she?" Vanessa shrieked attempting to slip in between the nurse and the door frame. "Dammit Goodwin let me...."

"It's okay." I placed my hand gently on the nurses shoulder. "They are family."

The nurse looked over to me smiling warmly then turned quickly in the direction of the fuming girls. "Visiting hours are over in fifteen minutes." She snapped before moving away from the door.

Roxanne pushed passed her rushing to the bed with open arms while Vanessa stood at the doorway glaring at the nurse, "Stupid nurse, who the hell does she think she is? I WILL LEAVE WHENEVER I SEE FIT!" She shrieked before closing the door on the poor nurse' face.

"Oh honey!! Look at your beautiful face! That bastard I could kill him...oh wait." Roxanne stopped looking over to me. She shrugged her shoulders and sat next to Bella on the bed, "Since that was taken care of..."

"Thank god for that Bella." Vanessa chimed in. "That saves me a bullet or two."

"I am so sorry." Bella started to sob into Roxanne's chest. "It was all my fault! If I had answered the phone Khloe wouldn't have gone to..."

"Hush now Bella, none of this is your fault." Roxanne's gripped tightened around Bella's shaking body and motioned for Vanessa to sit. "Don't you go blaming yourself for that Bells, he was insane." Roxy's voice began to crack as she remembered the way Khloe looked on the hospital bed. She was beaten so bad you could hardly recognize her face.

"That's right sweetie, we are so happy you two are alive!" Vanessa to the left of Bella and hugged her from behind. Both friends held Bella as they all cried for their friend laying in the next room.

_Thank god she's alive. I just wish Khloe would wake up...please god let Khloe wake up. _

_They both look like bruised peaches! That son of a bitch, I hope he rots in hell!_

"Good Evening." A nurse came in to check Bella's I.V drip, jotting down something on her file."I am Hank. I will be the nurse on duty tonight, visiting hours are unfortunately over for the day." The girls were still embracing each other and seemed to ignore his introduction. "Mr. Cullen, you can stay with your wife but everyone else...."

"Wife?" Roxy's head popped up from the huddle and looked over to me. "Wife? Bella is not married."

"Bella?" Vanessa asked pulling away to look at Bella. "Wife?"

Bella's hung her head and raised her left hand showing off the thin gold band. "Mrs. Cullen."

_You've got to be fucking kidding me!!!_ Roxanne lifted herself off the bed and walked backwards towards the foot of the bed. She stood staring down at Bella crossing her arms in a huff."Tell me you're joking" she spoke slowly enunciating each word.

"No I am not." Bella repeated mocking the tone of Roxy's voice. "We went to Vegas the day before yesterday and got it done by Elvis." Bella blushed looking over to me holding out her hand for mine. "I am happy guys."

"I don't care Bella! You haven't seen him in almost six years and then you just up and marry the man?" Vanessa snapped releasing Bella's hand. The nurse backed slowly away from the door frightened for me, _Wow buddy your are so on your own!_ He retreated from the room mumbling that he'd give us a couple of minutes. "He broke your heart and..."

"Vanessa I thought we agreed that we'd give him a second chance." Bella snapped.

"Yeah but that doesn't mean you go out and marry the man!" She looked over to me and smiled quickly, "I mean no disrespect to you Edward but are you an idiot!?" She pointed her finger at me threatening physical harm in her head.

"We love each other Vanessa." I replied softly. "It felt right Vanessa please understand."Roxanne stood frozen over Bella's bed trying to blink back the tears that pooled in her eyes. She was biting the inside of her cheek and counting to ten in her head. Vanessa stopped her lecture when she realized Roxy wasn't yelling anymore. "Roxy?" Bella whispered. Roxanne kept staring at Bella with an unreadable expression across her face. "Roxy are you alright?" There was nothing, not heavy breathing, no sniffling no nothing...just silence. She eyed the ring on Bella's left hand wincing slightly as she finally took in a deep breath.

"No Bella. I am not alright." Roxanne uncrossed her arms and placed them on the foot board of the bed hunching her body as if she was going to pounce.

"Roxy, I..."

"No!" She shot her hand up and balled it into a tight fist, "I talk now Bella." She shifted her gaze between Bella and I then rested them on the ring I was wearing. "For the five years I have known you, you have been in a shell. Like a zombie! You carry a torch for a man that left you for reasons beyond my reckoning and now, just because he swoops into town during this fragile time in your life you reconnect and decide that...instead of taking time, like I told you.."She turned her glare to me, stepping carefully towards me, attempting to level her eyes with mine. "You took advantage of her fragile state. What did you say to her? Huh?! Tell me what stupid line did you spit? I swear she doesn't need the heart break."

I placed my hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her away from my personal space, I sat on the opposite side of Bella and began to stroke her hair. "It was my idea Roxanne, I wanted to do it." Bella spoke as her eyes locked with mine, "He wanted me to mull it over but I wanted to do it now." Roxanne's face softened, taking in the loving gaze Bella set on me.

"Bella, don't you think you moved a little too fast?"

"No Vanessa I don't. I am happy so be happy for me." Bella removed her hand from Vanessa's grip and scooted herself up in the bed. "I am also moving to New York. I am going to quit my job and take the teaching position in New York...effective immediately." She eyed Roxanne with a look that dared her to say argue with Bella's decision.

"What about your apartment?"

"I will sublet it. Khloe is going to be transferred to Saint Vincent's Hospital in New York, Dr. Cullen will be monitoring her progress from there. It just makes sense guys, I don't want to be here anymore...a new life awaits." She looked up at me and kissed my chin. "So just drop it and be happy for me."

"Bella.."

"No Roxy. Be happy." Bella snapped then looked over to Vanessa and shook her head annoyed, "Nessa I never yelled at you when you decided to get a tattoo of your ex-boyfriends name on your ass."

_Oh shit I forgot about that..._

_She got a what? On her what?_

"Roxy, I never yelled at you when you ran off and married the dude from that fraternity and had it annulled a week later did I?"

_Oh my goodness she had to bring up Richard...jeez_

"So be happy for me guys, this isn't something I did on a whim. It's real and it's love...so back off." She snapped again but stopped suddenly with a sharp intake of breath.

"Bella? You OK?"

"Basin!! Hurry!" She whimpered gesturing toward the covered bowl. She began heaving as Roxy held back her hair. "It's the medicine they have me on." Bella lied as she wiped her mouth. "My stomach has been uneasy since this morning." She looked up at me reaching for my hand.

"So..."Roxy laughed taking the basin from Bella. "Vanessa why haven't I seen this tattoo?" The three girls erupted in laughter and Vanessa ducked her head in embarrassment.

"I was in love! Jeez everyone makes stupid decisions Roxy!" She punched Roxanne's arm.

"Yes Vanessa but my mistake went away, you have a permanent reminder on your tush..."She giggled swatting Vanessa's butt. "Alright Bella, I will be supportive." _But if he hurts you I swear to god I will end this man. _

"Yeah Bella. Although I think this was a hasty decision, well, as long as your happy that's all that matters."

"Thank you guys."

"So...New york?" Roxy asked trying to hold in her excitement. The girls continued the endless questions as I left the room giving them their alone time.

* * *

In the morning they ran more tests on Bella making sure there was no clotting or swelling in her head. She was set to be released in an few hours but the Med Helicopter was going to take Khloe straight to New York with my father. She wasn't getting any better, the morning CT scans showed a slight separation from Khloe's brain stem. She was extremely fragile and medically, she was a vegetable. Bella wheeled herself into Khloe's room when I went to talk to my family. I panicked when I returned and her room was empty only to find her by Khloe's side. "So things got worse during the night?" Bella whimpered taking Khloe's hand.

"Yes." I couldn't lie to her, not now...if we didn't change her soon she would be lost.

"I thought Carlisle said she was going to be fine?"

"Her brain swelled again during the night, the doctors say it doesn't look good love."

"This is all my fault." Bella placed her cheek in the palm of Khloe's hand and began to cry. "I'm so sorry Khloe." She whispered kissing her palm, "She is my sister Edward, I can't lose her..."

"I know love. Carlisle will have her in New York in a few hours then it will begin."

"What will begin?" Bella seemed distracted as she brushed Khloe's hair away from her bruised face.

"Her change love..." She stopped touching Khloe and looked over to me with fear in her eyes, "I don't know if she would want this. What if she wakes up upset...like you did?" Bella made a good point, both Rose and I had a hard time adjusting to this lifestyle and we had no idea how Khloe would react.

"I thought you wanted this for her?" I asked taking her hand.

"I did...I do. It's just, what if she doesn't want that? Does this make me selfish? I just don't want to lose her Edward."

"I understand love, you have to make this decision though...and fast because Khloe might not have much time love."

"I need to talk to Carlisle." She muttered.

Two nurses came in pushing a transport gurney ready to transfer Khloe, "We are hear to take her." The male nurse spoke up as the other unplugged her I. V's. The nurse' worked quick to transfer beds and began to roll her to the elevator. Carlisle was waiting by the door talking to Esme and Rosalie, "Ah Edward we were just talking about you." _I am going to ride with the chopper and the rest of the family will fly up with you when Bella is released. _

"Do you know when that will be?" I asked eying Rosalie as she reacted to Khloe's state. _Jesus, I wonder if I..._

"No Rosalie, she is far worse." I finished her thought as she nodded with an apologetic smile.

"Bella should be released soon, the charge nurse is coming with the papers as soon as we load Khloe in the chopper."

"Bella wants to talk to you about the Khloe situation before any official decisions are made."

_I thought it was settled?_

"She is having second thoughts. She is remembering my....issues with this life. She has questions that only you could answer."

_I see. Well, I will speak with her once all is settled back home. _With that, he kissed Esme on the forehead and jogged quickly to catch up with the transport team.

We left the hospital a little over an hour later, the OB wrote Bella a script for prenatal vitamins and lectured her again about proper prenatal care. Bella rolled her eyes pretending to take in the advice.

"Like I am going to need vitamins...I bet this thing isn't even human." She muttered as I wheeled her away into the waiting town car. The flight was a quiet one, we took our private jet still sitting in the hangar of the airport. Rosalie and Alice gushed over the idea of a baby and began talks of proper décor for a baby room. Bella sunk down in her seat and crossed her arms over her chest, she gazed out the window lost in thought as the two carried on with different plans. "I take it she isn't too thrilled about the impending arrival?" Esme whispered, taking a seat next to me.

"No. She thinks it will be a monster, a life sucking monster like it's father."

"Come now Edward, she didn't say that did she?"

"She didn't say it like that but to idea was there. Bella's afraid that it will kill her."

"She needs to have faith." Esme grabbed my hand and squeezed gently. She smiled up to me then looked over towards Bella. "You both need to have faith that all will fall right."

**Bella POV:**

_ Kid are going to suck the life out of me...your doing it already. _

I looked out the window towards the never ending blue skies, I never imagined myself as a mother. I don't even think I wanted to be. I couldn't be a Renee, she disappeared a couple of years ago and our relationship consists of random post cards from different tourist attractions her and the newest husband would stop at. I didn't want to be a flighty mother, a child doesn't deserve a scatterbrain klutz for a mom.

_What the hell am I carrying anyway? What are you kid? Are you even a kid?_

My hand ran over my stomach trying to accustom myself with my newest situation. It didn't seem fair, I just got married...I haven't enjoyed alone time with my husband, I haven't had time for us. Now this thing comes in and ruins everything. It's going to kill me, I know it is. Edward was sitting on the other end of the plane reading a book as Rosalie and Alice chatted on and on about all the things they would buy for the baby. I nodded in agreement trying to maintain a smile throughout it all..._I just need one good scream...just one._

"Bella?" Esme's soothing voice snapped me out of my daydream as she took my hand in hers. "Are you feeling okay sweetie?" I missed her face, it was as if time stood still with her...and it did. Her motherly aura relaxed me and all I wanted to do was crawl into her embrace and cry one good cry. "Honey you can talk to me you know..."

"Esme...I am scared." My eyes began to sting. I could feel my lip trembling as Edward shifted to get up but Esme shook her head slowly. He sat back down staring at me with concern as Emmett and Jasper struck up a conversation with him.

"I understand your concern, the unknown is scary." She wrapped her arm around me so I could lay my head on her chest.

"I feel scared and horrible. Horrible because I am not excited about this pregnancy as Edward, Rosalie or even Alice is. Horrible because the joy is no where in sight....I'm horrible right?" I moved to wipe my tears before they could stain her black silk shirt. "I am not ready for this. I am not familiar with all this...I don't think I was meant to be a mommy."

She shook her head and kissed my head pulling me closer into her. "Bella honey, It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. You will get there sweetie...you just have to trust yourself."

"What if I don't want to get there? What if I am happy with just Edward and I?"

"Bella every mother goes through this mini panic. I know I did..."Her eyes wandered off as she stroked my hair. "I thought I would have been a terrible mother, I thought I was incapable of taking care of another human life." Her voice broke, "But when they put that tiny baby in my arms I knew...I just knew, I was meant for this." She hugged me tight and kissed my forehead before releasing me, she took my chin in her hand and locked her eyes on mine. "Give yourself time Bella, time to adjust...think it out without the opinions of your siblings." She nodded towards Edward, he rose from his seat and headed towards our seats. "Remember Bella, everything will fall right...the future has a way of arriving unannounced." She reached down and rubbed my stomach gently before giving the seat up to Edward.

I looked back out the window taking in all that Esme said. Maybe this baby wouldn't be such a bad thing. I had a strong support system here with my new family, Edward wanted this too. He didn't tell me outright but the proud look in his eyes whenever my hand would touch my stomach was enough...

"Are you alright love?" Edward asked talking my hand in his.

"I will be." I wrapped my arms around his and scooted closer into him, "I just need time..."

"Then time is what I will give you." He kissed my nose as his arms wrapped around me, pulling me into his lap. "I love you Bella. Whatever you choose to do, just know that my love with never falter...I will be here by your side."

"I love you too." I nuzzled my head against his chest as he began humming my lullaby into my ear, I eventually dozed off, the gently thrumming of the plane's engine mixed with Edwards velvet voice relaxed me and for the first time in a long time, all my problems disappeared...at least for the duration of the flight.

* * *

Thanks for all your reviews :)

Real life has been hectic as of late so this update is long overdue.

Bestie says I am living a double life ( i like this one better to be honest) lol oh well, it's my outlet. So I hope everyone is lovely :)

Again, let me thank everyone for taking the time to review, and me on story alert, favorite author and fav story...I love you guys for it :)

ok, as always...

please review, toodle loo :)


	20. Chapter Twenty:The Other One

**A/N BELOW**

Chapter Twenty

The other one

Song: The Fray's Look after you

BPOV

To say that I was freaking out was an understatement. Carlisle greeted us as the medical staff set up a spare room for Khloe. Years ago, we named each other power of attorney so it had been easier to set up home hospice for her. Carlisle and I decided to give it a couple of weeks to let the dust settle in Boston. After about a week I realized that I still needed to go back and pack my things but Alice insisted that she would take care of it. I should have been grateful for her kindness, I hate packing; but I guess I could chalk it up to my hormones because I was being super bitchy. Edward was being so attentive...too attentive. I cried at the drop of a hat and slept like I had been awake for years. This had all happened too fast. Just this time last month I was wishing that once...just once, I would hear his voice again. Now I wake up to him, I breathe him in and make love to this man-my husband. I wanted this, I wanted to tie myself to him in every human way. The little girl that resides in my head is a jealous wench; now that I have him- I never want to let him go.

I was laying with my back facing the door, I was attempting to count the stars in the sky when I was interrupted by the soft knocking from outside the door. "One-million, three-hundred and seventy-five stars on this side...but of course, that was last month," Esme's whispered. She sat next to me stroking my hair before lying next to me. "You need to eat Bella, I know you aren't hungry but you should still eat...for the baby."

"How do I know it's even a human? What if it wants blood?"

"Well sweet heart, we don't know but we must find out. Try some soup," she got up and placed a serving tray on the bed. "Eat up Bella, please?"

I sat up and the smell of the chicken and broth made my stomach rumble-I suddenly remembered how hungry I was. "Where is Edward?" I took a heaping spoonful of chicken noodles and savored the taste as the warm broth slid down my throat, something inside me thanked me.

"He went to hunt with Rosalie and Emmett," she took the spoon from me and scooped another spoonful of noodles.

"How long will he be gone?"

"Until tonight, they didn't go far this time." Esme stuffed the spoon in my mouth before I could think of another question to ask. "I am happy," she smiled, stirring the soup absentmindedly.

"Why?"

"Because I have not seen my son this happy in five years, because my family is finally together again." Esme smiled at me and continued to feed me as we sat there in silence.

"I am happy too, Esme." I stopped her hand from spooning more soup, "I am so happy that Edward and I are were we are, I am just still trying to wrap my head around me being pregnant." The tears spilled at their own accord as she wrapped her arms around me, "the more I think about it, the more I don't want it." I sniffed against her shirt, careful not to ruin the delicate lace.

_Why?_

The question came into my head our of nowhere, "Did you say something Esme?"

"No dear."

_Why?_

It asked again. "Because I am afraid, that's why," I answered. Esme looked at me with a puzzled expression as I continued to talk to myself, "this is all new for me. I don't know what to expect."

"Dear are you okay?"

"You don't hear that?" I asked.

"Bella sweetie, maybe you should take a nap."

_We won't hurt you._

"We?" The tears streamed down my face again as I looked at Esme in panic.

"We what dear? Bella...are? Let me call Carlisle." Esme disappeared out of the room leaving a gust of wind behind as I sat there holding my stomach.

"We? Am I going crazy?" I spoke to no one, at least I thought I was...

_I hope not, the woman we heard...she called you Bella. Is that what they call you?_

"Ye-yes, you said we...how many of you are in there?"

_Myself and another, but they haven't spoken yet. They just sit and stare at me...maybe they are shy._

I couldn't help but smile at the fact that I was hearing this, I must have been going crazy...I thought only Edward was the one able to hear the minds of others..._this is ridiculous._

Esme reappeared with Carlisle in tow, "Bella, are you alright?"

"Carlisle, I am hearing voices...in my head, I swear I'm not going crazy." I flinched as he placed the cold stethoscope on my stomach.

"Sorry," he smiled.

_Who is that? _

"That's Carlisle, you're...grandfather." I gulped. This was too weird, I had my lip in between my teeth as Carlisle looked up from my stomach with his eyebrows raised in question.

"Who are you talking to Bella?"

"I think the baby, I keep hearing this voice in my head...it's sort of an echo. It asks me questions and I answer, it can hear me."

"Interesting..." Carlisle's golden eye's lit up with genuine interest as he set up a machine next to me, "Bella, I am going to use the sonogram on you. I want to get a clear view of what it is you're carrying."

"It said that there was another one in there," the tears came again as I let out an annoyed huff, "Carlisle...I am getting pretty tired of all this crying. How do I shut it off!"

"Two?...as in, two babies?" Esme spoke up.

Alice and Jasper suddenly appeared in the room, Alice came to my side and squeezed my hand smiling the brightest smile I have ever seen, "twins? Oh my goodness Bella!"

"Alice sweetie back off a little, I am getting some uncomfortable vibes from Bella." I could feel the waves of relaxation wash over me as exhaustion suddenly hit me.

Carlisle and Alice looked at each other and then back to me before he ran the cold paddle over my stomach. After a lot of darkness a tiny figure appeared on the screen, it was swimming about as the other appeared still and unmoving. They looked as big as quarters on the screen, "I can see you," I whispered to myself.

_Really? How?_

"Bella, are they talking to you now?" I ignored Carlisle's question and went on to answer the other.

"Carlisle has a machine called a sonogram, he can see images of you in my stomach...I can see you swimming about," I chuckled.

"We can do a transvaginal ultrasound and see them better if you like, from the looks of this ultrasound, you appear to be twelve-weeks along."

"Twelve?!" I shrieked, "that's not-where's Edward?" I began to panic, I wanted him here...I couldn't handle this alone.

"I'll call him," Alice pulled out her bright pink phone and quickly dialed his number as she stepped out of the room.

"I want to wait until Edward comes back before I learn anything more."

Edward arrived an hour later, I was laying facing the window again; I flinched in surprise when his cool hands wrapped around my stomach. I could smell him, my love...

"I'm sorry for leaving love," he whispered into my ear.

"It's fine, you needed to hunt." I pulled him closer to me as he kissed my neck, "did Carlisle tell you?"

"He didn't but it's running through his mind, twelve-weeks?" He asked, muttering against my neck.

"Yes, but that's not everything."

"Tell me love."

"It speaks to me, I mean...I can hear it."

"Esme told me love, it's okay."

_That voice is so serene...who is that?_

"That is your daddy," I whispered, taking his hand and running it over my stomach, "See?" I asked Edward, "can you hear them?"

"No love, I can't...are you su- them?"

"Yes, it told me there was another one in there but it kept to itself."

"Two," Edward muttered, "two babies? Bella have you any idea what this means?" His voice couldn't contain his excitement, he sat us up and pulled me into the tightest hug I could stand.

"Two babies or two monsters..."I muttered sarcastically, "Carlisle wanted to do some 4-d ultrasound to track the movements, I wanted to wait until you were here."

"Thank you," he kissed me gently on the lips and called out Carlisle's name so low it was almost impossible to hear it.

Within a minute Carlisle arrived and began to set up his newest ultrasound machine, "this is a state of the art machine, the newest and most trusted in it's class."

"You sound like a car salesman." I muttered under my breath as he wiped an invisible smudge off the glossy white casing.

"Well, I do admire this machine," he chuckled. "Would you like Esme to join us? You know...just in case you are nervous?"

"I am comfortable, let's just get on with this." I snapped at Carlisle and apologized again, using my hormones as an excuse.

The sensor that was inserted in me was cold and uncomfortable, Edward's hand was the only thing keeping me from crying but that changed when the twins came into clear view.

"Well I'll be-" Carlisle muttered to himself as the moving 3-D picture of a fetus moved around.

"There you are again...I can see you kiddo," my voice cracked as looked at what seemed to be a normal looking human fetus; it's hand moved slowly across it's face as it did somersaults in its little space. The other was in it's own sac sitting quietly staring at it's twin, it eventually covered it's eyes and turned away from the hyper twin..._just like your father, _I thought to myself as Edward squeezed my hand.

"These are our babies Bella, see? They are not monsters, they are...perfect." He whispered with strained voice as his eyes stayed glued to the monitor, "perfect."

I could deny the relief that hit me as the looked on at our twins, "it's just like you see on discovery health...they look human."

"Yes, from the measurements I have taken they are exactly three inches long." He held up my hand and pulled on my thumb, "roughly the size of your thumb." I stayed staring at my thumb for the longest time and felt the annoying prick of tears begin to form.

"Why am I so far along?"

Carlisle's brow furrowed and fixed his stare at the screen, "that is one things I can't explain. The only explanation I could possibly give is that these twins are part vampire...anything is possible."

"When can we tell the sex of the baby?" Edward asked as his eyes finally unglued themselves from the screen.

"Well usually it's as early as twelve weeks."

"Can we try?" I interrupted.

"Sure Bella, we can try..." The device began to move in me again, making the twins move in reaction to my body. Carlisle and Edward both smiled and stared at each other and looked over to me. "Do you want to know?"

"Yes, please..."

"Bella, the hyper one is a boy and the other...well, it has it's back turned so we cannot tell."

"A boy? I'm..we're...a boy?" I choked feeling the nervous flutter in my stomach. "Was that you kiddo?" I asked patting my stomach.

The nudging in my stomach gave me my answer, I pulled Edward's hand to my stomach and smiled _watch,_ I mouthed. "Hey kiddo can you do that again? Your daddy wants to feel you kick." Just then I felt the nudge against my skin again. "See?" I giggled, "you are super strong kiddo."

"Oh my god Bella, this is amazing."

"He understands me, he talks to me...I can hear him. Can't you?"

Carlisle cleaned the gooey gel from my stomach and left the room quietly, Edward rolled his eyes at him and placed his ear gently against my stomach. He sat there for ten minutes as still as a statue, "Can you hear him?" I whispered.

Edward shook his head and lifted it to mine, "I can't hear anything Bella..."

"I swear Edward, I am not going crazy." My eyes began to sting again, I sat up quickly-I needed fresh air...I couldn't breath.

"You aren't crazy love, you probably can hear him...there is no way in knowing what exactly he can and cannot do...and the other, well, we really can't tell...he's a shy one."

"He? Did you-"

"I think it's a boy. Shy like his mother..."

"No, serious like his father...what if it's a girl?"

"Then my life will be too perfect," he muttered against my cheek. "Does this mean you have come around?"

"I still have my questions, concerns...I'm still in a state of shock I guess, but it's not so bad anymore."

"I told you," he kissed the corner of my mouth leaving me wanting more. "I told you it would be okay..."

"Yes, yes I guess you did." I chuckled trying to keep a serious face.

"Well I guess I did," he mocked playfully against my cheek.

"I need some air Edward, I've been lying here all day."

Edward cradled me in his arms and kissed my cheek before asking me to close my eyes, by the time I opened them my hair whipped my face as the whirlwind died down around us. We were standing in the backyard of the house, the moon was the only source of light we had. He placed me gently on my feet and took me into his arms, swaying slowly side to side. "Dance with your husband Mrs. Cullen...we are long overdue."

I wrapped my arms around him as he took the lead, he moved quickly to dip me before kissing my neck, my heart jumped and my stomach nudged a bit. He started humming a familiar tune in my head making my heart jump again and again, my stomach nudged.

_We like his voice, we like it when you laugh..._

"The babies like our little display, he says he likes your voice and my laugh."

Edward continued to hum and dance with me as he processed everything, his stopped and kissed my nose before his eyebrow's furrowed, "it's weird that I can't hear what he's thinking...he must get that from you and how can he get into that stubborn head of yours and I can't?" He pondered, swaying us side to side again, he dipped me once more and this time placing a chaste kiss on my lips. A sharp, pulling sensation began at the small of my back, the pain shot like a bullet to the middle of my stomach and ricochet to my sides. I fell limp against his arms trying to gasp for breath.

"Shit! Edward...ouch dammit I can't breathe."

"Bella? Bella my love...CARLISLE!" Edward gently placed me on the floor as I held my stomach desperate to ease the pain.

"I can't...my god it's burning!"

"What's burning? Bella please calm down...breath love." I couldn't listen to him, I just wanted the stretching sensation to end...I felt as if my insides were on fire.

Carlisle appeared by my side in an instant with his medical bag, "Edward I need to get her inside."

The pain began to subside as soon as Edward placed me on the couch in the living room, "Bella, what do you feel?" Carlisle asked as Edward wiped my forehead with a damp cloth.

"Stretching, burning...I feel like I am being punched from the inside out." I whimpered, "Hey kiddo, what's going on in there?" It was quiet, no response and this worried me, "Kiddo? Hello? What-"

_It got to crowded in here...the other one's foot was pressing against my back. _

"That hurt kiddo."

"Wha-what did he say?" Edward looked panicked hovering over me, "this is killing me! I need to hear what he's thinking."

"Edward, he said it's getting crowded...they were making room." I winced, trying to lift myself from the couch. Edwards hand were on my chest holding me down.

"It must mean that they are growing then," Carlisle looked over at Edward with a worry written across his face, "I need to run labs...tests, I need to track the pace of their growth."

The pain all but disappeared when Edward finally decided to let me up, "I feel fine Edward, I just want to go to sleep, they really wiped me out." I felt as if I had lifted worked out non stop, my body was sore and my legs felt like jello. A pillow and my cool bed was all I could think about.

Once on our bed, I found my spot on our bed and continued my gaze out the window up to the stars. Edward wrapped his arms around me resting them on the tiny bulged that had been growing more and more each day. After a few minutes of silence I could feel his cool breath against my neck, he began to hum my lullaby-the nudging began again. Edward's hands stilled against my stomach as the baby kicked against it. The nudging was stronger than before but thankfully, wasn't uncomfortable. "I felt that," he whispered.

"He's strong," I whispered back turning to kiss his chin. "I just worry about the other one...it's so quiet and laid back. I wonder if it's shy or just...not developing as fast as it's brother."

"We can have Carlisle check tomorrow love, right now you need to sleep."

"I know. I'm just worried that all this moving around will hurt me, what if they are growing too fast and my body isn't able to catch up?" I began to panic and attempted to squeeze his arm, "what if they are venomous? What if the silent one is...well, what if he's not human?" I whispered. My eyes began to blur as the tears built up around them, "I don't want my kids to die...I don't want to die Edward."

"Shh" Edward could feel the tension building up around my embrace and the babies could too, they stilled for a bit before moving around again. "Please sleep my love...you will survive this, all of you will survive this...have faith...I do, I am always right remember?" He chuckled and kissed my cheek, "This is going to work out fine love, Carlisle said that he is going to start tracking their growth and as soon as we figure out at what rate they develop, the better and easier it will be for us. Right now we are walking blind but it will come together my love so please...please close your eyes and sleep."

He continued to hum in my ear as the nudging softly kept time with the melody. We both chuckled, "Just like his father..." I whispered. After a few moments of rhythmic beating, it slowed to a stop and my eyes began drooping to a close. I wasn't sure what I would find when I opened my eyes the next morning- how much my kids were going to grow? How big I was going to get? Was I going to die? All these questions spun around in my head making me dizzy and sick to my stomach, I needed to close my eyes and think about it tomorrow. My mind was racing a million miles an hour when that sweet little voice shook me out of my frantic train of thought:

_We promise to be careful next time we stretch, we understand this causes you pain...we wouldn't dream of hurting you...we love you._

_

* * *

_

**OKay I apologize for the delay, life has me by the balls ( or would have me by the ball if I had balls...) errr okay that went to far. **

**I came up with a plan to update this story once a month...the good new about this is that the next update will be super long :) the bad news is that is will be just once a month. I am sorry I wish I could update regularly but real life calls and I must answer. Being an intern sucks ( not really) but the hours suck and I don't want to overwhelm myself. I hope you understand...I WILL CONTINUE TO UPDATE! THAT I PROMISE YOU!!!! Hell, it might even be twice a month ( no promises) but once every month for sure! :) **

**I put a twist in this story that I hope you will be cool with, I threw out the pages I had written before and followed my imagination again (the original story would have ended shitty-not a happy one) so I re-wrote as I went and here we are...I hope you are liking it. If not...apologies :( **

**Be sure to check out my other stories Fire & Ice and A lie to hold on to (this one is still in it's early stages but feedback would be awesome!) the links are on my profile.**

**As always...please review. Toodle loo  
**


	21. Chapter twentyone: Chaos

Chapter Twenty-One

Chaos

Edward POV:

"Are you hungry?" I whispered. Bella was painting Khloe's toenails and talking to her about the babies that were rapidly growing in her womb. She spoke about how annoying it was, having to stop smoking cold turkey.

"No, I'm more thirsty that anything."

"Water?"

"Sunny D," she smiled before returning to Khloe's toenails. She had only been pregnant two months but by the size of her stomach, she looked about seven. Our son, is chatty and I cannot, for the life of me, wrap my head around this. His gifts have developed at such so early on in his life, there is no telling what else he's capable of once he's older.

The other, well, the other remains a mystery. It's back is turned and it keeps it's face hidden behind it's tiny fists. The biggest, most baffling news we've heard to date was our son telling Bella that he carries on a conversation with his sibling. He says that it's shy but hears everything, it can hear our thoughts- all of our thoughts...even mine, which is a weird new for me.

_Has Bella come to a decision about Khloe's change?_ The thought stopped me in my tracks, Carlisle was in his office researching with Jasper and Emmett. My brother's thoughts were on the task at hand-finding any evidence of offspring from vampire/human trysts. Carlisle's thoughts were flooded with Khloe and her situation, he worried about how long he would survive on the machines before her body began to wear down. He wanted to change her that day she arrived in New York but Bella hesitations kept her human two months longer that expected.

I ignored his questions and walked into our kitchen on a hunt for Sunny D. Bella has been craving the weirdest things once the twins began to grow more, this week she was all about Sunny D and last week she wanted nothing but fried pickles. She will occasionally ask for blood when the baby insists on it, human AB has been quite the staple in our home since the kids favored it so.

_I wonder if I should go with a gender neutral color...green? Yellow? It would be so much easier to decided if we knew what the other baby was. Decisions, decisions! _"Oh hey Edward," Alice muttered, eyes trained to the computer screen.

"What are you up to down here?" I asked, pouring a glass of the citrus drink.

"Bella said I could help her design the nursery, she said I'm in charge of the colors. She doesn't want anything too showy or flashy. She wants simple and modern, that sounds great but the colors! The colors are killing me here."

"What about blue?" Alice slammed her hand down on the table and huffed in response, I guess that would be a no.

"Blue is too basic, it's been done. Plus! We don't know what the other kiddo is, I'm hoping it's a girl...oh what I give for some pink!"

"Why don't you go with beige, whites and grays?" Rose said as she walked in from the living room. "Can't go wrong with that. Clean, neutral and chic...there is so much you can do with those colors."

"Perfect!" Alice squealed.

"Bella and I are going to look for a crib tomorrow, would you care to join us?"

"Edward, about that, why doesn't she look online for a cute crib. I don't want her wearing herself out and it will be sunny tomorrow."

"Because Bella-"

"Bella wants to have a first hand look, I don't blame her. This is what she wants and as long as she's finally showing some interest in this, we will do whatever she feels like doing." Rose said, cutting me off.

"I guess you're right..."

"Besides, we can have an idea of what Bella is looking for. It will be easier to plan around the crib, don't you think?"

"Wow Edward, who would have thought you'd have a knack for decorating?"

"It's for Bella and the babies, of course I want to be involved...this will be the only time I can experience this, I want to be there...every step of the way."

I grabbed the glass and left the kitchen to Rose and Alice, they were discussing different options for dressers and toys. Before I reached Khloe's room, I could hear my father and Bella talking over the options again.

"I understand your concerns, Bella." Carlisle's soothing voice was muffled behind the closed door, "I went through the same thing when it came to the fate of your husband."

"I just don't want her to hate herself or me when she wakes up...like you."

"Everyone of us went through a...depression in the beginning. We all questioned ourselves, still do. But right now, we must focus on the matter at hand...is this what you want for your friend?"

"I don't want her to die," she sniffed. I had to fight every urge in my body to bust open the door and comfort her, I hated when she cried-so did our babies. "I feel like this is all my fault, if I had just-"

"Bella, none of this was your fault. Joseph was insane, you didn't know that."

"I just wish I knew what to do," she stayed quiet for a long minute and then chuckled to herself, "where is Edward with my juice...he's thirsty."

_You might as well come in Edward._

"Someone ordered juice?" I chuckled as I opened the door, Bella was sitting in the rocking chair by the bed and Carlisle was sitting by Khloe's freshly painted pink nails. I handed the large glass over to her waiting hands and kissed her on her forehead as she chugged the orange liquid as fast as she could. "Whoa there love, thirsty?" I chuckled, her face looked so satisfied when she let out a tiny burp.

"Sorry," her cheeks were flushed as she quickly covered her mouth. "These kids were thirsty..."she laughed as she lovingly rubbed her belly. "Carlisle and I were discussing our options for Khloe again, I still haven't decided."

"Well, we been letting the machine breathe for her for a long time love. Medically speaking she's in a vegetative state, there is really nothing more we can do for her."

I regretted the words once they left my mouth, Bella's lower lip began to tremble as held on to Khloe's hand. "I'm so sorry Khloe," she whispered in a broken voice, "I am so very sorry." She rose from her seat and began to slowly make her way out the door.

"Love, I'm sor-"

"No, it's not what you said...I'm just not feeling so good. I just want to lay down for a bit."

Bella POV:

_We don't like you upset, mom. It makes us nervous._

"Sorry kiddos, it's a lot to take in."

_Khloe's going to die?_

"She's circling the drain," my head hurt from all the crying I had been doing that day, she looked so helpless...lifeless; not at all like the Khloe we all knew and loved. I can't...I can't fathom the thought of losing another loved one. I have always hated death, it signified the end of things, I hate change...I hate things I cannot control. These two months have been unnerving, I wanted everything to go back to normal. I wanted a lot of things...but most of all, I wanted Khloe here. I wanted to hear her laugh and chide me on my choices...or lack there of.

_I'm sorry you're sad, we both are._

"How are you two doing today? You've been quiet." More and more I was getting used to having conversations with my son, it wasn't normal but it was how we did things in this house. There was nothing these children didn't hear, they were privy to everything from the drama with Khloe, to the details of my pregnancy.

_There is a lot going on today, a lot to take in. _

"I agree, baby."

Our conversation was cut short by the knock at the door.

"May I come in?" Edward whispered.

"Why do you ask? Of course you can," I scooted over to the edge of the bed and patted the empty space. "Come on, I'm a little warm."

I felt his hands wrap around my expanding waist before he kissed me on the neck, "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you," I turned to kiss him on his chin before settling against his cool chest. "You know Edward, when we were in high school, I never understood your trepidation...I think that I am finally beginning to understand-it took me long enough."

"What do you mean, love?"

"I don't want to be the one to make that decision, I don't want to be the one responsible for taking away her human life."

"I see," he gripped around my waist a little tighter, holding me close to his chest, "I am not scared anymore. I lost you once because I was too afraid of the unknown...I don't want you losing something or someone that you won't ever be able to get back. I was lucky with you, you have the biggest heart I've ever known...so forgiving. But with Khloe, it's different. There is no other choice, besides letting her die naturally. Do you want her to slip away?"

I shook my head against his chest and let out a sigh of relief, if Edward can come to terms with changing me, then maybe I could take a page from his book. I didn't want to lose Khloe, she was too young to die and now, there is a way to stop that and I might as well use that option, right? We stayed in bed for the rest of the night, talking about the babies. We discussed all the little things from the kind of diapers to use to the names we would give them.

"Abraham?"

_No_

"No."

"George?"

_No_

"No."

"John or Theodore?"

"No and no! Edward, do you have an obsession with presidents?"

"No, but I think they sound...I don't know, regal." I laughed at his response, he tickled my sides until I had to get up and pee, for the hundredth time that night. "Well, okay then, what did you have in mind?"

"Edward."

_Like my father?_

"Yes, do you like that?" I asked my baby, he kicked in response.

Edward moved his hand quickly to the place where my skin was stretching, "heck of a kick son."

"Scary." I muttered, shaking my head, "it's like he's going to rip right through me...don't do that, okay kiddo?"

_Never mom, I'd never hurt you. _

"So, Edward?" he asked, trying his best to hide the excitement.

"Yes, I love it...and you." I kissed his nose and brought his arm up to wrap around my chest.

"Edward Charlie?" he asked, before lifting my shirt to rub my stomach.

"Edward Charles, yes. I love it!" I snuggled closer into his embrace as he began to hum my lullaby.

His humming ended abruptly, he shot out of the bed in and instant and began to sniff the air, "no way." He muttered to himself, "stay here love."

"What is it Edward? Why are you making that face?"

"Isabella, whatever you hear...stay here. Do you understand?"

"You are scaring me Edward, what is-" The loud knock at the door startled me out of bed, I bolted up almost knocking myself over against the night stand.

"Bella!" Edward yelped, the knocking became more persistent and then turned into banging.

Rose and Emmett appeared in the room followed by the rest of the family, "do you smell that?" Rose asked, covering her nose in disgust.

"I can't put my finger on it-"

"It's a werewolf," Alice whispered.

"No way? Here?" Emmett snapped, "what are they doing here?"

Alice, Edward and Carlisle all looked in my direction, Alice shot me a sympathetic smile before tugging on Jasper's shirt, "we should maybe-"

The banging on the door was non stop now, Esme was afraid whoever it was would wake the neighbors, "well, someone has to answer it."

"I'll go, you all stay here." Carlisle darted down the stairs with Edward hot on his heels, "stay with your wife."

"No," he snapped quickly moving past his father. I stayed sitting on the top of the stairs, unable to see anything happening downstairs.

Alice sat with me holding me close to her chest, "I think it's going to be fine."

"You think?"

"I can't see anything, Bella..werewolves block my sight for some reason."

"Right."

The entire family positioned themselves around the door with the exception of Alice, I nervously chewed on my nails as the banging grew angrier by the second.

"Dammit! Cullens I know you're in there! I can smell you all, disgusting leeches!"

"Wait a minute, I know that voice-" I whispered, the tears spilling down my cheeks, "it's-"

"It's me Jake! Open up! I know you have her in there...what have you done?"

I shot up from my seat, ignoring the piercing pain shooting down my back. "Stay put, Bella." Edward shot me a warning glare from the bottom of the steps, his expression softened when he noticed my tear stained cheeks, "I don't want him to hurt you love."

"He won't, I promise. Please Edward."

"No."

"Dammit you filthy leeches! I will knock down this door if you don't answer it!"

Carlisle took an unnecessary breath before unlocking all three locks, he slowly opened the door but flew back when Jake kicked it open.

"What the fuck!" Emmett hissed lunging for Jake.

"Wait a minute," Carlisle said-always the voice of reason.

Jake's head snapped around until he saw who he was looking for, "you!" he spat at Edward, grabbing the collar of his shirt, "I am going to fucking kill you!"

I couldn't stand by any longer, I darted down the stairs screaming his name. "Jake! Don't you dare!"

"Bella! Go back up stairs," Edward yelled in between Jake's vice grip.

Jake froze in place as his eyes settled on my large stomach, he face change through all kinds of emotions; finally settling on one-rage. "You're pregnant?" He asked, disgust painted across his face.

"Yes, and you are about to kill," I took a deep breath to contain the rage threatening to come out, "my husband, the father of my children. Stop it, Jake. This ends tonight."

Jake growled viciously before throwing Edward across the room, I screamed in horror when I saw Edward land against the piano, shattering it to pieces. "You got yourself knocked up by a monster? What is it your carrying inside you?"

_Who is that? Who is a monster?What's going on? _ The kids were moving restlessly around in my stomach, make the pain in my back unbearable...I had to bear it, I couldn't let this go on anymore.

"Nothing, baby...calm down."

"Baby? I am not your baby, Bella."

"Not you, you idiot! My son, my son is asking about you."

"The baby is a monster, just like his dad! It will kill you, just like it's father!"

_No! We won't! Dad wants to kill you?_

"Shhh, no baby." I whispered, rubbing my stomach in comfort. "Shut your mouth, Jake! You are frightening my babies." I spoke in an even tone, almost menacing.

"Go away," I snapped, pushing him out the door.

His arms grabbed mine and the heat was almost unbearable, "not without you." He pulled me towards the door but fell when Emmett pummeled him from behind.

"Run Bella!" Alice screamed as Edward stood in a protective stance in front of me.

"You are not taking my wife anywhere..." Edward turned to face me, his wide eyes looked above my head as his body was thrown again by an unseen force behind me. A pair of scorching hot hands pushed me out the door into another pair of waiting hands.

"Bella!" Edward yelled as Sam continued to moved around him, "return her to me dog, or there will be blood shed."

"Highly unlikely," Sam laughed, dancing around him.

"Stop this!" Carlisle yelled in between the ruckus, the hands that held me pushed me into a running truck. I was kicking and screaming, pleading for them to let me go. My babies were kicking with equal force, not helping my situation. Their kicking made me too weak for fight off the hands that held me, "Please!" I cried, "please let me go!"

* * *

It's short! I know! I was no where near done with it but I past my day to post. I am still working on it and I will have it up in a week or so, I promise.

My laptop was broken for a bit, my kid decided to give it a bath and I fell behind on everything...that on top of work, bleh. Kill me now :)

I do have some good news...I am pregnant. :) So that has been extra tough on top of interning, I must be a masochist :) ;p But I am happy :)

Thank you to EVERYONE who reviewed each and everyone of my chapters, I appreciate it. I really do.

okay well, again, I will be posting the other half REALLY soon! I promise, I promise, I promise!


	22. Chapter twentytwo: Amends

**A/N below **

****hides behind her daughter** :)**

_Song: Human Behavior by Bjork_

Chapter Twenty-Two

Amends

Bella POV:

It was real, all of it...I swear.

_My captors calloused hands covered my mouth as he whispered frantic words of comfort. I couldn't calm down, no way. I tried my best to shake loose from their vice grip, I couldn't. I bit and spat, cursed and plead for him to release me. My pleas were drowned out by the sound of Jake's cursing and Leah's cries. The tears in my eyes blinded my vision but it looked as if Leah was bleeding, the kicking and twisting in my stomach confirmed the scent as my son spoke out to me. _

_'What is that smell? It's not a scent we are familiar with.' _

_I felt the Jacob's heated touch over my stomach, I smacked his hand away and found myself hissing at him...at all of them. Something came over me in that instant- I hated him...I hated all of them for doing this. When Edward first told me about how foul the wolves scent was, I thought he was over exaggerating-I thought wrong. The smell was strong, it stung all the way to the bridge of my nose and I felt as if I was going to be sick. It was a cross between a wet dog and a moldy towel. _

"_Pull over." I hissed, yanking my face away from whoever was holding me. I heaved as the new position I was in made the scent even stronger. "I'm going to be sick...pull the fucking car over. NOW!"_

"_Calm down, Bella." Sam snapped as he wrapped Leah's gash with a torn shirt. _

"_Fuck you, Sam. I am going to throw up...pull over." I heaved again at the scent of Leah's blood hit my nose. The calloused hands that held me belonged to Embry, he held them up in front of him like a kid caught with his hands in the cookie jar. "Where is my husband?"_

"_Husband?" Jake snorted, his hands gripped the steering wheel until his knuckled turned red, "your husband's ashes are scattered to the four winds." _

"_What?" I choked through the tears, "you...you killed him?"_

"_How could I kill something that was already dead?"_

"_You burned my husband?" I screeched at him as my fist connected with the side of his head. "You murderer!" I cried out in pain as the bones in my hand where crushed against his head, "I will kill you."_

_I heaved as the bile rose from my throat. The fact that my husband was dead and his murderer was laughing with his pack while I cried was enough to make me lose my mind. "I am going to be sick, pull over or it's going everywhere in your car....now you asshole." _

"_Oh shit, Jake pull over now!" Embry pinned himself against the seat as my body jerked forward. The tires of Jake's old F-150 came to a screeching halt as I flew out of the cab. I ran into the woods and fell to my knees as I wretched and gasped for fresh air. I cried for the life of my husband, for the life of the family I was a part of...it was all gone. I had everything I ever wanted and it was over in a matter of mere months. Jake and his pack where by his truck tending to a wounded Leah, she was screaming in pain over a bite she had received from Alice. I smiled to myself as she screamed that the pain was too much. _

_I used this opportunity to run. I ran as fast as my feet would carry me, I ran until my lungs felt as if they would explode. I knew it was a matter of time until one of Jake's pack caught up with me, I didn't care what they did to me anymore. I lost my love...what else is there to live for?_

_I could hear the laughter coming from the truck and the sounds of heavy footfalls gaining on me. I closed my eyes and ran until I couldn't feel my legs anymore..._

"_Bella? Where are you?" The familiar voice invaded my head, I couldn't hear anything around me anymore. "Why are you running?" _

_The darkness of the forest was interrupted by an orange glow flickering in the distance, I pushed myself to keep going until I came upon my home. Everything was destroyed and burning to the ground, I fell to my knees in defeat as the flames consumed my home. Everyone was dead, even Khloe...how could they?_

_My nails filled with the moist dirt as my fingers dug into Esme's garden. "No! Edward, Esm-" I screamed with my face against the ground. A strong pair of hands gripped my shoulders, pulling me away from the home. _

"Get away from me! You murderer!" I kicked and screamed against their cool embrace.

"Bella!" Edward's hands gripped my face gently to get my attention. His eyes frantically searched mine while I attempted to twist away from his embrace. "Shh, my love, please..." He whimpered, trying to calm my fit. "Jasper!" he snapped.

My body relaxed against his embrace and I was no longer surrounded my nightfall. I was standing outside just like before, the overcast and distant thunder that surrounded us brought me back to reality. The entire family was around us as my muddy hands gripped the collar of Edward's shirt as I buried my head against his neck. "It was real, I was there...I felt everything!" I sobbed against his shirt.

"Where did you go?" Edward whispered against my forehead before kissing me. "You were talking to me in our room then all of a sudden you started talking to yourself...screaming at Jake and calling him a murderer." He wiped my tear stained cheeks and looked into my eyes, panic was written across his face, "You were lucid but your eyes..." He stopped to collect himself and took a deep breath before continuing, "your eyes looked as if you were somewhere else. We tried...we tried to shake you out of it but your mind was off in your vision."

"You ran from us Bella." Jasper said as my heart slowed to a normal rhythm. "You ran out of the house and fell to your knees sobbing...what did you see?"

"It was happening!" I snapped, "Jake came here. He fought you all with his pack and kidnapped me." I hiccuped against Edward's chest. "He said he killed you, Edward. He said your ashes were-" I couldn't continue, the thought of having to relive that again made my stomach twist in agony.

_The other one had to show you..._

"Wh-what?" I looked down on my stomach and rubbed the side he was kicking.

_You had to see, it had to make you see...this is what's to come. _

"What do you mean? What's to come?"

_The other one says that this is what's to come..._

I gripped Edward's arm and stared at Alice, "he said that the twin saw it happening...he said it's what's to come."

"What's to come?" Alice asked, looking over at Jasper in confusion.

"My son said that his sibling saw...ugh! Forget it!" I paced back and forth letting the cold air dry my tears.

"Bella, let's go inside...you're barefoot and you must be freezing." Esme wrapped her arms around me and led me back into the warm home.

"Esme, the baby said that I needed to see what's to come."

"So, your saying that the baby can see into the future, show you the future?"

"Yes! I was there...I could feel everything, smell everything."

"This is a new development, it appears the twin has the gift similar to Alice and Zafrina."

"Zafrina? Really?" Alice laughed, staring at my stomach in awe.

"Who's Zafrina?" I asked, feeling uncomfortable with everyone staring at me and my stomach.

"Zafrina is the leader of the Amazon Coven. She was the ability to create visual illusion, it's amazing actually." Carlisle laughed as he rubbed my stomach, "let's do another sonogram...I need to check on the babies."

"No." Edward snapped, "I'm sorry Carlisle but she needs to rest...can we do that tomorrow?" Carlisle nodded and gave my belly a gentle shake before retreating upstairs to his office.

-O-O-O-

I leaned against Edward's chest in our large bathtub. The warm water surrounding us relaxed my tense muscles while his magic fingers worked out the knots in my back. I needed Edward like the air that I breath, I couldn't imagine my life without him anymore. The tears fell again at the vision of this beautiful home being burned to the ground-my love and the family I have come to embrace as my own no longer existing. I didn't realize I was crying until Edward wiped my tears, he was sitting in front of me now with his hands placed gingerly on my shoulder's.

"What's wrong Bella?"

"I can't get that vision out of my head, my heart is breaking at the thought of losing you...all of you."

For once, Edward was speechless. His brow furrowed as he lathered rinsed the soap off my body. "Bella, we will be-"

"No." I said, attempting to lift myself from the tub. Edward chuckled as I struggled, "are you going to help me!"

"Yes, I am but I think you look so cute."

I sniffed as he carried me to the bed, "stop avoiding the topic. This is real."

"It might be."

"NO!" I threw his arm off his lap and shot up from the bed. "This is going to happen! Why are you being so dense?" Edward's hands curled into tight fists as I paced around the room, I threw on my robe and stomped across the hall to Carlisle's office.

Carlisle and Esme were looking over a set of blue prints when I swung the door open, "Bella? What's goin-"

"Do it now, Carlisle," I snapped, pushing Edward's hand off my shoulder.

"Do what?" Esme asked.

"Change Khloe. Do it now, we need all the help we can get."

"What are you talking about, Bella?"

"The vision the baby showed me, it's going to happen. I can't lose you all...I just can't. Change her now!"

"Bella, why don't you sleep. We can talk-"

"No, Esme. I am not tired...I am terrified!"

"Bel-"

I lifted my hand to cover Edward's mouth. "So help me god if you tell me to calm down again, I will..." I glared at him and he pursed his mouth under my hand.

"Are you sure, Bella?"

"Positive."

"These visions...do you really believe that they will happen?" Esme asked, rubbing my back as she guided me to a seat.

"Yes, I really do. The baby said I needed to see...it's warning us. We need to listen...I should talk to Jake befo-"

"Hell no!" Edward yelled. I jumped in my seat as twisted my chair to face him, "are you insane?"

"No, I am trying to stop what's to come."

"Bella." Edward sighed, "you don't have to worry."

"Why are you doubting this? Please don't tell me you don't believe that this is possible...hello?" I pointed at his chest, "vampire? Werewolves? Living forever? And you doubt me that this is impossible?"

We stayed staring at each other for a long minute until Esme cleared her throat, "Edward..."

"Call him," he muttered through his teeth.

"Not good enough, I need to see him."

"No."

"Yes," I snapped. "Look Edward, I know Jake better than you think I do. It will be better if I see him and speak to him face to face."

"No."

"You can't make me stay."

"Wanna bet?"

"Don't go there with me, Edward." I stood up and looked over at Carlisle before walking out of his office. "Please change Khloe, I will be away from the house for a couple of days...please?"

"Okay, Bella. Jasper and I will take her to Denali when the change is complete."

"Thank you, Carlisle."

Edward followed me out of the office and into our room, I pulled out my suitcase and picked out a few outfits for the trip, "can I use your Volvo when I get to Forks?"

Edward sat at the edge of the bed playing with the tie to his bath robe, "you honestly think I would allow you to leave by yourself?"

"Excuse me? Allow me?" I snorted. "You do not own me, Edward. You don't tell me where I can and cannot go." _Arrogant ass. _I knew I was being a brat, my hormones were out of control and this new development didn't help matters any.

"You are my wife, Bella. You are carrying my unborn babies, of course I have a say. I want you to be safe...I want to go with you."

"Then you'd better pack."

Edward's hands stopped my hasty packing, he wrapped his arms around me and planted light kissed along my neck. "I am so sorry that I upset you, my love." He turned me around to face him and took my head in his hands, "I love you and I believe what you say. I just wish you'd have a little faith in me."

"I do, but what I saw was real, at least, is going to be real...I can't have that, I can't lose you." I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed his Adam's apple. "I'm sorry for being such a brat too, I feel like a nut job when I snap at you."

"No worries, you have an excuse." He patted my stomach and kissed my cheek, he looked as if he was an internal debate about something as he played with the end of my ponytail.

"Out with it, Mr. Cullen." He smiled before sitting me down on the bed and took a knee before me. His eyes were trained on the wedding band on my finger. "Edward? What's on your mind, mind reader."

"I don't have a good feeling about this," he whispered as he laid his head on my lap.

"I know Jake, he won't hurt me."

"But that vision you had-"

"Now your concerned about the vision?"

"I just don't want anything to happen to you or the babies."

I lifted his head to mine and pressed my lips to his, "if I go and talk to him face to face, it will soften the blow."

"I don't know," he winced, shaking his head.

"Have a little faith in him, Edward." I kissed him again on his lips, "he saved my life...he's my best friend."

"Can you at least wait until the morning? We can catch a mid morning flight so you can rest for a bit."

I nodded against his neck before planting tiny kisses below his ear, "I love you."

"Oh Bella, you have no idea how much I love you."

-O-O-O-

Edward made plans to go out and hunt with his brothers after I had fallen asleep. I was startled awake by the twins, they shifted around my stomach and managed to kick a few ribs in the process.

"Easy there kiddos," I gently shook my stomach as the fluttering continued. "Son, can your twin see the future."

_It sees what's to come._

"So when is this going to happen?"

_It's not certain, it just plays out what comes to it's mind in the instant that it happens. It didn't mean to scare you, we're sad that you cried._

"No, don't feel sad, this is something that I needed to see." I groaned as I made an attempt to roll off the bed wincing at the permanent indention I had left on my side of the bed, "I'm such a cow." I muttered to myself as I waddled to the restroom. "Can your twin see if this trip to Forks will be a safe one?"

_It can only see the life-threatening situations, so maybe this trip will be safe. I am still trying to understand the gift it has. The other one is not much of a talker...very shy. _

I paced around the bedroom for the better part of an hour. I toyed with my cell phone, debating on whether or not to give Jake a call. There was no running away from this, no matter where we were I knew Jake and his pack would find us. If we made him chase us, the angrier he would be at my family for 'hiding me'.

Before I knew it, my fingers where dialing the all to familiar number. I bit my nails, silently hoping that I would get his voice mail. "Bella?Thank god! Where-How are you?" _Dang it!_

"Jake! I'm fine, I'm in New York. How are you?"

"I've been worried sick about you, sweetie. Charlie's house sold and I heard from Roxanne what happened with the douche bag you were dating. Hill had to stop me from jumping on a plane to Boston."

"I took a teaching job here in New York, I'm fine. Edward was here, he...took care of it for me."

"Listen, Bella, I am so sorry about what happened at the clearing."

"No, Jake, don't apologize. You had every right to be concerned, I just wish you'd give the Cullens a break...they are good people."

"Yeah, well...I don't know." Jake said, sounding as if he was speaking through his teeth. "Is he with you?"

"Yes, he's with me."

"I see, well, are you happy?"

"I am very happy, Jake. I love him."

There was silence on both ends of the line for the longest time, by the sounds of his ragged breathing, I could tell he was trying his best to calm himself. "I could have made you happy Bella."

"Jake, don't....you have your partner in life."

"I know, I just...I don't know, I feel like you are meant to be here...with me." He was whispering now, I could hear the screen door open and close on the other end of the line.

"Jacob, you are my best friend, my protector...of course you feel that. You have this need to protect me and I've told you time and time again I will be fine...I have been fine."

"I guess."

"Listen, Jake...there are things we need to discuss, important things. I am flying to Washington tomorrow er I mean later today."

"That's great! Hillary will be so happy to see you again."

"I won't be alone."

"I see, well, as long as they stay on their land..."

"Of course, Jake."

"Bella, I am so relieved that you called me. I was getting ready to form a search party, I thought...well, never mind what I thought, you're safe and that's all that matters."

I took a couple of deep breaths as the both relief and terror wash over my bones making them feel like jello. "That's silly, Jacob."

"No it's not, you said it yourself...I am your protector."

"Well you know that I am fine so call off the search dogs," I giggled.

"Ha ha, too cute, Swan. Well, it's late-"

"Yeah of course! Gosh I'm sorry for calling so late-"

"Don't apologize, not to me...I am glad you called."

"I am too, Jake." _You have no idea how glad I am._

"See you tomorrow?"

"See ya," I whispered as the door to the bedroom creaked open.

"I knew he had feelings for you," Edward said, leaning against the door frame.

"He is just being over protective...I'm so lucky I called him, he was getting ready to come looking for me." I gave him my 'I told you so' look and climbed back into bed. "How much did you hear?"

"All of it."

"Are you jealous?"

"No." He wrapped his arms around me and buried his face in my hair, "I have your heart."

"That you do, my love."

We laid there until the sky turned a hazy purple, my eye lids grew heavy as he hummed my lullaby to my stomach. My last thoughts were of Jake, I was worried about how he was going to take the news. To find out that I was married and pregnant was not news I think he'd like to hear...especially when the father is the vampire who broke my heart all those years ago. I hoped that he would understand that this is what I want, this is what I've always wanted. Edward and my babies were my life now, this is the path I have chosen and I pray that Jacob will be the understanding and supportive friend he's always been.

I wasn't sure but I was going to find out...

* * *

***Okay loves...I don't know about you but I'm nervous about that meeting ;)**

**I want to thank Twific Promotions for reading and reviewing my story on their blog!It's giving me a lot of new readers *waves* I am glad you all are enjoying my story and I hope you continue to. We are reaching the end...( sniffs) I know, but I need to hurry and end it so I can continue with my other two stories. It's getting really hard juggling all three ( my fault, I know) but once I get an idea in my head...well, I write :)**

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**Okay well, again, I hope you enjoy this :)**

**Toodle loo  
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	23. Chapter twentythree:Additions

_Song:Breakable by Ingrid Michaelson_

Chapter Twenty Three

Additions

**BPOV**

The plans were made.

Carlisle thought it best to take Khloe to Denali on our way to Washington, he would remain there with Esme, Jasper and Alice until her change. Edward said it could take Khloe months, years to come to terms with what will happen to her. He stressed that she might not want to live life the way my family did- she may want to be alone. "Everyone reacts differently when they wake," he said during a discussion at the house a couple of weeks ago. "We just have to wait and see."

Wait and see...that's what frightened me. I didn't want her to hate me...to hate us. I didn't want her to become a monster like James or Victoria either. I've tried to ask Alice to peer into the future but she says it's impossible to see past the kids.

Since my child's vision, Alice describes her foresight as fuzzy and full of holes. "It's like someone put a foggy divider in between me and the future...it's almost impossible to see anymore!" She whined.

The Cullen's private jet stood idle waiting on clearance for takeoff. It was storming really bad around us but Alice reluctantly assured us it would pass within the hour. The entire family was there. Carlisle and Esme busied themselves with books while Rosalie thumbed through a magazine. Emmett and Jasper played a game of poker while Alice flipped through a catalog filled with baby furniture. Edward dug through his duffel bag and brought out my worn copy of Persuasion and flashed me his knowing smile. "Want me to read to you?" he asked, waving the book.

I nodded and wrapped myself in a hot-pink snuggie-a gift from Alice. I was still getting used to the color but it was so comfortable that I didn't bother to complain. The rain fell hard against the window while Edward read but I couldn't pay attention. My mind was on Khloe, what would I tell our friends? Thanks to Rose and her computer hacking skills, the states of Massachusetts and New York already listed her as deceased. We spent weeks lying to Roxy and Vanessa and making up excuse after excuse as to why they couldn't to visit. Vanessa didn't question it but Roxy was a force to be reckoned with. I didn't know how much longer we could hold them off and I didn't want to lie anymore.

Khloe was secured to the hospital bed near the exit of the plane. Her bruises were almost gone but her face was as pale as ever, she was how Carlisle put it, "circling the drain." I wondered what she would be doing right now if she was fine, probably getting ready for a date of or grading papers-she loved to teach. Khloe loved her job, her friends and her life just the way it was and now it was all being ripped from her. Rose understood my trepidation, she too had her human life taken from her without so much as a chance to fight back. She thinks that Khloe should have a choice but Khloe isn't here to choose..

"Where are you?" Edward chuckled, tugging lightly on my blanket.

"I'm just thinking about Khloe."

His brow furrowed his brow as he closed my book, taking my hand in his. "What are you thinking?"

"Same thoughts I've had for weeks."

"I don't understand Bella, I thought you made a decision?"

"I did," I whispered, still looking out the window. "Then I unmade it and made it again," I shook my head as I twisted my fingers with his. "Never mind," I shrugged, flicking the book. "Are you going to read to me or what?"

He opened the book and smiled his beautiful crooked smile for me but it didn't reach his eyes. He began where we left off the week before and in no time, I found myself drifting into a peaceful sleep.

-x-X-x-

I had never met Tanya. I knew that she must have been beautiful, every single on of them was beautiful and here I was-fat, bloated and cranky...there goes first impressions. Edward told me everyday that I was gorgeous and his only love but when I finally put the name to that unforgettable face, I nearly passed out. There was beautiful and then there stunning.

Tanya was stunningly beautiful.

She had the body of a Botticelli model, perfect shape with a face that would launch a thousand ships. Her strawberry blonde has pulled back into a loose ponytail with loose tendrils falling past her shoulders. Her beautiful golden eyes were wide with wonder when she noticed me, the fat one, holding hands with Edward. Her smile was warm and welcoming and when she spoke, her tone of her voice was so sweet and relaxing. "Carlisle, Esme." She greeted without taking her eyes off of me. "It's been too long!" She kissed Esme on both cheeks and shook Carlisle's hand, "who is this?" She asked, her brows furrowed slightly.

"Tanya, this is my wife Bella. Bella, this is Tanya, an old family friend." Edward wrapped his arms around me as I extended my hand to hers.

"Wife?" she asked, eying my hand before reluctantly taking it. "When were you married?"

"Not to long ago," he chuckled as he kissed my temple.

"Bella?" she eyed me speculatively for a quick moment before composing herself, "was this your pet from before?"

"Pet?" Rosalie snorted. "You make her seem like she's a dog, Tanya. This is the Bella from Forks, the love of Edward's life" Rosalie arched one perfect eyebrow at Tanya, as if to dare her to speak out of line again. I nearly choked on my own tongue, Rosalie...defending me?

"Well, congratulations!" another beautiful blonde appeared from behind Tanya. She had the biggest smile I had ever seen, her springy blonde hair bounced as she extended her hand to mine. "On behalf of me and my sisters, welcome to the family!" She shoved Tanya lightly and looked back at me, "I'm Kate by the way."

"Nice to meet you Kate," I managed to choke out. Kate looked down at my stomach and whispered something into Carlisle's ear. He looked at me and smiled warily before answering her question out loud.

"Everything will be explained when we get to your home."

"Well, then," Tanya said. "Let us get you all settled!"

They loaded Khloe into the waiting van that Emmett and Rosalie were to drive. We followed in Tanya's shiny black Tahoe. The ride was uncomfortable and awkward, Kate would keep turning back in her seat and stare at my stomach like it was one of the seven wonders of the world. Edward scowled at Tanya through the rear-view mirror and kept his arms tightly around me. Tanya's answering look alone was enough to make me want to crawl under a rock.

-x-X-x-

We drove off the main road down a dirt path and after miles of trees and brush, we reached a large two story cabin that rested on a river bank. Three figures suddenly appeared on the porch waving as we parked the cars. Kate darted out of the car and stood by the side of the silvery blonde headed woman, she tip toed to her hear and said something that made the woman giggle. "They act like they've never seen a pregnant woman before," Edward muttered under his breath.

"It has been a long time, Edward." The silvery blonde spoke to Edward but smiled in my direction. "I am Irina, it's very nice to meet you." She reaches out to give me a hug but my stomach is blocking her attempt, "Katie tells me that you are Edward's wife? Congratulations!"

"Thank you."

"I am Carmen," the olive-skinned woman greeted. "This is my husband, Eleazar." She points to the tall handsome man beside her, "Edward? Why were we not informed of your nuptials?" She pouted playfully before pulling him into a fierce, welcoming hug. "I thought we were family, no?"

"Of course we are," Edward laughed. "It happened from on day to the next."

"I see," she winked. "Que romantico," she pinched his cheek and smoothed one hand over mine. "I am glad to see our Edward is in better spirits. He was, how do you say in English...a party pooper?" She laughed.

"So how far along are you?" Kate finally spoke again. "Does that father know?"

"Um, well..." I bit my lip and smoothed one hand over my stomach. "It's-"

"Why don't we go inside," Carlisle said. "We have much to discuss."

Eleazar and Emmett carefully brought Khloe inside the cabin and set her up in the basement downstairs. Carlisle and Edward gathered everyone in the living room to bring the Denalis up to date on the goings on with our family.

"As you all and see, Bella is expecting a baby," Edward began. He rubbed my stomach and caressed my cheek with his finger, "the baby is mine."

"Well of course," Carmen chuckled. "You married her and plan to raise the child as your own...it will be hard but-"

"No, Carmen." Edward shook his head in amusement, "genetically, the child is half me."

"This can't be!" Eleazar exclaimed, staring at my stomach in horror.

"But it can." Rosalie said, rubbing my stomach, "Obviously."

"Edward, is this true?" Tanya asked, staring at my stomach. "You are going to be a father?"

"Yes." He looked at Tanya a little longer than expected, furrowing his brow at what she was thinking. I was so uncomfortable in that situation that I would have rather waited on the plane than deal with this. I was being looked by these beautiful women as if I were a circus freak. I just wanted to go home. "Bella has made me the happiest man, in more ways than one." He wrapped his arms around my waist, or lack there of, and kissed me softly on the lips. "I love you," he whispered into my ear.

"How is this possible?" Kate giggled, bending to her knees in front of me. "I didn't think-" she shook her head and rubbed my belly. "Hello, baby!" She cooed.

"Babies," I corrected.

Kate looked up from my stomach at both Edward and I, her eyes were wide with shock as she slowly backed away. "My goodness! This is truly amazing!"

"You have two very powerful beings growing inside you," Eleazar said. "Very unique gifts..." he muttered to Carmen.

Carlisle went on to explain my situation which led to the subject of Khloe. He asked the Denali family if it would be possible to change and keep Khloe here until she was able to control her hunger. The Denali family welcomed Khloe with open arms and promised to keep her safe. I wanted to be here when the change began. I knew from what Carlisle had lectured, that the change would take at least three days to happen so I figured I'd be safe at least for a day.

"Absolutely not!" Edward snapped, unpacking my pajamas from my case.

"Why?"

"Because it will be dangerous."

"Carlisle said it takes three days! It's not like she is going to attack me right when she's bitten."

"You never know, Bella."

"Edward," I snapped, pulling him down to meet my gaze, " Khloe is my friend and I want to be here...I _will_ be here!"

"No."

"Don't." I shook my head slowly, trying to control my anger, "don't you dare tell me what I can and cannot do."

His face fell immediately after I spat the warning and he was on his knees beside me. "Bella, my love I don't mean to come off sounding like I'm trying to boss you around. I just concerned for your well as well as our children. What if something goes wrong? What if the smell of Khloe's blood starts a frenzy within the house?" His placed his head against my stomach and continued, "I couldn't bear the thought of you being in danger. I am worried enough because I agreed to let you go and speak to Jake, please don't make me worry anymore."

"I love you," I whispered. "I love that you are so protective of me, but you have to understand my point of view. I've been taking care of myself for five years...longer if you count my time in Phoenix. She is my family and I understand the dangers, I want to be here...please, don't deny me this."

He stared at our intertwined fingers and brought them up to his lips after a few minutes. He shook his head and looked up and me through his impossibly long lashes, "I may never win with you." He smiled, tapping my nose with his finger.

-x-X-x-

Early that morning the very next day; Carlisle, Edward, Eleazar and I gathered in the basement. "You've made your decision then?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes," I nodded through my tears. Edward rubbed my back in comfort as Carlisle began to unhook the IV from her arm and the respirator tubing from her mouth. She furrowed her brow and let out a gargled chock as the tubing slipped out of her throat. Her fingers and toes moved desperately as if she were gasping for air, the monitors started beeping wildly as Carlisle continued to unhook different lines from her body. I ran my hand through her hair and caressed her face one last time before Edward had me back away. "I'm so sorry Khloe," I whispered in her ear before kissing her on her cheek. I could hear her groan as he fought for breath when Edward finally managed to pull me away.

"He needs to do this now, love." He sat us on a sofa on the other side of the basement and nodded at Carlisle to continue.

"Khloe is going to be fine," Carlisle assured me. "We just have to be patient." He leaned over and gently moved her hair away from her neck, it looked like he was kissing her but the jolt in her body told me otherwise. Her fingers extended and then curled into fists, this repeated for about ten minutes before the screaming began. I hadn't heard Khloe's voice in almost a month and the sounds of her writhing in pain were enough to break my heart. Carlisle took the seat beside her and dropped his head in his hands.

"It is always difficult to restrain," Edward whispered in my ear when he sensed my concern for Carlisle. "For him, the worst part is over...now we wait." Edward was cut of my the murderous screams coming from my best friend on the bed. Her eyes were still closed but her body thrashed and arched against the bed. Eleazar sat next to Carlisle and patted his back, they looked like two regular men staring at a campfire...so nonchalant, like it was any other day. Would I ever get used to this?

I rose from my seat and walked slowly over towards the bed, the tears made it impossible to see but I could hear her crying out in utter agony. Edward had me by the shoulders trying to restrain me from going any further but I successfully shrugged him off. "Let me," I whispered. I sat on the other side of Khloe whispered apologies each time she whimpered in pain. I sat there for an hour until I couldn't take it anymore, I felt horrible...this was all my fault. I leaned over to wipe her sweaty forehead but before I could register what was going on, her arms lifted and thrashed hitting my stomach with the force of a baseball bat.

"Bella!" Edward yelled, but he was too late. I landed flat on my stomach on the floor and just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, a mind numbing pain shot through my back and down my legs. Edward lifted me from my place on the floor and placed me on the sofa. "Did you hear that?" Edward snapped.

"Something ripped," I screamed as my babies thrashed inside me.

_I can't breath...we can't breath._

"They can't breath Carlisle! What's going on?" I cried, holding my stomach. The pain in my back was unlike anything I had ever experienced, it felt as if someone placed a ton of bricks on the small of my back. "They can't breath! This hurts!" I screamed again.

"The placenta," Carlisle muttered. "We need to get them out..now!" I could hear my bones cracking where my son was kicking, the other side of my stomach felt like I was being chewed on.

"I think it's trying to tear through my skin!" I placed my hand that side and whispered to myself, "please don't do that...we will get you out soon enough baby...please, you're hurting me."

_Hurry! We can't breath!_

Esme appeared beside me, holding my hand trying her best to comfort me. "Carlisle! They are chewing through me! They can't breath!" Edward lifted me and darted up the stairs into an empty bedroom.

"This will have to do," Carlisle said. "Bella, I need you to relax...your babies are sensing your stress."

"Bullshit!" I screamed. "They are fucking chewing through my skin, how can I stay calm?" Rose and Alice appeared with Carlisle's medical bag and some a tub of hot water and rags, "there is no way I'm delivering naturally!"

"I know, my love." Edward whispered into my ear, trying to calm me down. "Carlisle is going to do the C-section like we discussed...please try and calm down."

"Fuck calm!" I screamed as the chewing continued. "Get them out!"

**EPOV**

Bella's eyes were bloodshot with all the screaming she was doing. I could hear the twins digging and thrashing their way out, it was painful to listen to...I can't imagine what my love must have been going through.

_I have to cut her open here, Edward. If you can't handle the blood then I suggest you leave and take everyone with you...I need to do this now._

"I'm not going anywhere," he snapped.

"Don't leave me," Bella whimpered. "I can't do this alone."

"You're not alone, my love." I grabbed her hand and wiped the sweat off her forehead. My words of comfort where cut off my a loud cracking noise and Bella's bloody screams. Her back arched as she let out a silent scream. Her breathing hitched before she slumped back down onto the bed, passing out as soon as her head hit he pillow. "Oh my god!" I whimpered, "Bella!"

"I think her ribs where cracked, they need to come out now." Carlisle' sounded panicked, he never panics...that alone was unacceptable. "I don't-I haven't-" he shook his head confused and scared. This was new to all of us, I counted on Carlisle being the strong one here...not me.

"Carlisle, what' the problem?"

"I just don't want to kill her...I-"

"You won't! The longer we take to get them out, the more damage they'll do. Focus Carlisle...we need you to focus."

He nodded once and picked up the scalpel, with one clean swipe he made an incision deep enough to reach for the babies. "Ow!" he snapped.

"What?"

"It bit me," he laughed a nervous laugh. He pulled the baby out quickly and handed it over to me, "I believe this is your son." _Beautiful baby boy, Edward..._

I cradled my son in my arms, studying his features carefully, memorizing each line that creased his perfect face. His beautiful brown hair was like his mother's but the messy way it landed this way and that was all me, his eyes slowly opened and held mine in a trance. Now, memories of my mother were vague, non-existent almost, but my son's bright green eyes brought back so many childhood memories I thought I had long forgotten.

_Hello._

"Hello my son." For being less than a minute old, he was so well developed in his facial features. His brows furrowed slightly and it was Bella all over again, _where is the other one?_

"Your daughter," Carlisle laughed trying to get a grip of the squirmy baby.

"I'll take him," Rose offered. "Say hello to your daughter." _He's so perfect! _

My daughter...our daughter, had a head full of the cutest brown curls I have ever seen. She cried one strangled cry before opening her eyes, they were the color of Bella's...beautiful and full of wonder. I could have sworn she smirked at me for the quickest second before yawning. "Hello sweet girl," I cooed.

_A girl! Thank the heavens for that! The baby room could use to some pink!_

_Edward, they are beautiful, I can't believe I'm a grandmother. _

_Oh the shopping I have to do!_

"How is my wife?"

"There was no major damage inside other than her ribs, the stitches should hold."

"Will she wake up?"

"As soon as pain medication leaves her body, I'm sure she'll wake. She will be sore though, she needs to be careful." Carlisle lifted his arms for the baby and chuckled as soon as he held her in his arms, "you are going to be quite inquisitive...you have your mother in you." He rubbed her nose with his and laughed softly as she reached for his nose. "See what I mean?" _You are truly blessed, son. Cherish these moments...they are so few and far between. _

An hour after my babies births, Bella still had not woken up. I sat by her side while my family cooed and doted over the new additions, I needed Bella to be here to witness this. It didn't feel right without her lucid. Alice came into the room and sat by my side with both babies in her arms. "She will be awake in about ten minutes," she said.

"Are you certain?"

"Yes, she will be in pain but she will be fine."

"Thank you, Alice...for everything." I reached for my son and waited next to Alice, I wanted our children to be the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes.

I was a father...something I never thought I'd be, I am.

**I want to thank Twific Promotions for reading and reviewing my story on their blog!It's giving me a lot of new readers *waves* I am glad you all are enjoying my story and I hope you continue to. We are reaching the end...( sniffs) I know, but I need to hurry and end it so I can continue with my other two stories. It's getting really hard juggling all three ( my fault, I know) but I can't help myself :)**

**Hope you enjoy!  
**


	24. Chapter Twentyfour Trust is the issue

Chapter Twenty Four

Trust is the Issue

**Esme POV**

Edward Charles and Elizabeth Esme...I loved them.

It's been years since I've held a baby in my arms, the faint memories of my own flood my mind and if I could cry...I would. I look across from me and see my husband, my loving husband of these many years and words cannot describe the affection I have for him. Our granddaughter is laying against his chest as he rocks back in forth in the rocking chair. Elizabeth is fighting to stay awake but her heavy lids have won that battle, Carlisle is reading a book about modern medicine while he gently strokes the curls atop her head. I shake my head in amusement when I think about how Carlisle will never want to say no to her...she has him wrapped around her tiny finger and I honestly don't see him doing anything about it.

Edward's bright green eyes open slowly and examine my face with a furrowed brow.

_Who are you?_

"I'm your grandmother, sweetheart." Carlisle's eyes lift from his book as baby Elizabeth stirs in his arms. "Did you hear that?" I asked, Carlisle nods and sits back in his chair, careful not to rock her.

_Where is my mother? _

"Your mother is resting up, she will be in shortly."

_And my father?_

"He is with your mother."

_What about the other one?_

"Heaven, you are full of questions!" I laugh, hugging him close to me. "Your sister is asleep in your grandfather's arms" Carlisle slowly gets up and places Elizabeth back in her crib, she is a little fussy but as soon as I lay Edward beside her they face each other and return to their peaceful sleep. We stand over them holding each other and watching them them sleep. Edward's forehead rubs gently against Elizabeth's fist and keeps contact with her.

"It's amazing to see, isn't it?" Carlisle asks, taking my hand in his.

"There's a deep bond...it's beautiful."

"It's hard to imagine that only months ago, we were at our son's wedding..."

"I am so happy for my children."

-x-X-x-

**EPOV**

We took the plane back to New York the day after our children were born...our children, I still can't get over the fact that products of our love lay between us. Bella is asleep facing me while our son explores her face with his tiny hand, he finds her nose interesting and she inhales the scent of him with a smile...the role of mother fits her so perfectly.

The twins are officially a week old today and already developing at an alarming rate. Edward Charles takes after his mother, he's going to be a handful. His eyes are full of questions and when he smiles...it's her all over again. He has a strong connection with his sister, almost like a keeper. Elizabeth, well...Elizabeth is the carbon copy of Bella, same dark brown hair and wide brown eyes but her smile, that crooked little smile is all me. Alice says that she is a mini-me and I don't disagree with that at all. She is always so serious and hardly ever cries.

"You've been staring at her for hours, I'm almost jealous." Bella laughs with her eyes still closed, she slowly opens them and smiles the sweetest smile...just like our son.

"I thought you were asleep," I push her hair behind her ear and stroke her cheek gently.

"Edward's chubby little hand is making sure I stay awake." She looks down at our son and smiles adoringly as she lightly pinches his cheek.

_You're so pretty._

She laughs and kisses his nose, lightly running her finger over his lips. "I agree," she blushes and shakes her head. "I do," I continue. "You're beautiful."

"Thank you, loves of my life."

Their gifts will make for an interesting study. Edward can communicate with us through his mind but at the same time, if he wants the conversation private, he will shut me out...this will be a problem when he's older, I can tell. Elizabeth can show us the future, put us in the middle of it and live it as if in real time. Since she is so young, it's hard for her to control it but she will learn.

"I still have to talk to Jake," Bella whispers.

"Why?"

"That vision...it still haunts me and I can't keep this from him."

"Bella, I really wish you would reconsider."

"He will come looking for me, I have to."

"I don't like it..."

"I know." She rises from the bed and gently lifts our son, she sets him in the bassinet and turns on the baby mobile.

"Let me do it," I smile as I rock Elizabeth against my chest.

"She is going to be a daddy's girl."

"I am going to be a slave for both of them." I set Elizabeth down next to her brother and they drift towards each other.

"Any word on Khloe?"

"Tanya told Carlisle that the first two days were hard for her but she's adapting just fine now. I figure we can see her in a couple of months from now."

"A couple of months?" Bella's voice cracks and she turns her face to look at our children. "What am I supposed to tell Roxanne and Vanessa?"

"We have to keep them in the dark until we figure something out."

"Roxanne will not have any of that."

"We can always disappear, go to Alaska or even Canada...maybe try Europe?"

Bella bit her lip and went to sit at the edge of the bed. "I hate to say this but I think we might have to disappear..I will be changing soon too, right?" She sees me flinch at her words and crosses her arms over her chest. "Don't start that again, Edward...I thought we went over this already."

"I am not saying no, love."

"Then what's up with that face?"

"What face?"

Bella scrunches her nose and does her best to mimic my expression, it's cute and I laugh..she does not look pleased. "That face."

"I will always be a little hesitant when it comes to changing you, love. It's very dangerous..."

"Carlisle seemed to handle it fine with Chloe."

"That's because he's had years to perfect his resistance to human blood...I on the other hand, am still a little unsure."

"You want to change me?"

"Of course I do."

"I just thought that...well, Carlisle-"

"Is not your husband. Bella, listen to me...I love you, you are my wife and the mother of my children. I want to be the one to do it."

Bella turned to face me and took her hands in mine. "I want nothing more than for you to be the one. I-"

"Where is she?" The banding on the door downstairs caused Bella to jump up off the bed.

"Calm down, Roxanne." Alice said, chuckling nervously. "Who exactly are you looking for?"

"Shit," Bella muttered under her breath. We both walked to the stairs and looked down at the scene below.

Roxanne was standing there with her arms crossed over her chest tapping her feet in annoyance. "Don't play stupid with me, Alice. Bella! Where is Bella?"

"She's-"

"Bella!" Roxanne yells out, looking around the house. "Bella! I know you're here! Get your boney ass down here!"

_Shit bro, you better come down here and calm this woman down before Rosalie rips her head off for waking the babies. _

"Roxanne, please don't yell."

"Back off, Alice." Roxy snapped, flipping open her phone. "She hasn't answered my calls in over a week..somethings wrong! Bella!" She continued to yell when the voice mail came on.

_Either Bella or you better get down here son. _

I kiss Bella's forehead and squeeze her hand before I face the wrath of Roxanne.

_Look at him, walking on smug...I'd love to slap that stupid smirk off his face. I bet he's hurt her...just like-_

"Roxanne, what a surprise." I manage to sound as cordial as possible when really, I just want shake her senseless for thinking those stupid thoughts. How could I hurt Bella? Stupid girl...

"Surprise? Really?" She huffs, waving her phone at me. "I've been trying to get a hold of my best friend for over a week now! Are you keeping her from me?"

"Not at all, she hasn't been feeling well and-"

"Spare me the lies, Cullen."

"I am not lying, Roxanne." I motion for her to join me in the dining room but she isn't budging.

"Bullshit." She spits, looking up the stairs. "You keep Khloe from me, now Bella? What are you up to?"

"Roxanne, I can assure-"

"You can assure all you want, dickhead, I don't give two shits...I want to see her before I call the cops."

"Why would you do something like that? Bella is not up for visitors at the moment, she isn't feeling well but it's not life threatening...I promise you."

"Listen to me, Edward...you may be her husband and the soon to be father of her child but when you left her...WE became her family and blood is thicker than water. Now kindly fuck off and tell me where she is."

"I will ask you kindly, ONCE, to control your tongue in our home." I snap, feeling awful the instant the words leave my mouth. She flinches back then leans toward me with an amused look on her face.

"You don't scare me, Cullen."

"I wasn't trying to."

"Let me see my friend."

"She doesn't want visitors."

"Then let me see Khloe."

"No."

"Why the hell not?" She shrieks, slamming her hand on the table.

"Enough, Roxy." Bella snaps as her arms cross over her chest. "Enough."

"Bella!" Roxy rises from her seat and pulls Bella into a hug, she's sniffing and muttering words of relief. "I was so worried about you!"

"I know, I'm so sorry." Bella hugged her tighter and kissed her cheek, let's go outside and take a walk. Roxanne nods and leads the way while Bella stays back and winks at me. "Check on the twins, I won't be long."

**BPOV**

We walked slowly down the cobblestone path that led to a white gazebo. Roxy closed her camel hair trench coat and adjusted her hat when the strong wind nearly knocked it off. "Aren't you cold, Bella?"

"No, I'm okay...this cardigan is warm." Roxy eyed me suspiciously then shrugged as she cleaned the dry leaves off the bench.

"Want to tell me what's going on?" She pulled out a pack of Marlboro lights from her inside pocket and offered me one. I bit my lip and shook my head before she snapped and tucked them back into her pocket. "Shoot, I forgot...you're preggo."

"Hmm, yeah." I laughed nervously and twisted my fingers around each other.

"So?"

"It's complicated, Roxy."

She huffed and rolled her eyes. "And I'm what? Five? Come on Bella..what the hell is going on?"

"Fine, wanna know the truth? Khloe is dead."

"Fucking liar."

"Her heart stopped beating...she's gone."

"What?" Roxy whimpered. "How could you not tell us? We were all family?" My heart pulled and a prickling pain began at the corner of my eyes. I hated lying to her but technically, I wasn't. Her heart _had_ stopped beating, she was no longer considered alive in the human sense of the word.

"I didn't know how-" All I felt was the tingling sensation after her hand left my cheek. The sharp smack was so loud that the few birds perched above us had flown off in different directions.

"I guess I deserved that," I whispered.

"You deserve so much more but since you're pregnant...I'm limited to what it is I can do." Roxy rose from her seat and wiped her tears. "You could have had the decency to call us and let us know...that's the least you could have done. But what? Now that you have a cozy little life here and a new family to fall back on it's okay? Toss your friends aside like an old chicken bone?"

"Roxy, wait-" I cried, wishing I could speak the truth.

"No," she snapped as she yanked her hand away from mine. "Have a nice life, Bella...I'll see myself out."

"Roxy!" I whimpered, reaching out for her but I couldn't move. I couldn't put one foot in front of the other and make the effort to stop my friend from leaving me. As painful as it was, I couldn't.

**Roxy POV**

The nerve. The fucking nerve of that...you know? She doesn't even deserve a name. She's so smug, sitting here all hoity toity just because she married into money. Nouveau Riche ...that's what it is. Look at the fucking house! Forget about the old and in with the new...how dare she? How fucking dare she?

I made my way back up the winding path until I reached the door of the kitchen. I wished they had the gates unlocked, I didn't want to go inside. I took a deep breath and turned the knob, Alice sat on a stool by the island playing cards with a blonde-haired boy, cute. They look up at me and smile but I can't help but roll my eyes, how could they be so calm...fuck them.

"Roxanne?" Alice chirps, waving me over.

"No, I've got to go."

"Please wait," she asks.

"No, I'm done here."

I stomped towards the front door and see Edward sitting at the bottom of the steps with a baby in his arms. It's a little girl and it has brown curly hair...cute. I didn't know Edward had a child.

My hand is at the knob when I hear Bella coo. I turn and see Edward handing Bella the baby and she eyes me warily. The infant turns her wobbly neck to face stare at me and my back is suddenly against the door. I'm looking at a mini Bella...same eyes, same hair.

_.Fuck?_

"Roxanne, this is Elizabeth." Bella giggles when the mini her turns to stare at her. "My daughter."

"Your what?"

"Daughter," she repeats.

"Step daughter?"

"No."

"You're shitting me."

"Bella!" Edward whispers roughly.

"No, Edward." She snaps, walking forward. "She's right...she's family, too." I see Edward sit back down on the steps and bury his head in his hands. "We need to talk Roxy, you need to know that you are not an old chicken bone...I love you and you my family."

"Be-Bella...what the hell is going on?"

"Come to the dining room," a blonde-haired man suddenly appeared with a book in his hand. "Roxanne, I am Carlisle, Edward's father." Can you say DILF? He looks no older that thirty! How in the hell?

"We will explain everything," Edward smiled as if he could read what I was thinking. "Why don't you wait in dining room, I need to speak with my wife."

"Su-sure..." Carlisle leads the way and offers me a drink, I decline and thrum my fingers nervously against the marble table. Something weird is going on here, I need answers...now.

**EPOV**

"Are you insane?" I snap. I hate snapping at her but what she's doing is reckless.

Bella just smiles and sits the baby gently in the bassinet next to her sleeping brother. "She is my family and I won't lie."

"Bella, you don't realize the danger you can put her in."

"I trust her, Edward. When my trust was all but gone she showed me that she had my back...I can't leave her thinking I didn't care enough to let her know our friend died."

"Bella-"

"No, Edward. It may be easy for you to just pick up and leave without so much as an explanation..but it's not for me."

"That was a low blow, Bella."

"It's true though." It was true, I didn't expect what I did to be forgotten.

"What's gotten into you? Just a few minutes ago you were saying it was better to disappear."

"Seeing Roxanne's reaction was heartbreaking." She shifted nervously before looking up to meet my gaze, her eyes were teary as she stroked my cheek. "I'm sorry for saying that about you, I love you and forgave you...but she's my family, Edward."

"We need to talk to Carlisle, first...have a family meeting about this."

"Fine," huffed. "Call them up here."

"They heard you already."

Within minutes, the rest of the family were seated on the bed anxiously waiting to insert their two sense. In the end though, it was Carlisle decision.

"Do you realize that you could out us all?" Rosalie snapped. "Bella, are you crazy?"

"Yeah, Bella, we don't know this girl." Emmett agreed, taking her hand.

_Your wife is going bonkers, Edward..._

"Well, I know her!" Bella whispered, motioning to the bassinet. "I don't want to keep things from her."

"I understand that, Bella but maybe you should have thought about that before you decided to get involved with Edward again."

"Rosalie!" Esme chided.

Bella took my hand and squeezed it before resting her hands on her hips. "Rosalie, how I live my life is none of your concern. You may have your opinions about me...hell, you may even hate me, but it's my choice."

"Not when it involved the family, Bella." Rose deadpanned, standing up to face Bella.

_Edward, calm your wife..Rosalie is about to lose it. _

"When it involves _my_ family...Edward and my children, it's my choice." Rosalie's eyes grew wide in her head and she slowly sat back down. "If you all have a problem with who I trust or feel like I am going to put you in danger then I will pack up my children and leave."

_No! I just bought a swing set! _

_Edward, she can't! _

"Bella, there is no need for that." Carlisle spoke up, putting his hand on Bella's shoulder. "What do you think about this, Edward?"

"I will agree with whatever my wife decides, we are in this together and her life is mine now."

"Roxanne seems like a trustworthy person guys," Alice chimed in. "I think she would keep her mouth shut."

"Bella's always been a good judge in character, I think that if she's that important to Bella then we should at least consider it." Esme wrapped her arms around Bella's shoulders and kissed her head. "She is a part of this family after all."

"I still don't agree," Rosalie muttered.

"Jasper?" Carlisle asked.

"I trust Bella."

"Alice?"

"Same here."

"Emmett?"

_Fuck, fuck, fuck...what do I do? I trust her but dammit! Rose is gonna be so-_

"Everyone in this house is entitled to their own opinion," I said to Emmett.

He nodded and looked at Rosalie sympathetically. "I trust Bella."

"You already know my answer," Rosalie muttered. "It's not going to change."

"Very well," Carlisle nodded. "Bella, are you sure that you can trust her?"

"With my life," she nodded. "With my life."

"Okay, well...let's not keep her waiting." Carlisle smiled at both Bella and I before taking Esme's hand.

The rest of my family filed out of the room and made their way downstairs. "I love you, Bella, and I will support you no matter how hair-brained your ideas are."

She blushed and playfully swatted my chest before wrapping her warms arms around me. "I love you, too."

"Let's get this show on the road, shall we?" She takes my hand and leads the way. "This should be interesting."

**OKAY, so this technically was supposed to be the last chapter before the epilogue but when I went over the second half, it didn't really sound right. I am currently working on it so please be patient for a couple more chapters...we are reaching the end. :)**

**Thanks again to TwiFic Promotions for pimping my story...I love you guys :) **

**Thank you to all the readers and reviewers...you make me so happy! **

**See you soon! **

**xoxo**


	25. Chapter Twenty Five

***This chapter contains some violence, painful situations and sensitive subjects to some. If you are easily offended by abuse then please stop reading...now. **

Chapter Twenty-Five

Falling away like ashes:

Khloe's experience

**_*Song: New World in my view by King Britt*_**

I can see me, sitting at the dressing table in my childhood home, I'm fourteen again and my heart is pounding in my throat…_this is just a bad dream, right? _

In my mind, the levee that keeps my suppressed memories at bay crumbles like a sandcastle. I feel as though I'm drowning within myself.

_What's happening to me? _

White-hot heat, course through me…the memory of my uncle burning me with a branding iron surface, and I can't breath…I'm struggling to swim to the surface…_I don't like this. _

The memory faded as quickly as it came but the pain of being burned remains…the cracking whip of fire, the suffocation, the helplessness…._I need to scream but I can't. _

In my mind, I can see myself flailing in the water and my god, it burns. It's the lake of fire my Aunt Fern used to preach about on Sunday afternoons with her church group…the God-fearing aunt who'd make me kneel on rice and pray for my 'heathen' soul…I'm the bastard out of Lafayette, Louisiana. Born to a flighty mother who's dreams of being a singer where ripped away when I was born. The memory suddenly falls away like ashes in the wind.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I scream, asking someone, anyone who can hear me. My echo surrounds me and it pierces my ears, I sink back to the bottom to make it stop.

I'm the fifteen-year-old girl sneaking out of her grandmother's house in the middle of the night to talk to my mother's gravestone. I hate her for leaving me but I can't cry, the river of fire will not allow it. Her face flickers in my mind like an old picture show before slowly burning away.

A thick whip of fire cracks at me again and I'm sinking further into the fire, I don't fight it this time because the farther I sink, these memories fade and I can breathe a little easier.

I'm the sixteen-year-old praying to a God I'm not sure I believe in, begging that my grandfather would be too tired to come into my room and beat me again…beat me for being illegitimate or whatever reason he could think of for that day. I stop breathing when the door to my room creaks open, I hear clinking of his belt against his thigh. My grandmother sits outside my room, knitting another blanket while I silently take the whipping I get. I hate her. I hate them.

This memory whirlpools and flushes itself down into the river, I can breathe again.

I'm seventeen and it's three-in-the-morning. I'm quietly packing my clothes while the walls around this home crumble around me. I tip-toe into my grandparents room and I can see their figures lying asleep in bed. I take the two-hundred dollars from my grandfather's wallet and the forty from my grandmother's sewing bag. I don't feel guilty when I write 'sinners have souls, too' on the mirror of their dresser with my red lipstick. I scale down the open window of my room to the waiting cab. Before I get in, I take one last look at the house of my youth and watch it crumble into ashes.

I sink further down, and it burns more…I welcome it this time.

I'm a freshman in college and I meet Roxanne and Bella. Late-night study sessions and movie nights flood my memory. We share secrets and cry together…it's therapeutic, it's what I needed…they are my family now.

_No, this is a memory I want to keep_. I'm fighting against the scalding waves, reaching out into nothingness as the memory runs away from me, I forget why I'm fighting and let myself sink again.

The fire whips at me again, scathing my back and I'm flailing again…this is quickly becoming unbearable. I can't open my eyes, I feel like they'd melt away if I did. I don't understand what's going on, I don't understand why I'm here suffering through this. I can hear the fire crackling within me. My heart flutters like a helicopter and I can feel the wind in my face…but it's not soothing, not at all.

I'm in Bella's apartment and Joe's standing over me, massaging his fist. My head is throbbing and I can taste blood in my mouth…blood, the smell of it makes my throat burn and I can't understand why. "Is this what makes you feel like a man Joe? Beating women...oh your such a man you fucking prick." I can hear myself say, my vision is blurry but I can feel him pull my hair. My body lifts effortlessly and I can smell the whisky on his breath. The fire engulfs me again and I'm laying under him, something in my head pops like a balloon and I can't feel his blows anymore. His calloused hands run over my chest. He stops and turns his attention to the door. He hides and I see Bella, she screams and rushes to my side. In my head, I'm screaming for her to run away but words fail me.

My heart is fluttering, I feel like a fish out of water. He pulls her hair and I can't help…this kills me. Oh my-

_Am I dead? Is this what happens when you die? _

My heart pounds against my chest. I feel like it's going to explode any second now. The lake of fire seems to be getting cooler the further I sink. That memory fades like all the others and the soles of my feet are no longer burning. I grip my chest and feel my heart slow to a halt, I begin to panic. "I don't want to die!" I scream, "I'm not ready to go yet!"

In response to my pleas, the fire whips across my face and I'm flailing again, fighting it with everything I have. My body stills as the fire wraps around me like a blanket, pulling me further into the lake.

I see an young man standing in front of a group of older men, I don't recognize him and it's as if he's from another time. He has blonde hair and so handsome, but his face is troubled. The men behind him carry pitch forks and large wooden crosses. Some carry bibles, others carry rosaries. It's as if they're searching for something…one man screams in agony…I think they find it.

_I don't understand…is this a witch hunt?_

The young man is running down a dark alley, he is holding his neck and crying into the darkness. The mob is after him now. He hides in trash, surrounded my rotten potatoes until the streets fall silent.

The burning turns into cool bursts of air. It's comforting but my insides feel as if they are cooking, I can't be still….it hurts too much.

I can feel someone touching me. It's quick but a finger moves across my forehead. My hair is being brushed and people are whispering around me. The fire is all but gone but the dryness in my throat carries a faint memory of the hell I've just been through. I can breath but I don't need to. I feel light and for the first time in a long time…I feel whole again.

"Khloe?" A musical voice calls out, touching my cheek. "Can you hear me?"

"She's not ready yet, Irina."

"How can you tell, sister?" The girl giggles, touching my face again. "Do you have her on a timer?"

"Cute, Irina." Their voices sound like echo's in an empty hallway, I can feel my fingers move on their own accord and someone's breath catches. "I think she's coming out of it."

"It's about time…it took longer than usual."

"She was badly hurt," the motherly voice said. "Khloe?" She said, gently tugging on my arm. "I know you can hear me, child. Don't be afraid…we're here to help you."

My eyes flutter open and I see two of the most beautiful women I've ever seen staring down at me in wonder. Both blonde-haired with honey-colored eyes, they smile at me adoringly as they help me up from the metal slab I was laying on. I notice that I'm hooked to an I.V. machines and a breathing respirator that I don't think I need anymore. I don't remember anything expect for the burning pain and the memory of that young blonde-man…I'm so confused.

"Come," the taller blonde says as she pats my shoulder. "Let's get you fed and then we will explain everything…there is so much to tell."

"Fed? I'm not…who are you?" I ask, pulling away from her embrace. "Why am I so thirsty?"

"My name is Tanya." She smiles, putting her hand on her chest. "And this is my sister Irina."

"What happened to me?"

"We will explain everything… but for now, let just get you fed. You will feel better once the burning in your throat subsides."

"How did you-"

"Trust me, child…there is so much to tell and we have eons of time." Tanya laughed and rose from her seat, pulling me with her. "You must learn to be patient…it will make sense very soon."

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**I AM SOOOOO VERY SORRY FOR THE LENGTH OF TIME BETWEEN UPDATES. I was suffering from a major fit of writers block with this story. I promised I'd finish it and I will. I will begin to update regularly in the new year, I promise. **

**Thanks to all who are still reading it, update is coming in January. ..STORY!**

**I appreciate all my gorgeous readers! xoxo Thank you for your understanding AND patience.  
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